Spider-Man 3 Gets Ripped A New One
Holy Tapdancing Saints In The Cathedral! Spider-Man 3, which opens nationwide in theaters tomorrow, is getting the chronic beatdown by the critics. Radar Online has a whole big list of not-so-nice reviews of the third Sam Raimi installment in the extremely popular Spider-Man film series. Here’s a couple of my favorites from Radar:
Rope of Silicone: “Spider-Man 3 presents a world where people come into rooms, make heartfelt speeches, and then exit for no apparent reason while the other person looks off into the distance. It’s all a wacky attempt at Steel Magnolias (with webs) and it comes off as fully contrived.”
Dallas Observer: “It all just feels so … Fantastic Four, so dopey and forgettable and crafted out of second-rate cheese.”
Well, I actually liked Fantastic Four, but it was cheesy. Here’s a few others I found on Rotten Tomatoes, which in all fairness has some nice reviews about the movie as well:
FilmsInReview: A disappointment. Spidey keeps his mask off and weeps. Everyone cries. I hated the silly monolith sad sack Sandman. Did Dunst’s contract stipulate she sing two songs?
Slant Magazine: Is this Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 3 or Aaron Spelling’s?
Here’s the thing, this film (and those like it) are about comic-book heroes. Most of which base their superhero powers around the same contrived premise: gamma rays gone right. In reality, gamma rays go wrong, usually leading to strange cancerous growths and the eventual death - so really - let’s not be too harsh on Spidey. Even if it sucks out loud, which I doubt it does, it will still kick ass at the box office. Why? Because we’re all kids at heart and superheroes are cool - and none are cooler than Spider-Man.The merchandising alone will make millions. My son has every freaking Spider-Man action figure and supplement toy that they could squeeze out of that franchise.
And let’s face it, movie critics are a bunch of uptight, snotty, sneering d-bags anyway. Every time they say something sucks, I usually like it.
Of course, I might have really crappy taste in movies. In fact, that’s a distinct possibility!
Update:Â Blogcritics has some sweet stories and reviews as well.
From the Cleveland Spider-Man 3 set, a star in the making, sort of. And of course, our very own review from BC Critic, TV and Film Guy:
…And that is the real problem with the movie. The Harry Osborn/Peter Parker story could be a full movie, the Flint Marko/Peter Parker story could be a full movie, the Peter Parker/Venom story could be a full movie. Yet, here they all are, rolled up into one huge, overstuffed film. There is too much happening and not enough time to really explore it all.
Go read the whole review - it’s a much more well-balanced approach to the film as a whole. And for the record, TV and Film Guy is neither sneering, snotty or uptight — and definitely not a d-bag.
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Seems like it is beginning to suffer from the batman syndrome. Progressing from one good guy vs. one bad guy to one good guy vs. two bad guys to Arnold Schwarzenneger as Mr Freeze.
Comment by martin gehrke — May 3, 2007 @ 5:06 pm
[...] HIs Birthday - Into Gossip Michael Jordan & Tiger Woods Smackin Some Golf Balls - Juicy News Spider-Man 3 Not As Good As We Thought It Would Be? - Glosslip Tommy Lee Wants To Buy An Island For Pam - [...]
Pingback by poponthepop.com — May 3, 2007 @ 6:17 pm
I’m one of three people who didn’t like the first two, and will be dragged to see the third one anyway. I’m not sure what this does for my level of anticipation, but it probably didn’t help.
Comment by Josh — May 3, 2007 @ 7:52 pm
The movie never matches the comics. In Japan we have the Japanese manga version of Spiderman where our Peter Parker (Komori Yu) is a much darker and more repressed character. The movie opened in Tokyo first but I would have liked to have seen a movie based on the Japanese manga version
http://japansugoi.com/wordpress/cool-japanese-manga-version-of-spiderman/
Comment by shingo — May 6, 2007 @ 9:40 am
[...] critics have been panning the film for a variety of failures, including an all too emotional cast with everyone shedding a tear [...]
Pingback by GlossLip » Spider-Man 3: Sorting The Character Facts From The Silver Screen Fiction — May 7, 2007 @ 3:06 pm
I found this film utterly painful to watch. I tried my best to dissect it in this article: http://www.debonairmag.com/the_death_of_spiderman.htm
Comment by John — May 8, 2007 @ 5:26 pm