Britney Spears Message To Fans Deciphered
Britney Spears, perhaps jealous of all the attention that Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton have been getting lately, posted a long-winded, surprisingly coherent and remarkably insightful message to her fans on her website yesterday.
Glosslip likes to consider itself the last bastion of reason in the den of inequity and we also like to analyze the inner machinations of the celebrity mind at work. So without further ado, here’s Brit-Brit’s message broken down and regurgitated through a filter of sanity and candor:
Dear Fans,
I just wanted to reach out to all of you and explain some of the things that I have been faced with recently.
It’s so funny how many stories are put out there about people. It’s like we all want our side of the story out there as well, but at the end of the day only a few people care to hear what is really going on since the bad is always so much more interesting than the truth. I don’t know why, but this is so weird to me. I used to be angry at the tabloids for printing horrible things about me, but now I try to just be numb to what I see. I saw Tyra Banks once get really upset and cry on her show because they made her look fat. We all want a certain image of ourselves out there, and at some point we all do really care what other people think or we wouldn’t be here.
Glosslip says: Dear Peeps who still care about me and will hopefully buy my records and merchandise,
I am human, I have feelings too. My head itches. When you call me a washed up piece of trailer refuse it makes baby Jesus cry. Some of what you read in the tabloids isn’t true, in reality, it’s much, much worse. I have learned to not just ignore the paps, but to embrace them as a replacement for true affection and satisfaction within my own life. Tyra Banks is fat, I am not. Ignore the pictures where I look fat. They did not capture my good side. I don’t actually have a good side.
Recently, I was sent to a very humbling place called rehab. I truly hit rock bottom. Till this day I don’t think that it was alcohol or depression. I was like a bad kid running around with ADD. I had a manager from a long time ago come in and try to direct me and my life after I got my divorce. I was so overwhelmed I think that I was in a little shock too. I didn’t know who to go to. I realized how much energy and love I had put into my past relationship when it was gone because I genuinely did not know what to do with myself, and it made me so sad. I confess, I was so lost.
Glosslip says: The only people who really care about me, like my family and former manager who made me a millionaire several times over forced me to be accountable for my actions. Rehab sucked and I don’t like being told what to do because I am a selfish little pig who is likely manic depressive. Since all the people in my life were trying to help me and I had my head too far up my ass to listen, I followed my own instincts which are for sh*t, like my taste in clothes. Kevin Federline sucks hosewater. Why did I marry that wangster? Why didn’t I listen to my mother? I am exceptionally unencumbered by common sense and self-awareness. I must admit, I suck.
This letter is to not place blame on anyone, although I do see the world with a completely different set of eyes now. Being in that vulnerable state and taken to dinners and parties with friends and finding out later you paid for everything was a huge learning lesson for me. I think the whole problem was letting too many people into my life. You never know another persons intentions or what another person wants. I feel I was too open and looking for answers when I had it all to begin with. I have had to cut so many people out of my life. It is so sad, because if anyone is a family person…it is me. When I was little I remember every night watching movies with my family and feeling so at peace. Dancing and singing all the time just like a little girl should. Now recently I find with my children that I want them to have that feeling all of the time. I am having to face a lot of things right now since I have children of my own. A lot of insecurities from when I was little are coming up again. It is like we are never good enough.
Glosslip says: I had a pretty good childhood and was lucky enough to have a family who cares, but since I am possibly the most immature, pampered and selfish human being on earth I am going to only remember the bad things that happened and focus on them to make my parents feel guilty despite the fact that in reality without my family’s support I would be living in a mobile home park in the bayou married to someone worse than K-Fed, whose name really is Cletus and probably already be a grandmother suffering from meth-face and be missing several teeth. I have two babies, they’re hard work y’all and sometimes Consuela takes a day off. I feel bad that SPF fell on his head. I think he might be a little goofy. I am definitely goofy and big words confuse me.
I know everyone thinks that I am playing the victim, but I am not and I hate what is going on right now so much. Maybe this is the reason for this letter…to maybe allow people to look at me differently. It is like when you are a real woman and say what you feel and how you think things are supposed to be, that people just say you are a “bitch.”
Glosslip says: I am a bitch. But Paris and Lindsay are bigger bitches.
I feel like some of the people in my life made more of some issues than was necessary. I also feel like they knew I was beginning to use my brain for a change and cut some ties, so they wanted to be in more control of my life than me. I think it is actually normal for a young girl to go out after a huge divorce. I think it was a bigger issue because I had not gone out in such a long time. I am 25 and I do still have a lot to learn, and I am going to make mistakes everyday, and I am sure every mistake I make will probably be on CNN or Good Morning America. I am only human people and I love you for still loving me.
Glosslip says: Those people who helped me make all this money and make sure I didn’t give it all to that loser I married were trying to tell me how to get my career back on track and reclaim my pop thrown. But I ain’ts too smart, so instead of deferring to those smarter than I am, I thought I might fire up my dormant brain cells. Bad idea folks. I really am not what you’d call “with it” so you can expect some more stupid moves out of me before I finally swallow my pride and listen to the people who may be along for the ride, but at least know how to make that ride a little sweeter. Love me, me, me, me. I am a bottomless pit of need and insecurities.
I am sitting here at home and it is 6:25 and both of my sons are asleep. I am truly blessed to have them in my life. Everyday is so surreal. Life in general is so surreal and crazy.
