Lindsay Lohan’s Mother At The Heart Of Lindsay’s Pain, Far Worse Off Than Peers
Lindsay Lohan in many ways is like an orphan. Not in the traditional sense of the word, but metaphorically speaking, she lacks the guidance and love that her similarly troubled peers like Britney, Nicole and Paris possess.
From all possible angles in which her story and life is viewed, she has been used and mishandled from a very early age. Lindsay’s father Michael, who we hope is truly getting his act together, was an out-of-control alcoholic prone to unreasonable and violent outbursts. Dina, Lindsay’s mother, suffers from a raging case stage-mom-ititis, using her daughter as a portal for her own delusions of grandeur. Not unlike Drew Barrymore’s mom in the 80’s, Dina uses Lindsay like an American Express card, flashing her daughter’s name to get her the attention and access she desperately wants.
This is at the heart of Lindsay’s pain. Pain that I am beginning to think isn’t just a mere ploy for attention, but the root cause of her self-destruction. Unlike Britney, who aggressively struck out at those who she deemed were oppressing her, Lindsay remains passive in her abuse. Where Britney is defiant, Lindsay is sinking deeper within her despair and using the effects of alcohol and drugs to ignore what’s really bothering her.
Britney’s family in crisis created a united front, they did what parents must do when dealing with a child who is misbehaving. They refused to acquiesce to Britney’s demands and forced Britney to face her problems WITHOUT their approval. They clearly support their daughter, but they have let it be known that they do NOT approve of her behavior. And they paid for it with her anger and alienation. Both of which will subside once Britney realizes that in reality, their tough love is the strength which she will draw on and keeps her from caving in. Britney’s parents aren’t perfect, but their intentions are noble. That is key.
Even now, as Lindsay’s dad attempts to break through the walls he helped create between he and his daughter, he is using her name and his infamy to garner attention for himself. We can’t be sure yet whether his intentions are noble, for they are truly ill-conceived and doing little for his case in the public eye.
As for Dina Lohan, she is beyond help. She is the person that Lindsay is probably most hurt by. Lindsay, who turns 21 in July, is not stupid. She is talented and there is something in her that shows me she is probably quite intelligent. But she isn’t learned, she is rather arrogant and hopelessly misguided. She knows that her mother is merely using her, just like everyone else. That has to be deeply painful.
Even Paris Hilton, 26, the oldest in the “bad-girl-posse”, has that crucial support that young people need on their way to adulthood. Most of us couldn’t possibly hope to understand the strange relationship she shares with her parents, who have had to watch her behave in ways that must be incredibly embarrassing, but somehow they remain close. And more importantly, they stand by her through each and every one of her screwups, united and squarely in her corner. I have to think that in private, there are some heated discussions about her behavior and I have no doubt they express their disapproval, while stating they still love her.
It’s easy for us to judge these young women, they make such glaringly awful decisions. We must also realize that studies have shown that young adults brains don’t fully mature until they are in their mid-twenties and you don’t stop being a parent when your child turns 18. It’s a life-long job. Certainly we can all think back to our youth and remember not heeding the advice we are given by our parents, but that doesn’t mean we didnt’ hear it. It just takes a while to sink in.
So really as the only parent in Lindsay’s life in the last couple of years, the responsibility for Lindsa’s behavior falls squarely on her mother, the one person who has done the most damage and the least good.
Shame on you Dina, the time has come for you to step up or step off.
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you must be joking how can you write so much about a person and her family when u know absolutelu NOTHING about her or her mom… seriousely
Comment by ani — May 31, 2007 @ 5:58 pm
I agree with you ani. Gossip Lip, your name matches your reviews - your full of gossip without substance. You also sure make a lot of assumptions here and I for one can tell you that if it was your daughter on the front of the paper and she look almost dead - you might get as sick as both of these parents had to. Michael is also serious and so your lack of support about his current efforts to support his daughter and turn his life around are unfounded. He loves this girl and so does Dina. Why can’t you say something positive for a change. I am done with your site anyway.
Comment by blown away in California — May 31, 2007 @ 6:49 pm
I agree with the whole article itself. I have pity for Lindsay Lohan.
Comment by Catherine — May 31, 2007 @ 7:44 pm
Um, unless you have firsthand knowledge and are willing to state in specifics BAIC and ANI, then I can’t take your criticism with any grain of seriousness. The things these two have done, especially Dina, are appalling opportunistic and selfish.
Only now is Michael Lohan attempting to make amends. I feel for him, I really do, but seriously her parents are at the root of this problem. To be perfectly frank, parents are often at the root cause of most problems with young people - and people in general.
