Anne Heche Possibly Crazier Than We Thought, Ex Coley Lafoon Granted Primary Custody Of Son
 
Divorce and child custody proceedings are fun for no one, but the outcome is always interesting and often telling. Typically, the court will go to exhaustive lengths to determine who the children would benefit from spending the majority of their time with. In most cases that is the mother, in some cases (best possible scenarios) there’s joint custody granted and in the rare cases primary custody is granted to the father.Â
While I may be generalizing a bit here, if the mom is NOT granted primary custody, then something ain’t right with mom. It’s quite likely that “mom” is incapable of taking care of a house plant much less a child. So, the fact that Anne Heche’s ex-husband Coley Laffoon, a videographer and the guy Anne hooked up with after leaving her lesbian lover Ellen Degeneres, has been awarded primary custody of their 5-year-old son Homer, would imply Anne is a full on whackadoodle.
Anne didn’t just lose primary custody, she has been ordered to pay child support and was only granted visitation rights on alternate weekends. Dayum!! The court heard testimony from both parties with Lafoon claiming that Heche showed “poor parenting skills” and exhibited “bizarre and delusional behavior,” Heche, in response stated that her husband spent his time watching porn and gambling instead of looking after their child.Â
It would seem being ”crazy” trumped being a “porn watcher” in the final analysis. Which, if you think about it, was a wise choice as crazy has the factor of “unpredictability,” where as, watching porn and gambling are basically national pasttimes.
Anne, who has a crazy rap sheet a mile long, left her husband after 5 years of marriage for new boyfriend, James Tupper. Tupper co-stars with Anne “Looney-Tune” Heche on the show Men In Trees, which I know nothing about because I don’t watch it and the title is stupid.
Here’s some of Anne’s greatest hits on her way to the Funny Farm Hall of Fame:
- Claims to be the sister of Jesus and the daughter of G*d
- Was found walking naked in the desert
- Refuses to stick with one sexual orientation leaving her ex-lovers (Steve Martin, Ellen Degeneres, Lindsay Buckingham and Ellen Degeneres all very bewildered and probably with herpes which she claims her father gave her after molesting her as a child).
- Wrote a book “Call Me Crazy” as if she needed to encourage anyone.  Â
I am sure there are more noteworthy events, so feel free to add your own. Oh and hooking up with married men (James Tupper you listening?) pisses me off so there you have it. Â
Anne, the custody decision says it all “you so crazy!”Â
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OK - here’s my theory:
Her playing twins on “Another World” at an early age (very well, actually) made her skitzo, hence the shifts in sexuality and etc.
Comment by Jason Meltzer Patterson — June 12, 2007 @ 4:38 pm
http://www.tv.com/anne-heche/person/10018/biography.html
And well well well miss lohan was once on the show too, just found out that little nugget of info
so my theory hold up.. another world makes you crazy
Comment by Jason Meltzer Patterson — June 12, 2007 @ 4:43 pm
http://www.tv.com/lindsay-lohan/person/1261/biography.html
This is all really starting to make sense to me now.
We need to find out of there was anything in the water on that set.
Comment by Jason Meltzer Patterson — June 12, 2007 @ 4:45 pm
It seems obvious to everyone that Ms Heche is banana cookoo, except the people who date/marry her. What’s up with that? It’s not like her track record is a secret. What would possess someone to leave his wife and child for a ride on that crazy train?
Comment by Kati — June 13, 2007 @ 11:24 am