The Alec Baldwin Voice Mail Scandal, He May Be Getting A Bad Rap
I am not going to defend Alec Baldwin’s reputation as a hot head, or his well-known anger-management issues. They are stuff of legend at this point. But I do feel the need to interject some perspective into this whole “threatening message to his daughter” nonsense.Â
As possibly the only celebrity gossip writer who is not only married, but has children AND step-children - I have seen first hand the complete and utter b.s that goes on between two otherwise reasonable people. Add some “unreasonable” people into the equation and it gets worse. Add self-absorbed, childish, pampered, self-entitled individuals in the mix and crap like the leaked voice mail message is going to happen.
My impression from listening to the message is clearly Alec is pissed. He feels taken advantage of and out of the loop. He’s dealing with his child filtered through the manipulation of her mother. I am not trying to bad-mouth Kim Basinger or his daughter Ireland. I have no idea what goes on within this trifecta of broken hearts, but from what I have read Kim and Alec have not handled their divorce with respect for one another and for her to leak that tape to the media — what a completely twisted and deceitful thing to do. And, if the tables were turned, Alec might have done the same thing to her. These two people hate each other and are putting their daughter in the middle.Â
But this doesn’t mean that Alec should have his visitation rights revoked. Nowhere within that message did I get the impression that he doesn’t love his daughter. Unless you have been in this situation - you can’t imagine the level of frustration a parent feels when they know they are being maligned by the other, and separated unduly. Plus, let’s face it, these are Hollywood A-holes - a whole new level of attitude we mere pedestrians couldn’t hope to comprehend.
I feel sorry for Alec. His entire personality has been changed since the beginning of this divorce, he is an angry guy. But I stand by my assertion that he loves his daughter, probably very much. I won’t defend what he said, it was grossly inappropriate, but in the heat of anger parents often say things they don’t feel or mean, and children do the same. The parent/child bond that we see on T.V. isn’t the reality of what happens in real life. Parents and children say awful things to each other. Why? Because the feelings are deep, the emotions are raw. Add the pain and frustration of divorce and that’s a toxic cocktail of feelings.
So before we rush to judgment, let’s try to be open-minded. Two things are obvious that make him better than lots of Hollywood parents. He doesn’t kiss his kid’s butt and let them run rough-shod, and he is committed to staying involved. Think about all the celebrity dads who don’t even bother to acknowledge their kids, let alone remain in their lives.Â
Personally we need more tough love in Hollywood (and the rest of the world for that matter), or we can expect an entire generation of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears’ taking over the world. The horror!
Update:Â There have been some statements issued from both sides up on TMZ:
Baldwin’s lawyer, Vicki Greene, told TMZ, “Whatever happened yesterday was sealed and confidential. What you’re telling me you’ve got you shouldn’t have.”
Basinger’s publicist,Annette Wolfe, told TMZ: “The voicemail speaks for itself.”
 A friend of Alec Baldwin’s:  just contacted TMZ to say that the actor called Ireland last week and apologized for his outburst. The friend added that Ireland is the most important thing in the world to Alec and that he is frustrated because over the last six years, Kim has “tried everything” to alienate Ireland from him.
Alec Baldwin’s spokesperson: Â released the following statement to the TV show “EXTRA”: “In the best interest of the child, Alec will do what the mother is pathologically incapable of doing … keeping his mouth shut and obeying the court order. The mother and her lawyer leaked this sealed material in violation of a court order. Although Alec acknowledges that he should have used different language in parenting his child, everyone who knows him privately knows what he has been put through for the past six years.”
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Wo, wo, WO! Are you saying Hollywood couples can breakup? Man, you really need to wake up and join the real world.
Comment by the commentator — April 20, 2007 @ 8:01 am
Hollywood is full of many mysteries my friend.
Comment by dmdo1016 — April 20, 2007 @ 8:16 am
I don’t doubt that situation can be beyond frustrating, but if you were his daughter, how would you feel if he called you a pig? How about not being sure of your age? And telling her he was going to get on a plane ’straighten her ass out’ and then get back on the plane. I would be scared sh*tless!
Comment by Katey2 — April 20, 2007 @ 8:16 am
Who knows the dynamic of what their relationship is. Alec isn’t a butt-kissing kind of dad, and calling her a rude pig isn’t nice. But I’ve heard worse come out of perfectly good parent’s mouth. I call my daughter a rude brat whenever she is one.
I don’t feel good about it, but I don’t feel good that she’s being a rude brat either. Kid’s can be really difficult to deal with. His rant was childish, but not worth losing his kid over. I mean come on.
