The World Reacts To Paris Hilton’s Jail Sentence
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News has spread like a virus throughout the internet that our beloved Paris Hilton was sentenced to 45 days in county jail. While we console ourselves with this tragic outcome and the feelings of hopelessness that will slowly begin to fester in our hearts, I decided that I as citizen journalist, would share some of the responses from the public to this shocking news.Â
*cue the National Anthem*Â
“Like the great Alan Lomax, and the folklorists of yore who went out into the masses after such epic tragedies like the bombing at Pearl Harbor, and more recently September 11 — I too wish to capture the unfiltered and raw emotions as we react to this historic moment in time. It is my hope to preserve this memory for generations to come, so that they will see what the past has wrought and may correct for the betterment of humanity as a whole.”
*bullsh*t*, *cough**
Funkoniya said:Â Everytime a herpes spreading, attention whore goes to jail and angel gets its wings. Bravo, Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer, bravo. Posted on May 4, 2007 07:50 PM
edb87said: This is the best news since Jesus. Although I would have preferred he gave her 1,000 hours of community service. Could you imagine her picking up trash on the side of the highway? I’d drive all the way out to California to throw some McDonald’s at her.
The county should make it ok for men to stop by the jail and dry hump her and slap the back of her head all day, every day.
Tiger_Tanaka says: Eliot Mintz rigged the whole thing so he could get a freakin’ VACATION from these people. Genius.
Radar Online has some advice for Paris from ex-con Heidi Fleiss - here’s my favorite quote on Paris defending herself:
“I was playing bridge once with two white girls—these were hardcore white girls. They didn’t fuck around—and one of them goes: ‘Heidi, it doesn’t matter how big they are, you hit them hard and first and as fast as you can.’ And that night, I had a nightmare that I killed someone with a shovel. But that was the advice I got. Paris, though, she’s a likable girl. She’ll have no problem at all.”
And so there you have it. One of those rare moments in pop culture history where we all come together for a common purpose - to celebrate the downfall of an icon. An icon of gluttony, who will now be forced on some level to reconnect with the world she infects, er, affects with her slavish commitment to mediocrity – and her pointless pursuit of fame for fame’s sake.
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[...] really eerie about this whole business is how it’s barely news. I mean, Alec Baldwin yelled at his kid and the world exploded. Paris Hilton got sent to jail and [...]
Pingback by Paris Hilton: The Jail Life « IndieQuill — May 5, 2007 @ 11:51 am
There are multiple drunk drivers who’ve never seen the inside of a jail.
This judge is putting her in jail because she’s an arrogant airhead.
And you all are applauding. Hope yu think it’s funny when it happens to you.
Comment by Bill — May 5, 2007 @ 12:21 pm
She’s not going to jail just for drunk driving. She had other violations… and for that.. .many people would end up in jail.
Comment by Blah — May 5, 2007 @ 12:59 pm
I am hardly applauding, merely chronicling the event for ages to come. I surely do not hope it happens to me, nor do I think it’s funny. But it’s hardly surprising that people would react the wa they have considering Paris’ reputation - something she created herself.
Comment by dmdo1016 — May 5, 2007 @ 1:16 pm
There is a list of things she is in violation of. On top of all this she was 10 mins late to court. Have you ever been late to court? Many times they won’t even let you in the freakin’ door to the court room.
Comment by I Love Paris — May 5, 2007 @ 1:35 pm
Oh Poooh, Paris must go to Jail..
No Shit, she should just take her punishment and be glad that she atleast is segregated from the general population.
That excuse she came up with doesn’t fly.. And luckily the judge who sentenced her was sensible enough to see past that poor and lame blonde excuse.
Comment by Charles Bukowski — May 5, 2007 @ 2:58 pm
This site has kind of a smart ass attitude. I would not advertise here…
Comment by James — May 5, 2007 @ 3:05 pm
This site is run by a straight up smart ass WITH an attitude and I wouldn’t have your advertisement jackhole.
