GlossLip » Avril Lavigne: Voted Most Likely To Be Mauled By Wolves

03/20/2007 (11:22 am)

Avril Lavigne: Voted Most Likely To Be Mauled By Wolves

Poseur punker Avril Lavigne, seen performing at Captiol FM Concert in Scala, is showing why she was voted most likely to be eaten by wolves in her high school class. Apparently, the sound of Avril’s voice caused quite a stir in neighboring forests back in her native country of Canada. Wolves would often be seen teeth-bared, steam rising from their angry, gaping jaws, crouched on their hind quarters waiting to rip and tear at the throat of Avril each time the horrifying screech left her larynx. What an amazing phenomena.

I hear that’s why she was kicked out of the country. I wonder if the coyotes in the hills and valleys of Hollywood have the same reaction? Gosh, I sure hope so.

Image Source

Comments (4)

4 Comments

Fellow Canadian singer/songwriter Ember Swift wrote a song a few years ago about Avril and other like her. It’s called “14 & Fiery”:

she is 14 and fiery
wide-eyed and aware
soulful delivery, cute dreadlocked hair
and a voice that channels historical stages
and songs that hang loose in the air
she is contagious

I want to protect her like a big sister
there are bloodhounds and weasels
they’re sniffing at her, they are evil
they look for the well-formed but mouldable youth
they want the sweet faces
but the ones who don’t yet know their own truth
they want the ones whose voices channel historical stages
and songs that hang loose in the air
they want contagious

and even if they only find a little bit of it
they will gladly manufacture the rest
they only need a few key ingredients
for that sticky, sweet recipe of success
they are relentless
this is precious
she is precarious
we’ve got to hold her from the snakes

why don’t you leave her alone and let her grow up?
she needs schooling and heartbreak and parties and laughter
and more fodder for songs to hang loose in the air
it’s only profit you bastards are after!
beware

14 and fiery, she is 14 and fiery
but not quite as fiery as her wannabe big sister
beware

Comment by Anna — March 20, 2007 @ 3:46 pm

That’s creepy. Now she’s just annoying and sold out.

Comment by dmdo1016 — March 20, 2007 @ 8:13 pm

Maybe your just jealous because:

AVRIL LAVIGNE NOW HAS THE MOST NO. 1 TOP 40 HITS THIS DECADE, Source: BILLBOARD.COM

Avril Lavigne has ascended to a lofty pedestal: The 22-year-old now has the most No. 1 top 40 hits this decade at five and is the No. 2 artist in the 14-year history of Nielsen BDS, behind Mariah Carey’s six chart-toppers. â€”Chuck Taylor (Billboard.com)

It’s official – see weblink:
http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/content_display/reviews/singles/e3i6337374c02990aa382432d13494ab554

Comment by Chuck Taylor — August 11, 2007 @ 4:02 am