Vinnie Barbarino Says Scientology Could Have Cured Anna Nicole
John Travolta, or as I like to call him “El Bloato” has chimed in on the Anna Nicole debacle by stating that Scientology could have cured Anna of her drug-addiction demons- which is iron-clad proof he is a full-time moron. Anna Nicole was the most addicted human being on the face of the planet.
I have not once seen video footage of her where she didn’t sound like a drunken mongoloid. I am not suggesting Anna wasn’t an eloquent, articulate and highly-educated person, of course she was. I am just saying that her brain was soaked in battery acid and her speech functions were limited- on camera at least. Maybe she was an adjunct professor of literature somewhere and I have just never heard about it.
More to the point, Scientology is to Hollywood what Osama Bin Laden is to terrorism- and by that I mean, well, actually come to think of it, I don’t really know what I mean. Scientology bad.
Here’s Travolta’s quote:
“It’s so sad.We could have helped her with Narconon but didn’t get a chance to. I wish we had.â€
That’s ridiculous. Steel fencing, razor-wire, rabid dogs and blazing demons couldn’t have kept Anna away from her happy pills. She lived to get high, and you know what, I don’t blame her. If I were surrounded by as many leeches, bloodsuckers and vampires as she was I would have bathed myself in red wine and sucked on the teet of Grey Goose.
Narconon, which sounds like a place for snitches and rat-fink bastards, is a front for stealing people’s money- like all of Scientology. Do I sound bitter? Well, yes, but if evil minions of Xenu hadn’t abducted me and forced me to make love to dozens of sweaty, muscular men I might be a Fulbright scholar today.
Plus, it obviously hasn’t cured John Travolta of his raging case of GAY yet. And until they do, I will continue to wage my one woman war against the forces of darkness and their sex enslavement.
Yep, that’s the story I am going with.
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Could she have been saved from the House of the Rising Dawn?
Comment by Matthew T. "Matt" Sussman — March 1, 2007 @ 9:20 pm
The Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn was a better fit. I don’t think she was driven off course by leeches. She chose that path. She laid the tracks for them to come to her. Then again, I’m a tight-ass and believe in stuff like self-restraint and accountability. I heard John Travolta is rooming with Tom Cruise and they share the same electric socket. I also heard they fought about who gets to use the blender. Can you verify this?
Comment by the commentator — March 1, 2007 @ 10:47 pm
Scientology is responsible for Battlefield Earth. If that isn’t enough to get Chertoff and HSA on the job, I shudder to think what fiendish horror will have to be unleashed to get them to act.
Comment by DJRadiohead — March 2, 2007 @ 12:24 am
Scientology in its very foundation is gay. And if offends me that they are soiling the good virtue of gay people. That is all.
Comment by dmdo1016 — March 2, 2007 @ 7:49 am
How come he didnt have this brain(?)wave when she was alive and stroking herself on awards shows? You’re telling me Anna fuckin’ Nicole would have turned down a chance to hang out with Tome Cruise? But no, didnt want her cooties near you when she was alive, did you?
Shut up and make out with Tom already.
Comment by Amrita — March 2, 2007 @ 9:20 am