Jessica’s Dad Joe Simpson Wants A Shot At The New, Slimmed Down Britney Spears
Insiders (Rush and Molloy) are reporting that Jessica Simpson’s dad wants to take a crack at re-inventing the troubled popstar Britney Spears.
According to an inside source, Joe Simpson is considering managing Spears’ career, or what’s left of it, just as he has done for Jessica and her sister, Ashlee. The former Baptist minister even tried to set up a meeting over the weekend with Spears, our source attests - though Jessica’s rep Cindi Berger denies it.
Seeing as how he’s done such a great job with his daughters Jessica and Ashlee, sure, why not. Go for it dude. Maybe you can hook her up with that other kid you were helping, Lane Garrison. You know the one who went on a coke and alchohol bender with some underage kids and killed one in a car crash. Yeah, Joe, you are a freaking genius of epic proportions.
Let’s see:
You ruined Jessica’s marriage to Nick Lachey by foisting them into the spotlight at the beginning of their marital life. How did that turn out? Oh yeah, in divorce with both their lives in shambles. The good news is, Nick, perhaps the most mediocre singer on the planet had a hit album. What about Jessica? Wait, her album was a flop, but she’s dating modern day crooner John Mayer and has turned super-fug.
You advised Ashlee to lip-synch on live TV and almost completely destroyed her career in the process. Please tell me you didn’t have anything to do with this whole Pete Wentz thing? Because nothing says, “I’m a hot young starlet” like dating a guy who admits to being a makeout bandit with guys. Wow, that’s what I call a ringing endorsement.
And now, you want to help Britney Spears back on her road to stardom? She’d have a better chance with Rasputin running her career and getting styling tips from Marilyn Manson. No, seriously, that’s a good idea. Get Rasputin on the horn.
Joe, sit down, shut up, go away and keep to leching on your own daughters you creepy egomanical loon. Britney can handle ruining her career all by herself, she doesn’t need you accelerating the process.
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