A Star-Studded “King Of Fashion” At The Metropolitan Museum Gala: Hits And Misses Of The Night
Sophistication, beauty and an eye for fashion. Stars are supposed to have these qualities, and they pay good money for people to create this mystique for them, in some cases, they are NOT getting their money’s worth. Here’s a sampling of what went down at the Poiret: King of Fashion Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
The Worst Of Them All: Jessica Simpson.
This young woman has zero sophistication. Not an ounce. It’s like she gets her sense of femininity and class straight out of Hustler. Her stance, her pose, her makeup SCREAM whore. I am sure she is nice, but seriously someone help a girl out. Also, I HATE her hair color. It’s awful and the tan, excruciating. She’s just an absolute nightmare. Teach her the art of “demure” please. Where the F is Henry Higgins when you need him?!
Linebacker Award Goes To: Brook Shields
I like Brooke. Back in the day Blue Lagoon and Endless Love were the BOMB. But she needs to tweeze those damn caterpillars she’s got creeping across her face. Soften it up. Also, square neckline with cap sleeves? Jeebus, that rarely looks good on anyone, but certainly not someone as “big-boned” as Brooke. V-neck for crying out loud, you’re a woman, not a half-back.
Awkward Pose Award: Christina Ricci
Christina Ricci is a gorgeous creature, all three feet and 85 pounds of her. And while I applaud her covering up her five-head, I actually think she looks much prettier withOUT bangs, and perhaps lighter hair. Highlights maybe to soften it up a bit. Why she’s standing like she’s got a cramp in her buttmuscle I don’t know, but it looks weird and painful. She’s having an off-night I guess.
Most Likely To Shatter A Camera Award: Hilary Swank and Donatella Versace
There is no good reason these two should ever be standing next one another. One grazes on carrots and apples, the other on cigarettes and vodka. The only thing these two have in common is their uncanny ability to scare the piss out of a person. I didn’t even know zombies and centaurs were invited to gala events.
Scarlett Strikes Out. The otherwise beautiful Scarlett Johansson is not up to par in this outfit, and again, what’s with the stance? Ladies, you aren’t laying a damn egg, you are posing for the cameras. It’s ok ScarJo, you’ll work it out.
Rose McGowan is channeling her inner Joan Crawford. At age 60. Her face gives me a migraine.
Kate Spade: Shoes and handbags A++++, this outfit a Z- plus a karate chop to the larynx. Seriously, stay home if you this is your idea of dressing up for a gala, you ass.
And last, but certainly not least the whorrific Lindsay Lohan doing her best to clean it up for the night, but still looking like glorified crackhead who crawled out of a back-alley dumpster and managed to stay lucid for five whole minutes. She really has become a sewer scraper.
Photo source: Wire Image
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Oh that was insane!!!
I am still laughing!
What a freak show. Honestly!
We idolize these people?
I can’t put enough hahahahaha’s here!!!
Comment by the domestic minx — May 10, 2007 @ 8:45 pm