Britney Spears’ ex reveals the popstar as a lonely, insecure sex-a-holic
Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Britney Spears wounded heart has now been sold out for some chump change, once again proving my theory that celebrities are the classiest and most morally superior group on the planet.
Last week, we were all shocked to hear that Britney’s four-week old romance to model/aspiring actor Isaac Cohen was over. Sources close to Cohen claim that Spears was “a bit much” for him and he ended his fledgling romance with Britney via a phonecall on February 4.
Cohen, not content with just breaking poor besotted Brit’s heart, is now sharing intimate details about his brief relationship to tabloid rag, News Of The World.
With the classic headline “Tortured Britney’s on the edge of abyss” the details aren’t just salacious soundbites, but also insight into the troubled star’s state-of-mind since separating from her husband of two years Kevin Federline, in November of 2006.
Isaac talks about the “trashy” perception people have of Britney:
“By the time I met Britney she was burnt out. She knew she had been drinking and partying as a way to try to banish the bad stuff from her life. Far from the trashy drunk, I saw a very shy, sweet girl who was just desperately sad about what had happened with her marriage. Yes she enjoyed Jack Daniel’s but she was trying not to get in the state she had been in with Paris. Her boys mean everything to her and she worried she might lose them in a custody battle.
Oh man, Jack Daniel’s, well, that explains A LOT!
On their sex life, Cohen had this to say:
“She loves sex and is incredibly adventurous. She was totally happy when we were locked in each other’s arms. But once the sex stopped Britney was like a little girl lost, unable to cope.
God, this has Lifetime Network’s Movie of the Week all over it.
How K-Fed cast a pall over their budding love:
“It was clear she was not over her marriage. The first time she invited me to her home I saw her wedding dress hung on the wall in a glass box. As we made love that night it was like Kevin was in bed beside us. She had not even begun to move on with her life.”
Cohen talks about trips they took together. One to Las Vegas, where they stayed at the exclusive Sky Villa in the Palms Hotel, and at an Arizona 
spa.
“Britney is not shy about her body so she slowly stripped off her clothes and beckoned me to join her under the stars in the pool. It was an amazing view over the Las Vegas strip. But we didn’t stay long as we wanted to try out the bed. So we clambered on and I grabbed the remote and started it turning round and round. All the time as we made love we watched ourselves in the mirrored ceiling. It was amazing but we did it so many times it made us start to feel sick. We had to turn it off.
“She needed me to hold her and tell her what a beautiful girl she is. We would make slow love until the sun came up. She has an amazing body and I loved exploring every inch of it.”
Wow, nothing says HOT like centrifugal force + views of your naked ass humping Britney Spears over and over again. And I am not sure how you feel, but the phrase “make slow love until the sun came up” makes me want to punch a bunch of crippled orphans.
On Britney’s body image:
“Like any woman who has had two children she worried about her figure. As far as I was concerned she was gorgeous, but she had such low self esteem she sometimes would not listen. She would say, ‘Am I fat? Am I fat?’ then spend hours dancing around the house trying to burn off calories. She was always jumping around. Other times, she got so low she didn’t care what she looked like. She could not care less some days if she went out of the house without brushing her hair or checking to see if her outfit matched.”
I can’t argue with this one, as pictures do not lie.
On her inner circle and friendship with Paris Hilton:
“I rarely saw Britney with any friends and during our time together I never saw her with Paris, it was like that was a part of her life she wanted to forget.”
And now, that makes two of us who would like to forget that part of her life.
Lastly, Isaac on how he feels about Britney and his hopes for her future:
“I adore Britney and in a different place at a different time we might have stood a chance,It was far too soon for her to get involved in a relationship with anyone. But she has coped with so much in her life I hope she does not give up now. She is too special for that.”
Yep, nothing says “you’re special” like a former swain waxing poetic to six billion people the tawdry details of your brief affair. Happy Valentine’s Day, Britney.
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Okay the wedding dress in the case would freak me out.
Comment by Ken Edwards — February 12, 2007 @ 12:36 pm
What about the whole thing wouldn’t freak anyone out.
Poor Britney, she really is becoming a shell of her former self. It’s like K-Fed hollowed her out.
Did I just write that? I am hellbound.
Comment by dmdo1016 — February 12, 2007 @ 12:43 pm
Britt is A CRACK HOR
Comment by Yo mamma — February 13, 2007 @ 1:42 pm
britt is going down the road of so many that became so famous so early..that world can swallow adults let alone young kids
Comment by rod — February 14, 2007 @ 9:23 am
[...] we last left our forlorn Britney, she was nursing a broken heart after being unceremoniously dumped by Isaac Cohen, her boyfriend of [...]
Pingback by GlossLip » Britney Spears Universally Mocked; Exes K-Fed and JT Bond, Share a Hug — February 14, 2007 @ 2:03 pm