Winehouse to Lohan: Rehab’s Calling, Pick Up The Phone - What nerve!
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In today’s latest installment of Hollywood High School Musical, the frightening and grotesque Brit, Ms. Amy Winehouse, made famous for her gutteral groins about not going to rehab and being a raging drunk, is picking on the one startlet who actually DID go to rehab - not that it helped granted, but she should get an A for effort - America’s sweetheart Lindsay Lohan.Â
Lohan was recently seen purchasing a Winehouse CD, and Winehouse, whose star is rising thanks to a song called “Rehab,” recently told Giant magazine that she’s worried about Lohan. “I want to coddle that girl. I really want to hug her,” she said. She then goes on to poke a little fun at Lohan, adding that “I saw pictures of her coming out of the doctor’s [office], and she’s crying. She’s holding papers in her hand, like, ‘Oh, it’s a note from my liver saying, “Dear Lindsay, I’ve gone to Vegas!”
Of course Winehouse is British and in the UK they do things differently. Like instead of going to a club and sneaking off to the restroom to snort up a heaping line of coke with a rolled up dollar bill, they bust out a giant-sized mirror on the side of the street and get down on their hands and knees sucking coke up with papertowel rolls - all before they head out to pick up their montly assistance checks in the Dole queue.
Let’s take a look at some of their recent imports into the U.S: Pete Doherty, Kate Moss, Robbie Williams, George Michaels, and now Amy Winehouse who admits “she’s a terrible drunk” and reportedly spent $390 a week on marijuana. Jeebus, you know how much pot that is to smoke in one week? She must have been throwing bricks in the fireplace or something.
Not that I am sticking up for Lindsay, who we all know is both a whore and a flagrant substance abuser, but what’s with these British twits picking on our homegrown tabloid tartlets?  That cheeky Lily Allen’s been known to run her mouth too and quite honestly I think they all need to shut their gaping maws and show us some talent already.
And falling down drunk, puking in the gutter and wiping jizz off your face doesn’t count.
Photo credit - wireimage
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