Meth addicted parents get to keep their kids all the time, even after endangering their lives and treating them like crap. Should Alec be given the same opportunity as a meth-head?
Comment by dmdo1016 — April 20, 2007 @ 8:22 am
What sort of Mr. Roger’s Family Ties household did people grow up in that they can go around saying Alex’s yelling was abusive. He’s a father upset at his child, and for probably good reason. Am I the only one on the Internet who got yelled at for disobeying my parents? Golly… I must have been abused. I came home late one night and got yelled at. Also that time I had bad grades… wow…. I gotta call a lawyer quick to sue!!
Comment by Me — April 20, 2007 @ 10:53 am
No, I got yelled at plenty. I also know really great dads who would have no problem with this rant.
This country is full of pampered whiners.
Comment by dmdo1016 — April 20, 2007 @ 11:02 am
Ok, you’ve got to stop writing things I agree with. It’s freaking me out. Seriously.
Comment by Amrita — April 20, 2007 @ 11:22 am
I thought you were going to france with Barbra Strisand afterPres.Bush won the first time. And you wonder why no one take you cerial. Mike Jackson one of the best basket ball players ever could not help V.P. Gore com
Comment by John Ewin van der Willigen — April 20, 2007 @ 11:23 am
This is a private family matter which, unfortunately, one parent has decided to “make public”. I do not believe anyone has a right to judge Alec in this situation. He is obviously a concerned and very upset father. When a was a ‘tween I’m sure I did plenty of things to evoke similar comments from my dad.
Whether or not it was ‘leaked’ by the child’s mother, TMZ is just utterly tasteless for publishing this sort of material. Photographs, lawsuits, and other “public” information is one thing. The private voice-mail from a father to his daughter is entirely another.
Comment by Keith — April 20, 2007 @ 11:27 am
Sorry Amrita, I don’t mean too.
And Keith I agree with you completely. Divorce should remain between the two people. Period.
Comment by dmdo1016 — April 20, 2007 @ 11:33 am
Not sure I agree with you. As the child of an extremely acrimonious divorce, I have been damaged for life by the experience. I was just a little bit older than Ireland at the time and it has been the single most defining moment in my life. Even though my mother got custody, she was so angry and bitter at my father for leaving her that she not only tried to stop him from seeing my sister and me, she vented all her frustrations on us. There was a lot of verbal and physical abuse. It hurt and it still does. When I listened to that recording and the menacing tone in Baldwin’s voice, I got chills. No father should ever, ever, ever call his child a “pig” and threaten to “straighten out your ass”. Take it from one who knows.
Comment by imnotacatlady — April 20, 2007 @ 12:11 pm
I agree with you wholeheartedly. Alec’s got his problems, but we all do. Who are we to say his daughter isn’t really a pig anyway? Am I right ladies? Yes I am.
Comment by tom — April 20, 2007 @ 12:36 pm
Right and no mother should publicly air such dirty laundry and humiliate their child for personal gain. Play it for the lawyers, play it for the judge, but don’t play it in the court of opinion.
Shame on her.
Comment by dmdo1016 — April 20, 2007 @ 12:37 pm
“As a child of acrimonious divorce”- have you considered that your parents might have gotten divorced because of something you did? Think about it.
Comment by tom — April 20, 2007 @ 12:37 pm
Tom, you are a moron.
Comment by dmdo1016 — April 20, 2007 @ 12:40 pm
Alec is just another A.W.L that took it out on his daughter. If he is mad at Kim, that should have been the person to talk to.
Comment by Me — April 20, 2007 @ 1:59 pm
Thank you dmdo1016. I love your site, one of the few places with interesting perspectives and decent discussions, morons like Tom notwithstanding.
Comment by imnotacatlady — April 20, 2007 @ 1:59 pm
I agree with most of the comments up here (including the one about Tom). I don’t think he should of lost his visitation rights. I’m a mom of 2 boys and there are times where I have to send my kids to their rooms after some of the things they have done because I’m so angry. Now add to that He was on the phone not in person. I mean come on..he’s venting!! He shouldn’t of called her a pig. He could of really handled he whole thing better, but to lose his visitation. They could of at least made it supervised visitation.