Glosslip says: Nyquil works on young’uns too! They’re so cute when they’re not moving.
I just hope this letter made some of you think a little bit more of me and where I am coming from. I just want the same things in life that you want…and that is to be happy. It is just so weird because everyone has their own perception of me and how they think I really am. It is so weird how stories are told. There is your side, my side, and the truth. Somebody has to figure it out. I guess we will never really understand or figure out life completely. That’s God’s job. I can’t wait to meet him…or her.
Love, Britney
Glosslip says: I had someone proofread this for me and help me spell the big words. High school’s for chumps. See we are all the same and want the same things. G*d is a big smiling clown in the sky who has a big bouquet of balloons for me. I like unicorns, rainbows and Strawberry Shortcake! Wheee
Quote of the month…
It is ok to disagree with people regarding certain issues. Youre not being true to yourself if you succumb to others opinions because you feel guilty.
Glosslip: Mom I am still pissed off at you, but that weird gnawing feeling you keep telling me about hasn’t gone away yet. What’d did you call that thing..my conscience? Ugh, it’s really annoying. I wonder if doctor’s can remove that.
In summary, Britney’s still a whackadoodle, but she’s inching up on getting it together. Oh, and for the record, I think she loves her kids. It’s really her only redeeming quality at this point.
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This made laugh LOL, it is so true! It is a good thing that most of her audience is smarter than her.
Comment by Linda — May 30, 2007 @ 12:11 pm
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Pingback by poponthepop.com — May 30, 2007 @ 8:06 pm
I read this out loud to Josh and the two of us laughed until gravity took hold of our tears! Hilarious! You rock as a writer!
Comment by Ashlie Hathaway — May 30, 2007 @ 10:37 pm
This is way to funny for 12 am when everyone else is trying to get some sleep. Thanks for the laughs!!! This is hysterical.
Comment by gmommy — May 30, 2007 @ 11:04 pm
why don’t you kept on backstabbing people’s lives. We ain’t perfect u are not perfect look at yourself you think your that great. God just let her live. we’re just making it through in this live,you know what you should do at least you can be productive inspire people not the other way around you sound so bitter I bet you had a worst life.
Comment by cletus — May 31, 2007 @ 12:28 am
[…] Erklärung an ihre Fans abgegeben. Den ganzen Wortlaut mit beißendem Kommentar gibt es hier zu […]
Pingback by Britney Spears erklärt sich ihren Fans | Genial Trivial — May 31, 2007 @ 2:28 am
[…] Paris Hilton tried to sell her new goody good shoe daughter act, visiting her father in hospital. Britney Spears also came a-creeping from under some stubbly stone and wrote a highly moving message to all her fans, explaining why - […]
Pingback by Glob-a-log » Blog Archive » B b b b bad to the bone — May 31, 2007 @ 9:19 am
I guess you are trying to be funny and…insightful? It never ceases to amaze me how clueless people are when it comes to child stars! I truly feel for this girl and as for the parental “support” you reference throughout your site - it appears to me that it is you that missed the point.
Statistically speaking,look at the number of child stars that have severe mental problems. This directly stems from parents thrusting CHILDREN into the public eye for their own financial gain. Britney was singing “hit me baby one more time” to lecherous old men before she would have graduated from high school. Posing almost nude and raking in the bucks for her parents, larry rudolph and her record label while she was still jail bait. Most parents wouldn’t even consider that. Or would they?
Everyone talks about her choices…..hmmm when you are 9 - 18 I don’t think you are the best judge for what will and will not make you happy in the future - that is what parents are for… not to whore you out for a McMansion in the Bayou.
No one has any idea what may or may not have happened to that girl along the way to help her evolve into the train wreck that she has become - and she may even have a real psychological disorder (and by the way they are serious and chemically based).
I was a singer and drugs, alcohol and sexual abuse are just some of the pitfalls that are attached to that “pot of gold” at the end of the rainbow. If you don’t have a strong and present family (Britney was shipped off with an employee - NOT her mother) then you are a prime target for some pretty scary stuff.
Look at some of her “pre breakdown” footage. It has been clear for years that this girl has had problems with depression. Where was that strong network when it could have made a difference? Before she hit rock bottom?
I think Britney is living the American nightmare. All the money in the world and not an ounce of self worth. Instead of writing something mean about her - maybe we should all reflect on our own values and parenting skills.
Shame on you.
Comment by rak — June 2, 2007 @ 12:24 pm
Yes, I totally agree, shame on you to write such mean stuff abt her. Kelvin Federline left 2 woman with 2 kids to fend for themselves and gain millions, now who’s the victim? A broken relationship like a broken glass is hard to mend, just like Anna Nicole who never make it back with her parents till her death. The man whom we should applaud is Howard Stern who stood by her through thick and thin and should deserves the right to take care of her child more than the biological father.
You will feel guilty for being so mean if Britney decides to meet God!
Comment by KL — June 2, 2007 @ 10:00 pm
this is me and i think you all need to back off of brittney at least she says she is sorry for all this stuff u dont see no one else taking the time to write their feelings down about their problems and trying to explain them selves so she messed up we all do deal wit it!!
Comment by andrea janes — June 8, 2007 @ 12:09 pm
Glosslip says: Nyquil works on young’uns too! They’re so cute when they’re not moving.
LOL LOL
her letter was crappy.
Comment by blah blah — June 22, 2007 @ 1:59 am