Glosslip has a reputation for being a harsh critic of the Brangelina whitewash campaign ever since Angie seemed to swoop in and destroy Brad Pitt’s first marriage to actress Jennifer Aniston. Before Angelina Jolie became the patron saint of orphaned children, and in doing so, revamping her “wanton hussy manstealer” image, she was often the punchline for many a gossip joke: makes out with her brother, wears a vial of blood around her neck, ambiguous sexual orientation, homewrecker, has intercourse en route to red carpet events — you know — a real loose cannon as it were. But that’s ancient history. And today is a real first here at Glosslip, for today we who have never defended Angelina Jolie, are now taking a stand in her defense.

A report from Fox News is slamming the actress’ actions at her latest film premier for A Might Heart, a film based on the life, abduction and murder of The Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl as written by his widow Marianne Pearl.

Angelina is being accused of suppressing the media and making outrageous demands of any reporters or news agencies wishing to speak to her about anything related to her “personal relationships.” Those who wish to interview her must sign agreements based on her terms and any deviation from those agreements can lead to a lawsuits filed by Jolie. Here are some of the details from the FOX report:

Ironically, Wednesday night’s premiere of the excellent Michael Winterbottom-directed film was meant to support an organization called Reporters Without Borders. Jolie, however, did everything she could to clamp down on the press and control it.

Reporters from most major media outlets balked Wednesday when they were presented with an agreement drawn up by Jolie’s Hollywood lawyer Robert Offer. The contract closely dictated the terms of all interviews.

Reporters were asked to agree to “not ask Ms. Jolie any questions regarding her personal relationships. In the event Interviewer does ask Ms. Jolie any questions regarding her personal relationships, Ms. Jolie will have the right to immediately terminate the interview and leave.”

The agreement also required that “the interview may only be used to promote the Picture. In no event may Interviewer or Media Outlet be entitled to run all or any portion of the interview in connection with any other story. … The interview will not be used in a manner that is disparaging, demeaning, or derogatory to Ms. Jolie.”

If that wasn’t enough, Jolie also requires that if any of these things happen, “the tape of the interview will not be released to Interviewer.” Such a violation, the signatory thus agrees, would “cause Jolie irreparable harm” and make it possible for her to sue the interviewer and seek a restraining order.

Wow, that’s some pretty harsh and extreme measures for a person who is attempting to promote a film about journalists as heroes. But before you get all up in arms at Angie, let’s look over some important details about this story.

First of all, this is Fox News. Fox is the most conservative, “right wing and proud of it” major news agency out there. Where most media outlets attempt to project a “fair and balanced” reporting of current events, Fox basically admits that they do all their news with a slant, a right slant. In the last eight years since the Bush administration has been controlling this country, Fox has run rough-shod over any story that didn’t favor the Republicans. They are a shoot first, ask questions later. Really, when you boil it down, Fox is the reason why our media has gone from merely reporting the news, to actually editorializing it. All other agencies have had to follow suit. If you ask me, this is what Dan Rather meant when he was talking about “dumbing down” and “tarting up” the news.

Back on topic, the real reason Fox is slamming Jolie is because she outright BANNED their asses from this premier and well, let’s face it, instead of facing adversity with dignity and some self-respect, Fox News just did what Fox News does best, slings mud and hurl invectives. Please read the quotes from the same article below, but now with the benefit of knowing the intentions of this Fox writer :

So much for reporters without borders.

That’s not all: Jolie told Paramount Pictures publicists to ban FOX News Channel and all FOX News affiliates from covering the “Mighty Heart” premiere on the red carpet. It was only with the intervention of mortified Paramount staff that an FNC camera crew was allowed to be present.

Apparently, no one told Jolie of the highly positive review FOX News had given “A Mighty Heart” from Cannes.

Jolie is famous by now for directing press and selling rights to her photos. She has long been in business with People magazine, orchestrating photo shoots of her children. The money, she says, goes to charity.

This column reported a year ago, on June 8, 2006, about how Jolie and Pitt were responsible for the expulsion of journalists in Namibia where the couple went to have their child, Shiloh. Their bodyguards regularly got into fights with local photographers hoping to make some money from the couple’s colonial residency in their country.

After Shiloh was born, Jolie and Pitt gave a news conference, but limited it only to Namibian journalists. No reporters from neighboring countries were allowed.