Comment by Kelly — April 20, 2007 @ 2:44 pm
Alec Baldwin should have had his emotions in check and not verbally abused his daughter but Kim is also to blame. He has court ordered phone visits with his child and it should not be violated. I aso think that since they absolutely hate each other the verbal abuse is from both of them, only one got caught. I think that Ireland is in a no win situation. She probably get yelled at if answers or don’t answer the phone. The court should have awarded custody to her grandparents til her own parents could get their act together. When you have hate at this level having one parent with more power and control only make it worse.
Comment by Dorothy — April 20, 2007 @ 2:57 pm
On the outside, we don’t know the reality of the situation. Calling a child a pig is harsh of course, and i’m sure he regrets it like hell. But as a member of a mixed family i understand the games that can go on and how an ex can manipulate a situation beyond belief. When he said he was flying in to “straighten her out” i couldn’t help but think that was something my own loving dad would have said. Again, he’s wrong to call her a pig, but let’s not get on a high horse and judge him for being mad as hell. It sounds like he’s been dragged through the mud already. You have to wonder how sensitive and balanced his ex wife is to allow this tape to get out to the entire world. Now her daughter will be further humiliated. Who wants to be scolded by their parent on Entertainment Tonight, the local news, and every gossip column in America?
Comment by jane — April 20, 2007 @ 3:07 pm
“Think about all the celebrity dads who don’t even bother to acknowledge their kids, let alone remain in their lives.”
Amen. If he didn’t care about her at all, he could have walked away and nobody would have said a word.
I would hate to have the things I’ve said to my children broadcast on the Web, especially because you wouldn’t have seen the times I’ve shown great love for my kids.
Comment by Bill Peschel — April 20, 2007 @ 3:15 pm
For people who admit to calling their kids brats:
You raised them. You are the only one responsible for their behavior. You’ve taught them to be brats and now you’ve taught them to call people names. Great, really. Thanks for your contribution to society.
Comment by Kim — April 20, 2007 @ 3:16 pm
Kim, you too are an enormous moronic nitwit. Children, like everyone else, have moments where they don’t live up to their potential.
Being a brat, is part of being a kid and learning to control yourself.
I call them like I see them. For example, you are an enormous moronic idiot. There’s my contribution.
Comment by dmdo1016 — April 20, 2007 @ 3:49 pm
No father should talk to his child in that manner, married or divorced, period.
One has to wonder about the time line of the events. If indeed he was poking fun of his daughter on national T.V. moments before he made the call, why on earth would she take his call?
Alec Baldwin apparently has a very low self-esteem. Too bad he feels compelled to inflate his self-worth at the expense of his daughter. He is a very sad case.
Comment by Tim — April 20, 2007 @ 4:00 pm
Tim, I have to disagree with the poking fun at his daughter bit. To me that implies maliciousness. I used to dance and sing in public and my parents found it, bless their hearts, adorable. They would, and still do, tell the stories, because they think that others will find it precious as well. My mom would start with “isn’t this cute..,” my dad, well, his delivery was/is much more like Alec’s.
Comment by Contrary — April 20, 2007 @ 4:36 pm
Baldwin is a violent out of control piece of crap. Keep him away from ALL children and all firearms.
Comment by Baldwin is Dangerously out of control — April 20, 2007 @ 5:12 pm
Contrary, did your parents do the “isn’t this cute…” routine on national television? I would hope not.
I would think that if you could step back into time to when you were 11 you might very well feel differently. Again, if the time line is indeed accurate, I can understand why she opted not to take the call.
One would think that an adult would have taken that into consideration. However, it appears in this case, Alec Baldwin was more concerned with his feelings rather than those of his daughter. A very sad case indeed.
Comment by Tim — April 20, 2007 @ 5:17 pm
I agree with some of the comments above and the post has lessened my anger a little bit towards Alec, however, having said that… there is just no justifiable reason he should have ever made those comments to his daughter.
Firstly, so many comments left assume that the daughter had done something wrong. Even if she had, degrading her, putting her down, calling her names isn’t the way to handle it. I’ve been frustrated with my own kids but you can’t rip their self-esteem apart. Who knows, maybe the phone battery was dead?
Her parents are going through a divorce and she’s been in the middle for so long (half her life basically) and I’m sure her existence in a broken home before the split wasn’t great either. Her father is the first man in her life that should love her with her best interests at heart. He is the example of what she will expect from the men in her life. He is 1 of 2 people in the entire world that should love her no matter what and be her soft place to fall. Does that mean he can never get angry with her? No, it just means that he has no right to tear down the core of who she is and is becoming.
Do I think he should have visitations taken away? No because he needs time to help mend this. He may be very frustrated with his ex-wife and it may be totally justified, but Ireland did not ask to be born into that family, that situation or their hostilities. If he couldn’t have held it together, he should have just hung up the phone.
