Ralph Fiennes Will Have Sex With Anyone
Actor Ralph Fiennes proves that even famous people aren’t always discriminating or smart.Â
Fiennes 44, was aboard a Qantas flight from Darwin, Australia, to Mumbai, India, on January 24, when he engaged in unprotected sex with flight attendant Lisa Roberston, and then again at his hotel in Mumbai. Ironically, Fiennes was on his way to India to give a talk about HIV and the importance of practicing safe sex.Â
And when I say ironic, what I mean is, Ralph Fiennes screws strangers without covering his jimmy and then talks down to third world countries because he thinks he’s a fucking wizard or something. Douche-bag!
There were some conflicting reports on who was the aggressor in this liaison, but considering he’s Ralph Fiennes and she’s a waitress in the sky, does it really matter? Ms. Robertson, a former undercover police officer, initially denied the encounter, despite witnesses observing the two enter an in-flight lavatory. Ms. Robertson has since been terminated from Qantas. In statements to the press Ms. Robertson had this to say about her encounter with Fiennes
“At first I denied it because I was desperate to keep my job and I didn’t want to hurt Ralph. I know some people will think it’s disgusting and I’m not proud of what I did - it was inappropriate behaviour - but I don’t regret it.”
Ms. Robertson has since said the encounter was worth losing her job over.
“Ralph was a great lover and I thought if I was going to get the sack, it would be worth it. I knew it was against the rules and wrong but I didn’t care.”
After the salacious story broke, Ms. Robertson’s dad went on record regarding his thoughts about his daughter’s co-workers informing Qantas officials of the misconduct:
“[They're]probably ugly as a hatful of arseholes and were just jealous.”
Being as ugly as a hatful of arseholes is something Mr. Robertson should be familiar with, as his daughter is one sombrero-full of arse-fug.
Ms. Robertson, clearly an arbiter of moral behavior herself, also found Mr. Fiennes (an ambassador for children’s charity Unicef) actions somewhat dubious:
“I was a bit shocked that he didn’t wear a condom,” she said.”Looking back, I think of it as dangerous and hypocritical given that he was going to India to talk about AIDS.”
Mr. Fiennes has not denied the affair, but his rep claims Fiennes is “really embarrassed” and said this about the incident:
“This woman seduced him on a plane. She was the sexual aggressor. She initiated it. He didn’t force himself upon her.”
Fiennes, hasn’t made a public statement about the inappropriateness of having unprotected sex with a stranger while in transit to give a talk on HIV and AIDS, but a friend of the star said: “He’s been upset by any implication in her story that he forced himself on her because he didn’t.”  Of course he didn’t, he’s a sexy superstar, she’s the equivalent of a truckstop road whore in the sky.
Still not getting the point are we Ralph? No one cares that you nailed an ugly flight attendant, or like sleeping with women old enough to be your mother. No, it’s the poor example you set for the young people that bothers me, Ralph. Â
I for one, never, ever had sex Ralph Fiennes. 
He definitely didn’t dress up like Voldemort and I certainly never dressed up like Hermione Granger. And if he did trick me into doing terrible, naughty things by saying he used the ”imperious curse” on me, it’s not my fault. He is the Dark Lord, and is magic and stuff, how could I resist? Not that I am admitting anything because I, like Hermione Granger, am a virgin.Â
Thanks to Desicritic’s Dee.
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Flying those friendly skies. Nothing like some ’strange’ in the tight cramped confines of the airplane lavatory. You know there’s just nothing like trying to figure where to put your legs and avoiding that stainless toilet.
Maybe his message is ‘Do as I say, not as I do’ - thanks, Ralphie.
Comment by Jewels — February 20, 2007 @ 7:29 pm
He’s a total knucklehead. I do not understand why these famous people do this stuff and think people aren’t going to find out about it. It’s a huge duh!
Comment by dmdo1016 — February 20, 2007 @ 8:52 pm
As we all know, that’s the one head that doesn’t have a brain. Obviously!
Comment by D-Bomb — February 21, 2007 @ 7:23 am
Yeah, and he’s a wizard too!
Comment by dmdo1016 — February 21, 2007 @ 8:21 am
So this bloke shags an airline steward ?
So what ? Good for him.
Who really gives a f*ck who he’s shagging ?
Is is a crime or something ?
Comment by Hoary — February 21, 2007 @ 10:05 am
It certainly isn’t a crime. What’s bothersome is that someone who is supposed to be speaking about HIV and AIDS is either too horny, or too stupid to wear a glove.Having unprotected sex with a triple bagger, now that’s a crime!
Comment by D-Bomb — February 21, 2007 @ 12:35 pm
Please return the stewardess to her original upright position
Comment by manfred — February 21, 2007 @ 6:26 pm
The most expensive piece of ass I sampled went for $1500 an hour. Her name is long forgotten but she was super hot, way better looking than this girl.
Comment by dantheman — July 21, 2008 @ 5:47 pm