The couple sat on the dais with Sam Nujoma, Namibia’s first president, aka dictator, who ruled for 15 years.

In 2002, Nujoma abruptly appointed himself minister of information and broadcasting. According to the Committee to Protect Journalists, Nujoma has routinely attacked reporters from his country calling them “unpatriotic” and “the enemy.”

During the time Pitt and Jolie were in the country, a former photographer for the Namibian, the daily newspaper, was arrested twice for trying to get a picture of the couple.

South African John Liebenberg was arrested on municipal property during the Jolie-Pitt stay and pronounced guilty of trespassing. His passport and camera equipment were confiscated as well.

Treatment of the press is so bad in Namibia, in fact, that an organization called the National Society for Human Rights was formed several years ago to protect reporters’ rights.

The NSHR, which is usually busy with more important matters, issued a statement on April 24 strongly condemning the deportation of foreign journalists from Namibia who wanted to cover the Pitt-Jolie visit.

“As the principal human rights monitoring and advocacy organization in this country, we strongly repudiate this unprecedented and blatant violation of the constitutionally guaranteed freedom of speech and expression, which includes freedom of the press and other media,” the statement read.

It’s a little unclear how Mariane Pearl, whom Jolie plays in “A Mighty Heart,” feels about her portrayer’s position on freedom of press for some, but not all. On Wednesday, I spoke to Jeff Julliard, the editorial director of Reporters Without Borders in Paris.

“Paparazzi should be allowed to do their job,” he said, adding that he condemned Jolie’s banning of FOX News and actions taken on her behalf in Namibia.

Note the slanted bent in this story. It’s all about how Fox was maligned, even though they said “nice things” about the film. Woe is Fox News, banned from a movie premier. We had our wittle feelings hurt. Whatevs. This is celebrity news, the stuff of make believe. This isn’t hard hitting news, you weren’t out to make your journalism professor proud, you were out to make a quick buck and had the door slammed in your face.

Anyone with a modicum of cultural awareness would have noticed that Angelina Jolie has done numerous interviews in recent months were she has spoken EXTENSIVELY about her personal life and her relationship with Brad Pitt. Just last month in Cannes, at the world premier A Mighty Heart, Jolie was slammed for turning the interviews into stories about her and her life rather than the film. Now, merely a month later she is getting beaten up for insisting the press focus on the film rather than her bedroom antics or adoptive practices.

Cripes, she can’t win. I feel very weird defending Angelina Jolie. I am not sure how I feel about her at this point. I am not even sure of my political views at this stage in game. But I know slanted journalism when I read it, and that sh*t ain’t cool.

If your motto is “We Report, You Decide” like Fox News boasts, then by all means, let me decide. Otherwise it’s not the news, it’s your opinion.

And if I wanted an opinion about a news story I’d read a blog, not some jackholes pretending to be a “legitimate news outlet.”

Divorce and child custody proceedings are fun for no one, but the outcome is always interesting and often telling.  Typically, the court will go to exhaustive lengths to determine who the children would benefit from spending the majority of their time with.  In most cases that is the mother, in some cases (best possible scenarios) there’s joint custody granted and in the rare cases primary custody is granted to the father. 

While I may be generalizing a bit here, if the mom is NOT granted primary custody, then something ain’t right with mom.  It’s quite likely that “mom” is incapable of taking care of a house plant much less a child.  So, the fact that Anne Heche’s ex-husband Coley Laffoon, a videographer and the guy Anne hooked up with after leaving her lesbian lover Ellen Degeneres, has been awarded primary custody of their 5-year-old son Homer, would imply Anne is a full on whackadoodle.

Anne didn’t just lose primary custody, she has been ordered to pay child support and was only granted visitation rights on alternate weekends.  Dayum!!  The court heard testimony from both parties with Lafoon claiming that Heche showed “poor parenting skills” and exhibited “bizarre and delusional behavior,” Heche, in response stated that her husband spent his time watching porn and gambling instead of looking after their child. 

It would seem being ”crazy” trumped being a “porn watcher” in the final analysis. Which, if you think about it, was a wise choice as crazy has the factor of “unpredictability,” where as, watching porn and gambling are basically national pasttimes.

Anne, who has a crazy rap sheet a mile long, left her husband after 5 years of marriage for new boyfriend, James Tupper.  Tupper co-stars with Anne “Looney-Tune” Heche on the show Men In Trees, which I know nothing about because I don’t watch it and the title is stupid.

