Angelina Jolie’s Only Slept With Four Men, She’s Also A Math Whiz
In an interview with Cosmo magazine (UK edition) actress and humanitarian Angelina Jolie goes on the defensive about her “bad girl” reputation.
Angelina Jolie is stunned by her man-eating reputation, insisting she has only ever slept with four men. The star claims she has only had sex with current partner Brad Pitt, former husbands Billy-Bob Thornton and Johnny Lee Miller and one other nameless man.
She tells Britain’s Cosmopolitan magazine, “It was never true. I had only slept with four men in my life - and I married two of them.”
While some may question the veracity of these statements, I choose to take them at face-value. But only if you do the math.
Statistics show that most people deflate the number of people they’ve slept with by a factor of 4, so that means she’s really slept with 16 men. But you also need to factor into the equation that people in Hollywood lie at a rate of 50%. Which in simpler terms, means they lie 50% of the time. So if we split the difference with Angelina and assume that this time she might be telling the truth, that means there is a 25% chance she is lying and so we must multiply the 16 men she’s slept with by .25%, which brings the number up to 20. Plus, there’s the additional factor that in Hollywood everyone’s slept with everyone, so for every one person you’ve slept with, you’ve really slept with approximately 500.
To further complicate matters, we must take into account Angelina’s past history of falsehoods and her pattern of truth-telling. Angelina claims to have not begun a relationship with Brad Pitt until he ended his marriage with Jennifer Aniston. But recently, Brad Pitt revealed that he went to Jennifer Aniston while the two were still a couple and asked her how she wanted to handle his “outside influence” with Angelina Jolie. While I am no relationship expert, I think it’s safe to assume that Brad was well aware of his attraction and compatibility with Angelina Jolie well before announcing to his wife of four years that he wanted out of his marriage so he could pursue a new relationship with Angelina.
Of course, this means that Angie and Brad were at an intimate enough level in their relationship for Brad to know he was no longer in love with his wife, and was in fact in love with Angie. In summary, Angie lied about having begun a relationship with Brad BEFORE he had ended his then current relationship with wife Jennifer Aniston.
Assuming you are still with me in all this complicated abstract algebra, what we know must resort to some very intense mathmatic theorems and so you will have to excuse me for a moment whilst I work this up on my chalkboard.
Ok, so if you multiply 20 by 10 and take the squareroot of that number which is then multiplied by a factor 50, carry the 4 and then divide that by 7…………
A ha, I have figure for you: 10000.
Yes that seems about right, Angelina Jolie has actually slept with 10,000 men, give or take a couple (this isn’t an exact science here folks). Wow, somehow that number seems spot on and just about what I’d expect out of the most beautiful, kind-hearted slut in the world.
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Maybe, technically, she’s correct. Maybe she has only slept with four MEN.
But she’s an admitted (albeit allegedly former) bisexual, right? What about that? What about Jenny Shimizu?
I really do not like Angelina Jolie.
Comment by k — September 19, 2007 @ 2:33 pm
[...] Angelina Jolie says she’s only slept with four men. If you believe that, I have a piece of moldy bread in the shape of the Virgin Mary to sell you! [GlossLip] [...]
Pingback by Holy Candy | The Altar of the Superficial | Celebrities, Gossip, Entertainment, Pop Culture, Humor » Blog Archive » Pieces of Candy: Hump Day Edition — September 19, 2007 @ 3:28 pm
I am not a real fan either. There’s just something about her that isn’t right.
Comment by dmdo1016 — September 19, 2007 @ 3:34 pm
[...] speaking of which, Angie’s only slept with four men (Glosslip) [...]
