Paris Hilton’s Party Ruined, Cries as Brandon Davis Disses Paula Abdul
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Paris is such a bitch. Can’t I even be given the opportunity to bask in the afterglow of the Oscars without uber-skank Hilton screwing things up? I guess the answer is no, as we now have not only Paris Hilton reduced to tears, but poor Paula Abdul attacked by the notoriously greasy and smelly oil heir Brandon Davis.
When we last heard from the dynamic-duo (and when I say dynamic, what I really mean is can someone please shove these two a-holes off a cliff? Seriously, I’m not kidding, they need to plunge to a rocky bluff many feet below) they were harassing Lindsay Lohan in the now infamous “Firecrotchgate” scandal of last summer. That fiasco ruined a good two weeks of my life while we had to endure both the cackling of the Hilton and greaseslick of the Davis.
In Day 15 of the ongoing 26th birthday of Paris Hilton we find ourselves at The Prime Grill in Beverly Hills where Parisite and her pals are enjoying a fine meal with guests including Nicole Richie (she eats now?) and current boyfriend Joel Madden, Courtney Love, her daughter Francis Bean and special guest Paula Abdul to celebrate the celebutard’s birthday..Â
Paula was supposed to sing “Happy Birthday” to Paris (geez, these people are frickin’ lame) but never got the chance. It seems Brandon was so drunk and obnoxious he started throwing flowers at Abdul and then tossing flower-holders at the American Idol judge. The always demure and dignified Abdul hung in there until he starting using some mock “arabic” accent and asking her to “lick his [flaccid peen]” and she finally left in a huff.
As if that wasn’t enough sophistication for you, Brandon then moved on to Courtney Love and started humping her while spewing “I want to squirt on you!” All under the observation of Courtney’s daughter Francis. I bet Kurt didn’t like that.
We’re told Paris finally broke down and kicked him out after bursting into tears, most likely screaming “boohoo, why do all my friends have to be such useless pieces of rotted raw sewage.” Or something like that. TMZ says the two must of patched things up, as they were seen together at an Oscar after-party.
I don’t often question my faith in God, but when I am forced to read this crap, it leaves me wondering. “Curse you Ebola, can’t you leave the poor villages of Africa alone and instead pop up in Paris Hilton’s crotch?” Wow, that might kill half of Hollywood come to think of it. Not the good half, but still.
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Someone has convinced this particularly vile and greasy twat that he is funny. Does he ever shut up? I think what is required is a forcible insertion of his flaccid and presumably greasy little peen into the source of the obscenities.
Comment by The Domestic Minx — February 26, 2007 @ 4:47 pm
Damn, don’t cross the Minx. You are hardcore!!!
Comment by dmdo1016 — February 26, 2007 @ 6:02 pm
While not quite as hard as I might sound, it’s entirely likely that I’m a good deal harder than the dirtbag in the story above…
Comment by The Domestic Minx — February 26, 2007 @ 6:37 pm
Poor Paris! Davis is crazy
http://www.philton.org
Comment by philton.org — February 27, 2007 @ 5:37 am
What a wonderful birthday it was!
Comment by professays — February 27, 2007 @ 8:21 am