Here’s some of Anne’s greatest hits on her way to the Funny Farm Hall of Fame:

• Claims to be the sister of Jesus and the daughter of G*d
• Was found walking naked in the desert
• Refuses to stick with one sexual orientation leaving her ex-lovers (Steve Martin, Ellen Degeneres, Lindsay Buckingham and Ellen Degeneres all very bewildered and probably with herpes which she claims her father gave her after molesting her as a child).
• Wrote a book “Call Me Crazy” as if she needed to encourage anyone.   

I am sure there are more noteworthy events, so feel free to add your own.  Oh and hooking up with married men (James Tupper you listening?) pisses me off so there you have it.  

Anne, the custody decision says it all “you so crazy!” 

It was with shock and awe that we observed the media coverage and the subsequent frenzy over the last few days as Paris Hilton was ordered back to jail.

At the beginning of this ordeal, people watched with gleeful joy over Paris‘ impending stay in the big house. While it’s certainly not surprising that as a culture we would respond this way to such a mystical, but generally useless public figure as Paris, it is kind of disheartening too. If you take away her status, feigned stupidity, and rampant vapidness, she is just a young woman who broke a law that many otherwise good people have broken in their lives. Lots and lots of people have had DUI’s. Really nice and responsible people who made a mistake. Lots of people take a chance and drive on a suspended license, for LOTS of reasons, not all bad. But this is Paris Hilton, not those other people. And we LOVE, SIMPLY LOVE to see her and her ilk suffer, just like we LOVE to see them live a life we simply can’t imagine.

Apparently this fascination of Paris extends to esteemed Judges and Sheriffs. No matter how much we all wanted to see Paris go to jail (I sure as hell did) that doesn’t mean her sentence was fair or even reasonable. It wasn’t. It was over-the-top and up in her grill all ghetto style. Judge Sauer took it upon himself, with his position of authority, to send a message to the elite and regular folks alike, “If you act all uppity and snotty and make a mockery of our laws because you live a privileged life and think you are special, well, F-U!” That’s not “justice” that’s making an example of someone, and while in theory, that should be a good thing, it’s not how our legal system works. We are all equal under the eyes of the law. You shouldn’t show favoritism to the rich, but you shouldn’t treat them worse either. Whatever sentence a regular person would have gotten under the same circumstances was what Paris should have gotten. I doubt that would be 45 days in jail. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but in this case it was severe.

And worse than Judge Michael Sauer is Sheriff Lee Baca. What a shameless, star-struck attention-whore this two-bit yokel with a badge is. Honestly, for crying out loud could he be more in the pocket of the Hilton clan? Sweet Mother of Mercy this man is a joke. Sheriff Baca broke the law in deciding to break rank and make the decision about how Paris Hilton was to carry out the remainder of her sentence. It wasn’t his decision to make. If he had an issue with her sentence and her well-being there were propers channels to go through and appropriate measures to take. I am actually offended. Baca’s behavior was an affront to my delicate sensibilities. I can’t remember ever seeing someone of his level of authority embarrass and fawn over a person as utterly contemptuous and without usefulness to society as Paris Hilton. This guy acted like he was saving some saintlyesqe victim of persecution.

Paris Hilton’s no saint, she’s a slut who hates gays, Jews and others of various ethnicities. She’s practically the patron saint of the KKK, not a modern day Joan of Arc.

That said, she still didn’t deserve 45 days in jail. She deserved about a week, and then about 400 hours of community service where she had to help children in an oncology ward and victims in the burn unit. She should have been forced to pick up trash by the side of the freeway on hot smoggy summer days and then be on house arrest at night. This whole media explosion has only cemented her warped sense of entitlement.

Thanks morons. Paris was only annoying before, now she’s going to be UNBEARABLE.

We can’t seem to muster up enough interest to care that Heather Locklear’s and Denise Richards’ ex-manslut Richie Sambora has entered rehab, but we thought maybe you might.  This is what happens after Denise Richards gets a hold of your man parts.

Expressing outrage over the “Paris Hilton Freed Due To Medical Reasons” nonsense would be an enormous waste of time. I doubt anyone REALLY believed she’d spend her entire sentence behind bars. She’s already been shown preferential treatment by having her sentence reduced from 45 days to 23 due to “good behavior” which btw, was granted BEFORE she even went into custody. That’s what I call prognostication.

