Hollywood Police Blotter: Nicole Richie Does 4920 seconds, Lindsay Lohan 24 Hours
In this day and age of decadence and hedonism, personal vice is measured on a sliding scale. Perhaps this a good thing. As a society we finally seem to be cracking down on violent crimes and slacking off on “victimless” crimes, and by “victimless” I mean where no one was actually harmed, even if the potential to do so was exceedingly high.
As I stated in an earlier post, Nicole Richie is practically a genius and a saint compared to her celebu-peers. Not only did she avoid most of the road-bumps her best pal Paris Hilton managed hit at full speed, she essentially escaped her brush with the law unscathed, having spent a mere 82 minutes being incarcerated. Justice is served yo!
According to TMZ, the virtual authority on all things celebrity these days, here is the official statement from the L.A. County Sheriff’s office:
On August 23 2007, at 3:15 PM Miss Nicole Camille Richie reported to CRDF and surrendered herself following a July 27 arrest, she was sentenced to serve 96 hours in County Jail. Miss Richie was accompanied by her attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley and her boyfriend Joel Madden. Miss Richie was booked and processed into the jail system. Miss Richie was cooperative during the process. Based on her sentence and federal court guidelines, Miss Richie was released at 4:37 PM today.
So there you have it. Miss Richie was cooperative. Also, she’s a celebrity and more likely than not, poses no threat to society (if you don’t include The Simple Life) and with fingers crossed, let’s hope she’s learned her lesson. Buh, bye!
What about Lindsay Lohan? Yesterday was also a big day for her legal entanglements, and like Nicole, she fared quite well despite a number of possible outcomes.
If you will recall, Lindsay was busted a few weeks back for her second DUI and as well as, another cocaine possession charge in less than three months. After an amazing display of legal finagling, Lindsay’s lawyer Blair Berk had all of Lindsay’s charges reduced to misdemeanors and in the end Lindsay ended up with a 1-day sentence in jail (plus community service, probation, fines and mandatory drug and alcohol treatment.)Â Most likely Lindsay won’t even end up serving the entire 24-hours, because she like Nicole, didn’t try to fight it in court and instead copped a plea deal.
Initially, Lindsay denied any wrong-doing the day after her incident, but then released this statement yesterday to TMZ:
“It is clear to me that my life has become completely unmanageable because I am addicted to alcohol and drugs.
Recently, I relapsed and did things for which I am ashamed. I broke the law, and today I took responsibility by pleading guilty to the charges in my case. No matter what I said when I was under the influence on the day I was arrested, I am not blaming anyone else for my conduct other than myself. I thank God I did not injure others. I easily could have.
I very much want to be healthy and gain control of my life and career and have asked for medical help in doing so. I am taking these steps to improve my life. Luckily, I am not alone in my daily struggle and I know that people like me have succeeded. Maybe with time it will become easier. I hope so.”
Well, Lindsay it’s about time your PR people craft a statement that reflects the reality of your current situation. You my dear, are a drug addict and an alcoholic. This is not some random incident that you mistakenly stepped into, this is the status quo of someone who lives their life indulging in excesses and takes zero responsibility for their actions — however dangerous and irresponsible those actions may be. I sincerely hope that you believe those words above and take them seriously. Your talent is undeniable, but LOADS and LOADS of people have talent. You are nothing special unless you take an active part in becoming so.
The most telling quote regarding the leniency that was shown Lohan came from a law enforcement source:
“Prosecutors in this county see a lot of kids in crisis. There are lots of kids struggling with addiction. The first sign of trouble usually involves a car. We’re not going to throw every one of them in prison. It doesn’t make sense.”
And that’s exactly right. Lindsay’s age, highly visible profile and profoundly f*cked up family contributed greatly to her downfall. Her parents Dina and Michael Lohan are already on the Dark Lord’s (not Voldemort, the other guy) list of bad, bad, bad people. Their greed, selfishness and utter incompetence as parents are to blame for most of Lindsay’s issues. At the tender age of 21, you typically shouldn’t see this type of self-destructive behavior unless A.) you have mental problems or B.) your parents suck ass.
In Lindsay’s case, there’s a heavy emphasis on B and probably a sprinkling of A.
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