Comment by dmdo1016 — May 31, 2007 @ 8:06 pm
really like what is so selfish and opportunistic from what Dina has done dmdo1016? she wants her daughter to be a good actress and she’s there to help her what’s wrong with that? you can’t just blame a person’s drug addiction on their paraents… sometimes parents try hard to help their children overcome their addictions but its hard i’m sure Dina never encouraged Lindsay to take any drugs or told her that it was all right… Lindsay’s probably just too tempted by hollywood life her mom has nothing to do with that… i dont understand why her mom gets so much critisizm i’ve seen so many good people have children with alcohol and drug addictions and they have done absolutely nothing to encourage them but they just happen to hang out with a wrong crowd and make htier own decisions. From what i’ve seen Dina sounds like an intelligent woman in all her interview and responds pretty well to the false critizms that she constantly receives from the press
Comment by Ani — May 31, 2007 @ 9:49 pm
blown away in california i completely agree with you… they really do seem to care and love Lindsay a lot or they that’s why Dina’s always by Lindsay’s side… how many parents are out there that couldn’t care less about what their children do especially when the child is past 18 but Dina obviousely cares
Comment by Ani — May 31, 2007 @ 9:52 pm
Interesting op-ed piece. While nobody on the outside can say for sure what goes on in that family, the points you raise seem very plausible. This is something you don’t see much of when it comes to celebrity gossip; keep up the solid writing.
As for Ani, I think we can dismiss her ideas based on the level of intelligence portrayed in her posts and her hand-waving generalizations. I mean, “u know absolutelu NOTHING about her or her mom”, so I’m sure she knows exactly what’s going on as she’s in tight with the Lohan family.
And BAIC, “gossip without substance”? Are you kidding? Can you honestly say with a straight face that celebrity gossip has substance more often than not? Maybe you should take a look at what’s going on in the world around you before you talk about substance.
Comment by The Jono — May 31, 2007 @ 11:29 pm
just cause i don’t give a crap about spelling u think i’m not intelligen enough? this whole blog entry is crap making assumptions out of things that the blogger has no idea about… as if she knows anything about Dina Lohan’s relatinship with her daughter please at least i don’t sit here and falsly critisize people as if I know something i pointed out that from what i’ve seen there’s been nothing that shows that Dina is a bad mother… at least base your assumptions on some facts and than maybe people will start to believe you
Comment by ani — June 1, 2007 @ 12:39 am
Well Ani, I do base my assumptions on facts. As for your insinuations, they are totally unfounded.
I have spent considerable time writing about Lindsay Lohan and have pretty good insight as to what’s happening to her, at least on the surface. My job is to take that information that I do know and then extrapolate that into some kind of insightful analysis, you don’t have to agree with my assertions, but that doesn’t mean that I just made them up out of thin air.
Also, it would interest you to know, that my opinion of the situation is shared by virtually anyone who has written on the subject matter. We may be gossip writers, but we know just as much about our subject as political writers, tech writers or any other area of interest a person delves into and then writes about.
Gossip may not be well respected, but here you are reading about it. All I am trying to do is put some kind of thoughtful insight into it.
Thanks Jono and Catherine - I too have pity on Lindsay, but that doesn’t excuse her behavior, or that of her mother and father.
Comment by dmdo1016 — June 1, 2007 @ 9:10 am
Good Defintions. Because Paris and Lindsay are not the same. Paris defines Shameless-rich-uselsess-unproductive-kid-seeking-fame-and-attention. Lindsay HAS talent. Lindsay could be a blockbuster actress if she continues. But at the same time Lindsay is just a Junkie (right now). And Im only slowly learning about the reasons why. I think there may be a Valid connetion that Dina just as you say. And The reason Lindsay is pretty much trying to commit Overdose-O-side is because deep down she is not felt loved.
Dan Combs
Comment by Dan — June 1, 2007 @ 1:48 pm
ok this is probably the last time i will make a comment but writing about somenoe extensively does not make you an expert… most jounralists interview people and get some information from family and friends before they make judgements such as “She knows that her mother is merely using her, just like everyone else. That has to be deeply painful.” can you prove that she is suing her? I think that if you can write about Linsday and her mother so can I with the same knowledge as you and i think that Dina is a very good mother, who is always by Lindsay supporting her and only wants the very best for her! As for Lindsay she is a young beautiful and talanted acress unlike the people like Paris, Britney, and Nicole who have done nothing and are always compared to beautiful Linsday.
Comment by ani — June 1, 2007 @ 7:16 pm