So now everyone’s up in arms because after only 3 days in lockdown Paris cried and whined her way out of jail into house arrest, which we all know just means “party-time, excellent” at the Casa de Hilton. The supposed reason for her release was based on her mental state, which was stated as being “fragile” with Paris on the verge of a”nervous breakdown.” And well, ya know, it’s not like Paris killed anyone, she just ignored the laws of land and used her status as a shield for doing so. Big deal.

The LA County Sheriff’s office, going against presiding Judge Sauer’s explicit orders to the contrary, reassigned Paris to house arrest for 40 days feeling that this was an appropriate punishment for her crimes. Who are we to argue with their interpretation of what is appropriate punishment? I had always assumed that the justice system happened in the courtroom, but apparently law enforcement officials are the judge, advocate and jury these days.

There’s talk that Paris may have to go back to jail after some inquiry into her reasons for being released, but I say: why bother. Paris is like a national treasure. Equivalent to Mount Rushmore and the Grand Canyon. No pun intended.

In truth, the issue here isn’t what the punishment was, but rather the due process. Obviously the more money you have the better legal representation you will get. That’s capitalism baby. But once the sentence was set forth by the presiding judge, Paris Hilton’s preferential treatment should have ended there. She had her day in court, she had her opportunity to present her case and like anyone else, she should now be forced to follow through with what was handed down. The Sheriff should have no jurisdiction in deciding Paris punishment, law enforcement’s job is just that, to enforce the law.  Oh well, obviously the Sheriff was as susceptible to the charms of Ms. Hilton as the rest of us.

Our society puts people like Paris on a pedestal and will continue to do so. We favor them, give them special treatment and make them think they are better that us, and as long as we go along with it, then the truth is they are better.  Or at least treated better.

Is it fair? No, but nobody said life was going to be fair so quit your bitchin’.

He’s cute y’all.   TMZ states they will have additional pictures soon.  I will be sitting here counting the seconds.

TMZ is reporting that Paris Hilton, after spending only 3 days of her 23 day sentence, has been released from Lynwood Correctional Facility.

In some ways, just having to go to Lynwood was probably punishment enough for the pampered heiress. The celebutard, who rarely ventures out of her Beverly Hills, Malibu, Hollywood glam circuit, was forced to slum it in the slammer for violating her DUI driving suspension. Most people suspected she would be spring early, but perhaps not this early.

LA County have not officially stated the reason, but it may stem from a virulent outbreak of herpetitis that was traced back to Paris, or it could be the standard overcrowding issue.

TMZ, who has stalked Paris’ visit in the pokey with a criminalesque interested, has recounted that Paris suffered many indignities, including: Paris only received 3 blankets and had to use one as pillow thus leading to her to being cold and unable to sleep , Paris was forced to endure a cavity search which was probably harder on the guards than her, and it is reported that the food was so bad Paris ate very little.

And so, in conclusion Paris barely slept, barely ate and had her nethers groped. Isn’t this a typical day for her? Punishment my ass. It was also stated that many of the inmates were sympathetic to her plight telling her she didn’t deserve to be there and she looked good without her makeup and fake blue contacts. With this kind of treatment, we can expect Paris back behind bars before the next summer BBQ.

I would like to leave you with one parting sentiment that is running through my brain after hearing this news. Some lyrics from the great Joni Mitchell:

I was a free man in Paris
I felt unfettered and alive
There was nobody calling me up for favors
And no one’s future to decide
You know I’d go back there tomorrow
But for the work I’ve taken on
Stoking the star maker machinery
Behind the popular song

In the new edition of Parade Magazine, due out this weekend, Angelina Jolie talks about her life with Brad Pitt and their four children, Maddox, 6, Pax 3, Zahara 2, and Shiloh 1, as well as their future plans as a family, and her humanitarian efforts.

Angelina on being a working mom with four small children:

“Brad and I are very lucky that we’re in a situation where we can choose to take turns, and one of us can be home with the kids, and so we kind of have that plan of who is doing what. So I have been home, and now I am going to go to work for a little bit, then he is going to work, then I m going to work, then basically we’re going to try to take a year off and just be with the kids. So certainly, we’re trying to find a few projects that we love or that we think would be good to do for one reason or another. But mainly our focus is, ‘OK, let’s look at our schedule, and try to figure out when we’re going to have our family time.’”