Comment by Jennah — April 20, 2007 @ 9:05 pm
Any attempt to justify what Baldwin did is pathetic. I am sure that being caught in this kind of custody battle would be a certain kind of hell that non one should wish on their worst enemy. For that he has my sympathy, but that does not excuse his abuse of his daughter. If Bassinger is manipulating the situation to hurt him, then he should direct his anger at her, not at an eleven year old child. Baldwin is a sanctimonious, hate-filled, Hollywood liberal who lacks to moral standing to criticize others.
Comment by JJ — April 20, 2007 @ 9:30 pm
It’s kind of hard to believe that anyone could actually be defending Alec Baldwin after hearing that tape. I understand that everyone loses their temper with their kids once in awhile, but the way he demeaned his own child like that is completely inexcusable. I feel sorry for all of you who were raised in an environment that makes you think that this is acceptable parenting or “tough love.” Please. There is nothing more going on in that phone message than abusive bullying in it’s lowest form, and I find it reprehensible and very disturbing. The most important, most defining relationship for a female is the one she has with her father, and this kind of degradation and verbal abuse from someone who should be her champion and protector is so damaging to the self esteem of any child. Her future relationships with men may be equally or even more abusive, and she will most certainly have trust and/or self worth issues if this is the way her father interacts with her. Very sad, I think.
As someone else mentioned, despite whatever the circumstances have been throughought the divorce, he is the adult and she is the child. Nothing that has happened in the past 6 yrs has been her fault. In fact, as in most unhealthy relationships, the blame most certainly lies at least 50% with him, as it does take two people to carry on such a relationship. If this is the way he has spoken to his wife, then that percentage becomes significantly higher. I’m sorry to burst all your little “Alec’s a good dad” bubbles, but children are not so easily manipulated by bitter parents as you might think. They inherently know if they feel safe, secure and loved by a parent, no matter how hateful and manipluative the other may parent may be. His relationship, or lack of relationship with his daughter is entirely of his own doing, and blaming Kim Basinger, Ireland or anyone but himself for his own behavior just proves that he has very weak character and doesn’t accept responsibility for his own actions.
Just to make this rant even longer and more annoying to you Alec fans, how do you even know that Kim is the one responsible for leaking the tape? I’m sure there were plenty of people who had access to it and would have been generously compensated for providing such a juicy morsel to the ravenous media. He’s just upset because his true character (or lack there of) has been illuminated for all to see. He needs to take some parenting and anger management classes, stop whining and be a man. Grow up Alec.
Comment by Tracy — April 20, 2007 @ 11:04 pm
what the hell? So once you become a parent you’re supposed to become some sort of saint? box up all your emotions and file them neatly away so you end up “counseling” your children in the name of parenting? Right. I’d roll my eyes but they’re too busy spinning
Comment by Amrita — April 21, 2007 @ 12:19 am
No, not a saint. Just an adult. No one is perfect, but there’s a huge difference between discipline and abuse, maybe if your eyes weren’t so busy spinning you’d be able to see that.
Comment by Tracy — April 21, 2007 @ 12:30 am
This is awful. The parents need to straighten themselves out on this one and Ireland needs to watch herself from now on, so that her dad won’t be able to call her a Pig.
Comment by Marcian — April 21, 2007 @ 1:25 am
America has become way too soft. Everyone yelled at their kids 30 years ago. How many of us now can look back and say they were “abused” because your parents called you an idiot when you acted like one. Young people today are so fragile, that there is not much hope for them surviving.
Comment by hopnem — April 21, 2007 @ 8:11 am
Alec may not realize that his daughter may be afraid
of his temper and chose not to take his call on her
own. Remember when we were young and afraid of parents
and teachers etc? Alec is known for his terrible temper
that is the reason for their divorce.. he did not go
to anger management.. Kim may be protecting her daughter
from his anger. My cousin’s dad was just like Alec,
when he was 13, his dad smacked him so hard he fell
through a plate glass door and was badley injured..his
father was an upstanding successful businessman.. my
cousin wound up a cocain addict just like Ryan O’neal’s kids and his bad temper. I would be afraid
of a guy like that as a father.. his idea of loving
his child is abusive, he was abusive of Kim and she
did not want that for her child and divorced him.
I am glad the tapes were shown.. the most important
person in all this is the daughter who the judge should ask.. do you want to speak to your father on
the phone or not? I bet its a resounding no.