Comment by dmdo1016 — May 5, 2007 @ 3:16 pm
Poor rich BITCH Paris got WHAT ????? not even a slap on the wrist !! stars act like they are better than the people who are stupid enough to keep her in the money well if that makes her better than me, ? then I don’t want to be that classy (* ewwww ) or rich like that!!!!!
Comment by Christi Dilbeck — May 5, 2007 @ 3:45 pm
You see? God exists!!! Now lets hope that she stays there for entire life!
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Comment by Luciano — May 5, 2007 @ 4:12 pm
Oh good…now I can rest assured that i don’t have to walk into another Paris Hilton and possee infected party for a while. She is a terrible role model, a disrepectful human being and she needs to be taught the value of life a little bit. This might do her good.
Comment by Alexa — May 5, 2007 @ 5:56 pm
Well.. the sentence is justified and it would surprise me a lot if she didn’t get a jailsentence.. After all, she did drive without her license,after she had already been given a 3 years probation for DUI and had her license revoked henceforth.
She chose to be absolutely stupid about this, and now she pays for her stupidity.. every action has their reactions, and that also goes for rich spoiled socialites like Paris Hilton.
Comment by Charles Bukowski — May 6, 2007 @ 3:42 am
i hope she realizes now how much hatred is around here are we all jelous of what she became without being able to do anything?of course!is it fair she go to jail?of course becauseif it would have happened tp us we were n jail already!stop focusing on yourself and do some charity work
Comment by flavio — May 6, 2007 @ 4:39 am
Losers… all.
Comment by Loser — May 6, 2007 @ 11:23 am
I can’t believe I am writing about Paris Hiton. She sure is cute. If I were the judge, I would have given her that thing she last signed. The one where the state trooper makes sure she knows her license is suspended. I wonder, did he let her drive home on a suspended license or what? Anyway, make her read it in court. Maybe she can’t read too good. Maybe she can’t read beyond, oh, 4th grade reading level. And if I were the judge, I would have asked what she did yesterday if she is so busy. And why she was late 20 minutes to court? Probably had to buy a new pair of shoes. Traveling shoes? Nice site. Oh, for the last post. Sure we are all losers. No ones gets out alive. In the end, we’re all dead but thanks for the commentary.
Comment by Name (required) — May 6, 2007 @ 1:30 pm
Aw, you left out my favorite comment regarding this news, straight from IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com:
This is great news, but 45 days really isn’t a lot. That’s just a little over a month. After that we’ll be hearing about her stupid, spoiled ass again. Besides, you know that they’ll stick her in her own personal, private cell away from the teeming masses.
Comment by Kaonashi — May 6, 2007 @ 5:57 pm
Maybe it’s just 45 days for us, But for the spoiled Hilton it sure will feel like ten times as much, Kaonashi:)
She’s such a drama queen. And besides, she’s not that hot.
Comment by Charles Bukowski — May 7, 2007 @ 4:10 am
i hope she thinks about why the heck shes there but hey she a spoiled lil bitch
Comment by christina — June 2, 2007 @ 5:50 pm
she is such a wanna be but hey when your rich and blonde u turn into a bitch
Comment by christina — June 2, 2007 @ 5:51 pm
I think that its pretty sad, I mean she should at least get her own cell, she’s a public figure, (dare I say icon) and she should be at least protected from people who might think to attack her to make a name for themselves.
I’m sad that its happening, she shouldn’t have to go jail.
I think that its childish and moronic to be happy cause someone is suffering. Didn’t you guys SEE the picture of her crying.???
Comment by gwyn_xox — June 3, 2007 @ 2:29 pm
Waaa! She was crying? Crocodile tears because she didn’t get her way. You can’t be that stupid to think you can go against your probation. It’s probation. I’m sure things were clearly spelled out. If she couldn’t understand it, well, she’s getting what she deserves. Nothing in her world is taken seriously. I think she should’ve gotten more time. If it were a regular joe what would it be like but no, she’s who she is so she gets “special” treatment. Her mother who got so angry in court?!! Take a good hard look at your daughter!!! Holy cow she needs this and more to humble her ass out.
Comment by ellie — June 5, 2007 @ 9:34 am