She and Brad’s plans for their future, work and family:

“Brad and I have a lot of kids, and we want to have more kids. It’s fun, and we love it. But you can’t balance everything.I think both of us only plan to work for a few more years. We’ll try to stop sooner or later, so we can be home and travel, and just live.”

Are they abandoning the Hollywood lifestyle?

“Certainly we’re not running from all that. That’s not our motivation. We’re public people. We know that, and the world is what it is today, with press and media. But, yeah, I think it will be nice to, you know, just not be so – so out there.”

Angie’s mother died this past January after a long bout with ovarian cancer, she now opens up about how her mother influenced her own humanitarian efforts:

“I am my mother’s daughter. I mean, I hope but don’t think I’ll ever be as good as her.She was just such a pure, kind, unbelievably gracious mother. From a very young age, I saw my mother doing aid work. I saw how it made her life very happy and fulfilled. But really the biggest lesson she taught me was: It’s the little things. This was somebody who the world didn’t know about at all, but her simple acts of kindness left a huge impression.”

Angelina admits that her life hasn’t always been a model one and shares some insight on what intrinsically changed her outlook:

“I think that when I was in my early 20s, I knew, innately, that I wasn’t living an important life. I think that I didn’t so much lose my way, but I hadn’t found my way. I wasn’t giving very much. My life was not really benefiting anyone. That just doesn’t feel good.”

What does she think about her star-status and the impact this has had on her pet causes?

“There’s a part of me that understands that I can get people to pay attention to certain things. When that happens, there’s nothing that feels better. But my intention was never, ‘I need to go out there and teach other people something. Whether people’s thoughts about my family are positive or negative, at the end of the day, I get to come home to these four little people who are the greatest things in the world.”

Angie also gives some practical advice on how the average person can help those in need around the world:

“My advice for [those who want to help in the world]: People have the Internet, they have access to magazines, newspapers from other countries, they have access to human rights Web sites, U.N. Web sites, all kinds of discussions on many different things—justice, aid abroad, volunteer vacations. There are many things to explore.

I think the first step is to try to navigate your way through some of that and see where your heart goes. That’s a big part of it. I do think it has to be personal. It has to be strong for it to last and grow, and then it will be a pleasure to work hard to do it.

I know people who now work in Washington, very high-powered jobs, who simply started as young people who decided they would just GET to different countries, and say, ‘I’ve got a pair of hands, and I’ll help—does anybody need me?’ There is a lot to be said for that. If you investigate, there are a lot of volunteer organizations, a lot of NGOs [non-governmental organizations], a lot of religious groups. But first I do think that there is something to knowing who you are and where your heart goes and what you feel you can contribute.”

For more on Angelina Jolie, check out Sunday’s Parade Magazine. Also, she is making it really difficult to hate her. Her beauty is spellbinding. Witch!

Photo: Marie Claire

Yes, I found this funny and NSFW or for any other activity you might be engaged in. In fact, you probably shouldn’t watch it all or your eyes will burst into flames and your soul will instantly be transported to hell.

Just a head’s up.

IMAGE REMOVED PER REQUEST - TO SEE IMAGE GO HERE

The above photo shows a very beautiful story of a mother giving her child what G*d intended for babies, breastmilk. We here at Glosslip applaud Maggie and her daughter Ramona for engaging in the ages old practice of breastfeeding. Not only is this one of the most natural acts of bonding between and mother and child, but the health benefits are endless. We only ask that Maggie show a tiny bit of decorum, as we don’t want her to taint the process with needless exhibitionism.

Trust us when we tell you, Maggie would be hard pressed to find a bigger breastfeeding advocate than us. As someone who breastfed both of her kids until they were like 15, we know the value of breastmilk and how superior it is to the poison that is formula. (Just kidding, they were 3, but formula really does suck in comparison.)

Anyway, as a card-carrying member of the nipple nazi brigade, I salute you Maggie, but do us all a favor, keep the girls covered up. It really is freaky to see someone else’s breasts while out and about doing your errands. Sheesh, ever heard of a blanket?

That said, this is perhpas the most flattering photo I have ever seen of her. Maybe she should show her breasts more often.

Thanks to the pervs as Splash.