GlossLip, Celebrity Gossip From Our Lips To Yours

02/07/2007 (4:04 pm)

Britney Spears Dumped

britneyisaac.JPG

Can Britney Spears’ life get any worse? I mean yeah, of course it can, and it will, and I will write about it tomorrow. But for now, let’s focus on today’s level of suckitude: getting dumped by Isaac Cohen.

Britney’s latest paramour, aspiring actor Isaac Cohen, lasted exactly a month. Which, by my calculations, is exactly three weeks and six days longer than I would have expected, and only slightly less more predictable than the outcome of her last relationship.

britneyrough.JPGYou would think a person worth $50 million dollars, and supposedly one of the hottest females on the planet (at least at one time) could keep a man around, especially some nobody. But apparently, even nobodies have their standards and it appears Britney Spears was beneath this nobody’s standard.

OK Magazine has the inside track on how it all went so, so wrong. While Cohen’s L.A. Models agent Brandi Lord confirmed “They are no longer an item,” it was a source close to Isaac who gave the details, “It was a bit much for him…He likes her. They had a good time together. He was doing his best to help her out – but there is only so much one person can do.”

Yep, Isaac was only one person, and there was only so much he could do. Hell, the Army Corps of Engineers would be stumped by Britney Spears. A team of award-winning scientists trained in altering DNA and brain transplants would fail. The Vatican strike-force exorcism team would be crest-fallen. Even our Beloved Creator of the Cosmos would scratch his head in befuddlement. In fact…oh you get my point, she’s hopeless.

Worry not my fellow Britney-ites, good news is around the corner. It seems just when we’d given up hope on our fallen angel, details of her lesbian hot sex life are starting to emerge. HOT DAMN, life is good!!

Posted by D
Filed under: Britney Spears

11 Comments

  1. I’ve just gotta tell you that I love reading your deliciously dirty delivery of trash every morning. You are hilarious! Your column provides me with the perfect reason for avoiding those pesky little domestic duties like folding socks and ironing underpants. Underpants? Am I wearing any? I’m a domestic minx, not Britney Spears…

    Comment by the domestic minx (Claire Carroll — February 7, 2007 @ 7:00 pm

    2.  

  2. OH MY GOD SHE IS GAY! WHAT ON EARTH WILL I DO WITH MY LI……

    Comment by Ken Edwards — February 7, 2007 @ 11:58 pm

    3.  

  3. Well agreed on the bringing of the deliciously dirty trash, and that’s coming from a guy who started a blog called Dumpster Bust! So Bust on, Dawn, says I !

    What happened to Britney, by the way? Wasn’t she a naughty little school girl about 15 minutes (of fame) ago?

    Comment by Eric Berlin — February 8, 2007 @ 2:00 am

    4.  

  4. Oh you little minx you!!! Wow, you made my day. I feel rejuvinated. I will have to be extra extra vicious today just to satisfy you insatiable domestic goddesses!!

    Thanks CC.

    Comment by dmdo1016 — February 8, 2007 @ 7:54 am

    5.  

  5. HI Dawn, love the look, feel, attitude, information, and writing of the new site. I am SO ready to let the world know about it. Thanks!

    Comment by Eric Olsen — February 8, 2007 @ 8:59 am

    6.  

  6. I’m starting to think Britney Spears may have relationship problems.

    Comment by Matthew T. "Matt" Sussman — February 8, 2007 @ 11:39 am

    7.  

  7. Just when I was getting bored with the web, I found this.

    Look out, Instapundit, Dawn’s going to pass you by….

    Comment by Bruce Kratofil — February 8, 2007 @ 12:36 pm

    8.  

  8. Oh, geez you guys, all this gushing, over little old me.

    Now I am going to start getting all paranoid.

    Seriously, thanks folks. Except Suss, I know why he’s here.

    Comment by dmdo1016 — February 8, 2007 @ 1:40 pm

    9.  

  9. This is the first time I have heard about Britney & Kevin splitting! Now she’s down to having only 2 dependants!

    Comment by Alex — February 10, 2007 @ 5:59 am

    10.  

  10. [...] Last week, we were all shocked to hear that Britney’s four-week old romance to model/aspiring actor Isaac Cohen was over.  Sources close to Cohen claim that Spears was “a bit much” for him and he ended his fledgling romance with Britney via a phonecall on February 4.  [...]

    Pingback by GlossLip » Britney Spears’ ex reveals the popstar as a lonely, insecure sex-a-holic — February 11, 2007 @ 7:04 pm

    11.  

  11. Hey britney spears’
    How is going’Me good”
    You and Issac is good bate He is only
    wan’t your monney.

    Comment by roxxy poirier/april poirier — March 7, 2007 @ 3:26 pm

    12.  

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.