Can A Zebra Change Its Stripes? Can Jessica Simpson Find Her Brain?
 
Jessica Simpson, recently separated from her main squeeze John Mayer, is now spouting philosophical musings, reading books and apparently following around A-list actors who promote ecological responsibility.
Page Six is reporting that Jessica was seen following The Departed star Leonardo DiCaprio around while sailing on a private yacht during her visit to Cannes:
Jessica Simpson was at an exclusive party on a private yacht after the Vanity Fair party at the Hotel Du Cap Saturday night, but she wasn’t fitting in with fellow guests. The part-time girlfriend of John Mayer “spent the whole night following Leonardo DiCaprio around like a lost puppy,” said our source. “He just seemed freaked out and kind of ignored her.” Simpson’s rep could not be reached.
And if that wasn’t embarrassing enough, Jessica recently posted this glimmering gem of wisdom on her official website:
I just got back from spending some time in Europe, and while I was there I visited many museums, and have been reading about different artists. I have also been writing a lot in my journal recently. I was reading a book about Michelangelo and there were 2 quotes that caught my attention - “I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.” “Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.â€
These quotes inspired me to write the below passage. I hope you can find your own individual meaning in it, as I keep coming back to it and find new strength
“Sometimes we are all so afraid to be honest with ourselves because we know that honesty will lead us somewhere off the path of the life we’ve mapped out in our minds. Today, I challenge us to ask ourselves this… What if we allow our fear to provoke us into action? Can facing our fear be what walks us to somewhere better? I do not have your answers, but in the quest to find my own, I’ve discovered somewhere worth traveling to… In my life, I ignore my fears too often, but then I’m left with nothing to challenge the best of me. I just remain cowering from my true identity. There is no discovery.”
This is just sad, Jess’ clearly trying hard to change our perception of her and makes us see her a whole new light.  She became a brunette, she dated an earthy crooner and now she’s reading books, but the dim bulb within continues to flicker and fade. I feel sorry for her. Jessica seems sweet enough, but clearly she wasn’t as gifted in the brains department as she was the breasts department.Â
This happens sometimes. It’s called balance. Our great creator in his infinite wisdom, rarely sees fit to grant us all we need to be a “whole package.” This is why supermodels are usually stupid and/or b*tches, smart women aren’t always the prettiest, why jocks are often inarticulate troglodytes, bloggers are fat and bitter and Jessica Simpson has naturally huge knockers and not a brain betwixt her enormous ears.  She should embrace the “assets” she was given and work that angle. It’s what I like to call living an “adequite” and “authentic” life.
There are exceptions of course, Milla Jovovich is a supermodel who is both smart and nice, Natalie Portman is quite pretty and highly intelligent, Michael Jordan is capable of intelligent conversation and can wipe the court with yo’ ass, and of couse there’s Scarlett Johansson who has a spectacular and natural rack, plus reads books and stuff. Â
And as for bloggers — well I am the exception not the rule — for not only am a blogger who was granted with searing insight and worldly wisdom, but also vast beauty (and sadly a small rack and a big butt - so it all works out in the end.)Â
AND I AM NOT BITTER ABOUT IT!
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Comment by hovse — May 26, 2007 @ 6:53 am
really it is interesting topic i`d loved it
because i get intersted in tabloid
Comment by joseph — May 26, 2007 @ 9:14 am
Totally brilliant!!
Ahh balance…
I too suffer from your afflictions.
Sometimes the preposterously huge brain is too much for my mundane existence…
Comment by the domestic minx — May 27, 2007 @ 9:32 pm
I do not agree with this passage. I believe everyone is born the same and it is just whether or not a person(s) choose to use their brain wisely. Some went all the way to college and some went into entertainment where most of the time the brain activity will slowed down as everything was schedule & prepared for them.
Jessica Simpson has started to think and ponder again and I believe it will be definitely good for her.
Comment by Eliza — May 29, 2007 @ 2:27 am
man, ive seen jessica simpsons
photos the new ones she still looks sexy
Comment by doug — June 2, 2007 @ 5:49 pm
Jessica you look very special Women…!
Comment by Paulo — June 3, 2007 @ 6:03 pm
dude, her nipple is totally popping out of that dress!
Comment by blah blah — June 22, 2007 @ 2:06 am