Julia Thin
Comment by Julia Thin — April 21, 2007 @ 8:29 am
i agree kids are hard to handle some times and parents do say things thet regert.Iam a parent myself and have yelled at my kids and said things that i feel bad about.I feel bad for the little girl to its now played all over the world that would be hard on me to know everyone knows your privite life.And putting the child in the middle of this is wrong.I just hope everything works out for all of them.
Comment by lisa — April 21, 2007 @ 8:39 am
Amazing! 30 plus comments and not one that even suggest that Ms. Basinger might be the abusive parent here. As several of your comments have stated a girl’s most important relationship with a man is that of a daughter and her father. For her to constantly try to keep her daughter from having contact with her father is in my view abusive.
My daughter (now 26) is my best friend… but, I would hate to have many, many of the things that we have said to each other over the years made public… and done so out of context.
It seems to me that Mr. Baldwin is trying to be a good father here but, is not able to because of the hatred that he and Kim have for each other.
Comment by Bert — April 21, 2007 @ 10:57 am
Have you lost your mind? If I lived near you, I would petition the court to have your children taken away from you if you think Mr. Baldwin’s behavior was ok. That son of a bitch in West Virginia had that kind of temper. Do you sympathize with him, as well. Jesus, the girl is only 11.
Comment by steve — April 22, 2007 @ 9:10 am
Three words: parental alienation syndrome. Please take some time to Google it and read up before you judge Baldwin so harshly. If I had not seen this happen to a family I know, I would not have believed it possible. The alienating parent (usually but not always the Mom) rewards the kid for atrocious behavior towards the other parent, pushing that parent to an outburst that the alienating parent then uses to justify keeping the kid away from him or her — either through a court order, or by the kid refusing to see the alienated parent. It is insidious and abusive. I’d put money on that being the situation here…
Comment by DeAnn — April 22, 2007 @ 8:01 pm
First of all, imagine that you are a child again.
Think back to when
your parents grounded you, or took away the car keys, or didn’t let
you go to the mall. Think of how mad that made you. Think back to
when you really wanted that new pair of Girbauds, but you didn’t get
them because you were being a brat. I know that on more than one
occasion, I called my dad an “asshole”, a “jerk”, and told him that I
“hated him”. Now these are all terrible things to say to someone, and
I felt terrible afterwards. But did that mean that I didn’t love my
dad? Absolutley not. I love my Dad more than anything in this
world. Did it mean that I should not be allowed to see my father
again for being a bad child? No. He is my best friend, and those
things were just said out of anger, and frustration. Everyone on
this planet has said something to someone that they regreted saying.
Every parent has went too far. No one is perfect. Everyone is so
fast to point the finger, or to say that Alec Baldwin is a bad
parent. The man is obviously at his wit’s end, and I am sure feels
terrbile for what he said. Why isn’t the media talking about what a
sick, twisted, and manipulative thing Kim did by realeasing that
tape? How she BROKE the LAW in doing so? She should loose HER
visitation rights for using her own daughter in such a way. For
embarrasing her, and alienating her. And as far as him saying he was
going to “straighten her out”, big deal, that’s what parents do. Kids
need to be straightened out all the time. If I had a nickel for
everytime my dad had to straighten me out I’d be a rich man. And who
know’s what kind of a kid Ireland is. She could be hell on wheels as
far as anybody knows. Cut the guy a break.
Comment by Chandos Schultz — April 23, 2007 @ 11:08 am
Though no one knows what really happen with this couple. It’s safe to say they’re both wrong and the person who suffers the most is the daughter. He was wrong and immature for saying what he did to his daughter. His ex wife was wrong and selfish for leaking the tape out to the public. Neither of them are thinking about their daughter. Their anger cloud their judgement and they can only think about themselves. The child should be with a responsible, caring relative until these 2 people get some therapy for their personal issues and their issues with one another. Both parents are at fault here, it’s sad they have to drag their daughter into this whole mess.
Comment by Ling — April 23, 2007 @ 3:33 pm
Why make a big deal about nothing? This kid is rich and has very little to worry about. You know she will get the best of everything … from the clothes she wears, to the car she will drive, to the education she will get. It will be first class all the way. Don’t have to feel sorry for her she will survive. In other places in this world bombs are exploding overhead and girls have to sell their body just to survive. So is it a really big deal if your are called a “nappy headed ho” or “thoughtless little pig” … NO BIG DEAL!
Comment by LuckyYouLiveInTheUSA — April 27, 2007 @ 4:33 am
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