John Stamos is a straight up wackadoodle. While doing some promotional tours in the land down under for his show ER, John, who was officially stated as suffering from “exhaustion” and “jet lag” went off the deep end on a morning show called “Mornings With Kerr Ann,” which came after a previous meltdown during an interview with the Daily Telegraph’s Steven Downie. Afterwards, Mr. Downie suggested, er, implied, er made mention about his ‘odd behavior’ in an article.

I don’t see what the big deal is, isn’t everyone in Hollywood a sloppy, old slut on junk? Whatever the case, Mr. Stamos (or Blackie as I remember from back in the GH days) has been sent home to get some “rest.”

Cripes give the guy a break. When I flew to Australia, after boarding 5 different planes to get there I acted a little weird too. If I remember correctly at customs when they asked if I had an food or liquids to declare, I whipped out my engorged breasts and fired off a couple of warning shots to the uniformed officials and then I dropped my pants and suggested they check down under ‘cuz I couldn’t remember what I was packing.

That’s how we roll in the U.S. ya jackholes.

R. Kelly - I’m A Flirt

D-Bomb (The Glosslip partner in crime) and I have picked some of the songs you must have in heavy rotation for your summer music listening pleasure. We aren’t trying to tell you what to do, but unless you are some kind of punk ayssss beyottch, you should just listen up, yo! For reals!

GYM CLASS HEROES - The Queen and I

T Pain - Buy You A Drink

Baby Boy Da Prince - The Way I Live

 
Scientologist aren’t playing, they will mess you up gansta-style like they did this nice lady - Radar Online

Rumor Willis is a weapon of mass destruction - Mollygood

Britney Spears passing on the pimp gene one tater tot at a time - Pop On The Pop

The Lohan clan can’t seem to ever just SHUT IT - TMZ

Eavesdropping on Fiddy and Fergie the Duchess - Holy Candy

Victoria Beckham is proof that an English accent does not always equal class - I Don’t Like You In That Way

Is Christina Anguilera doing her part to populate the earth with half-fug children? - Maple Juice

Jakey G. and Reese Cup not in for the long haul. - Celeb News Wire

Not only is she pounding Justin Timberlake’s schwang like a meat tenderizer, she also has the hottest body in the entire universe. Jessica Biel’s “bee-hind” is like a newly discovered planet, not only is round and perfectly proportioned, but it also has a mysterious and unknown quality to it. Unless of course your initials are J and T, in which case, you are likely aware of every hill, valley and foreign body of water.

For more unearthly pictures of Jessica Biel and some of the finest writing in the land, go visit CelebNewsWire. Tell ‘em some jackhole sent you!

These two crackheads (which is NOT a euphemism) have recorded a new video of the two of them attempting some kind of duet,doing the same song, but now while wearing some clothes they stole from George Harrison’s corpse.

Pete’s fiddling on the guitar and Kate’s like an ugly bird sitting on his shoulder whistling and cursing. That said, of all the couples in the world, these two are the most genuine and in love, because to tell you the truth, only love (and street-grade drugs) could keep these two together. Kate’s a complete mess and I’ve seen dumpsters AND homeless gentlemen with better hygiene than Pete.

So kids, if you are watching this, let this be a lesson to you. Crack is whack and unless you want to keep singing the same sorry tune looking like a couple of toothless back alley semen receptacles, you best just lay off the pipe.

I don’t care what anyone says, Suri is not only Tom’s biological kid, she’s the cutest little baby ever.  Not only that, I like how Tom and Katie dote on their biological kid as though they like her, unlike say, Angelina Jolie and bio daughter Shiloh.

You know poor Shiloh is already developing an inferiority complex.  Angie has “issues,” really severe issues.

As has now been plastered all over the blogosphere, Mrs. Jane Pitt (Brad’s mom) paid a visit to her ex-daughter-in-law Jennifer Aniston. The two had a cozy two-hour visit this past Sunday and are said to still speak on the phone frequently and visit with each other when they can.

While that in itself isn’t terribly strange, it certainly can’t make Brad’s current girlfriend and mother of his biological daughter, Angelina Jolie very happy.

What’s strange about this continued closeness is the lack of grandchildren to keep Jennifer and Jane tied to one another. Clearly, their bond is one that is genuine and unmarred by Jennifer and Brad’s divorce. It’s also not a stretch to assume that The Pitts feel a sense of betrayal towards Brad and Angelina for how Jennifer was treated. You can love your children and still find their behavior disappointing and unacceptable.

While we can’t know for sure how Jane Pitt justifies her relationship with her former daughter-in-law to the mother of her grandchild(ren), I have ZERO doubt that there is tension between Jane and Angelina - and definitely some unstated animosity.

I would also be willing to bet that Jane and Jennifer remain close not only because they love each other, but also to torture Angie and Brad, which in my cosmic world of karmic justice is completely fair and absolutely acceptable.

You can’t have your cake and eat it too Angie.

Photos and scoopage: Celebrity Babylon 

Pretty woman Julia Roberts has given birth to her third child, a boy, whom she and her husband Danny Moder named Henry Daniel. The couple have 3-year-old twins Hazel and Phinnaeus and will be will be celebrating their five-year wedding anniversary on July 4th.

Congrats to the couple, who broke their rule of naming their children pretentious and semi-goofy names.

You know how they say that pet’s and their owners begin to look like each other after a while, well Katie is definitely beginning to look like her husband Tom and Tom already looks like the Head F*cking Alien in Charge.

That said, these two are the most fascinating couple in Hollywood.  I can’t wait to see Katie in her new movie Mad Money.  There is zero doubt in my mind that we will see some twitching and vacant stares out of Mrs. Cruise.  That implanted chip is doing wonders for her personality.  And by wonders I mean she scares the bejeebus out of me.

I was delighted to see the above photo of Ms. Spears. Not only is she showing us her IQ and that she’s number one, she also did something about her shideous nail situation.

If you’ll recall, in the past Brit-Brit had what I like to call trailer park claws: broken nails, chipped polish, gnarled hangnails and generally ugly hands. Which is fine if you are on your way to pick up food stamps, a carton of marlboros and some Huggies, but not so great when you are bajillionaire with a posse of peeps at your disposal.

We realize that Britney is busy watching Tater Tot and Small Fry in between sucking down purple flurps (that’s Nyquil and grape koolaid, y’all) but obviously she must have driven by one of those nail joints in L.A. and asked why so many petite Asians were “congragaten” in one spot and her cousin/handler/nannie/beyottch Allie told her that she could get her fugly hands all fixed up nice and purty like and BAM! Britney has a whole new look.

Of course she went for the wangsta-Creole style with ridiculous tips, but it’s a start. I think all in all, this is a sign that Britney is finally starting to come around. Now all she needs to do is trade in her current ride for a sweet Camaro, keep sportin’ the world WORST weave ever and her transformation into a higher level of backwoods Barbie will be complete.

Drop it like its hot Britney!