Anna Nicole Got Around - Daddy No.4 Comes Forward
 
It seems we have a fourth suitor claiming that HE could be five-month-old Dannielynn Hope Smith’s daddy. Â
The latest sperminator in the Anna Nicole Smith baby-daddy pool is Alexander Denk, Anna’s ex-bodyguard. Denk first came into Anna’s life when he was “cast” as the chef on “The Anna Nicole Show.”  Mr. Denk spoke with ExtraTV about his time with Anna. For the two years he worked for the TrimSpa spokesperson, they carried on a “passionate love affair.”Â
Denk had this to say about his former love:
“I think it was an instant spark, and I think for her it was the same. She was wonderful. A very sensitive and emotional woman. A very good kisser, I must say.â€
Denk also believes Anna’s death was not a result of a drug overdose. He revealed that Anna was being treated for life-threatening seizures with medication and that this underlying condition may have contributed to the star’s death. He said he had spoken to Anna in the last two weeks, and is now “haunted” by their conservation:
“She was sick of being called names. Everyone was bashing on her and calling her names and putting her down and suing her.â€
Denk also officially announced his paternal claim to Anna’s baby daughter, Dannilynn.. Â
“There’s always a possibility. She always told me she wanted to have her kids with me.â€
Denk has already obtained a lawyer and has stated his intentions to raise the baby if it is determined that he is the father.
Seriously, are there any men left who haven’t claimed to have slept with Anna Nicole Smith? I think we might need to start some sort of International Random DNA testing to get to the bottom of this mystery.Â
The next logical step in all of this absurdity is some sort of contest pitting the potential baby-daddies against one another. Maybe we put them on an island, split them up into teams and devise increasingly difficult challenges wherein they must outsmart one another until everyone is eventually voted off and only one babydaddy remains. And instead of winning a million dollars, they get a one year supply of Huggies, and 18 years of headaches. It’s genius.
By all accounts, Anna Nicole Smith could have been relegated to a squalid trailer park somewhere. A place where a baby-daddy could be found under every rusted-out jalopy on blocks, but instead of four beelines to Anna’s paternity doorstep, we’d see four (or is it now five) dusttrails speeding off into the distant desert, never to be heard from again.Â
Behold, the power of money.
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A crying shame ain’t it?
Comment by Marfa — February 13, 2007 @ 6:11 pm
It’s a shame alright. Too bad only the sleazeballs are doing all the crying.
Comment by dmdo1016 — February 13, 2007 @ 6:40 pm
Have they ruled out Ariel Sharon?
Comment by Matthew T. "Matt" Sussman — February 13, 2007 @ 7:00 pm
As the killer, or the baby-daddy?
Comment by dmdo1016 — February 13, 2007 @ 8:55 pm
I love how we’re still talking smack about someone who is dead. People grow up.
Comment by Stace — February 14, 2007 @ 3:18 am
Hi Glosslip,
I have never grieved as hard as I have since Anna Nicole died. I think she was a misunderstood pop artist. My blog obituary can be read at
http://artswipe.blogspot.com
Would be nice to hear what you think!
Artswipe x
Comment by The Artswipe — February 14, 2007 @ 3:57 am
I’m surprised Bobby Trendy hasn’t included hisself into the gene-pool. But then again maybe he should drown in a pool of methadone.
Comment by D-Bomb — February 14, 2007 @ 9:05 am
Apparently Anna Nicole Smith named Howard K. Stern as the father of her baby daughter because she could not get anyone else who agreed to be the phony father. She tried to name G. Ben Thompson but he declined. So Anna Nicole Smith did not have a choice but to go with the crooked and the murderer of her own son to be the nominal father of her own daughter. She probably needed a bag full of Methadone and other narcotic drugs to get over this hideous act. (remember, she always suspected that Howard K. Stern caused her son’s death)
Comment by david real — March 21, 2007 @ 7:34 pm