Pingback by Lynx » Ayyyy! — September 19, 2007 @ 4:59 pm
I just LOVE u; there is no better web out there that says the truth about her. You are not kissing her ass like anybody out there. I am 12 years younger than her, and virgin b/c i happen to believe in sex after marriage and with all this i have been in bed with 5 men (just spending the night, w/o any sex, but sth would have happened if i wasn’t virgin)and i’m not the most beautiful woman or rich for that matter. And she’s a woman who does not believe in what i do, was sexually active since 14 with her LIVE IN boyfriend, one of the sexiest women in Hollywood and she thinks that we are that stupid to believe her lies. This is the reason that i do not like her; b/c she thinks we are idiots who believe and applause anything she does.
Comment by R — September 19, 2007 @ 9:29 pm
the truth is that all the famous people like her do no say the truth about their personel life especially when it talks about something like that, im a fan of her but i’ll never believe anything she said or she’ll say
Comment by k — September 20, 2007 @ 12:29 pm
I slept with zero men. FYI
Comment by the commentator — September 20, 2007 @ 7:19 pm
…look at me…
Comment by the commentator — September 20, 2007 @ 7:20 pm
[...] Dude Jay Z predictions - Juicy-News Does anyone believe Angelina Jolie only had sex with 4 men? - Glosslip George Clooney injured - Bumpshack Hilary Duff’s boyfriend buys her a mercedes for her [...]
Pingback by poponthepop.com — September 22, 2007 @ 2:27 am
I’m extrememly happy that Brad and Angie have met and expanded our expectations of what movie stars are capable of doing for humanity. Other than Oprah and Bono and a Diane Sawyers- Brangelina has done more for humanitarian efforts than most. This would not have happened if Brad and Jen stayed married- we all know that. Brad was quoted saying he hated ‘f***in’ Hollywood and wanted to do something with his life.
As far as his so-called marriage to Jen goes: If anyone remembers the troubles that Jennifer and Brad were having 18 months into their marriage- you realized that it was more of a deep friendship after only 2 of the 4 years. Did anyone read the Vanity Fair issue when he was filming Troy? They had a trial separation for over 9 months and she finally flew over to talk to him. Around that time Brad picked up the rights to the Marrianne Pearl story when it happened and by coincidence Angelina had interest in it and had become friends with her, so they both had chosen that project years before they met without knowing it. They didn’t even talk about this together and realize their common goals until they were doing some post production re-do shots for Mr. & Mrs. Smith at the Parker Meridian in Palm Springs 2 days after Xmas of 2004. (I was staying there at the same time, but did not ask for their autographs. I did however keep track of any stories surrounding them with my daily google alerts and all this was reported).
While at the Meridian, I saw them having dinner together. They seemed like average co-workers until a conversation sparked up and apparently that’s when they talked about their common goals. Brad and George Clooney had worked on some African projects together and Angie had already become a representative for the United Nations after watching the documentary on refugee camps worldwide while married to Billy Bob.
That night was when they discovered how much they had in common, ordered room service and stayed up all night talking in Angie’s room.
At that point, Brad and Jennifer were good friends, at best. That was made clear 15 months before filming Mr. & Mrs. Smith in the Vanity Fair article. He stated that he and Jen had some kind of alternative marital agreement and that he most often stayed at his newly designed warehouse studio in downtown LA or his private place in Malibu. He also went on to say that he wasn’t sure if anyone ever finds their ‘true love’.
We also know from numerous interviews with Brad that he was very anxious to get started on a big family, but Jen signed on for 2 more years of friends after that (where she had her window to start a family in the last year because she was preg. on the show). Then in her last year of Friends, signed contracts to do 5 movies after it was done. She was quoted as saying that she did not want to stereotype herself in television parts any further and wanted to move on to the big screen movie deals.
I see that Brad was and continues to be good friends with Jennifer. I think that they have both been honest with eachother about what they wanted all along and it just wasn’t working. They obviously grew apart over professional differences. Jennifer has said that she knows that Brad did not start anything with Angelina until after they broke up. That last goodbye trip in the Caribbean with the Arquette’s was planned. They continued to stay married and he threw a big birthday bash for her in the home they had renovated. Everyone knew that party was thrown as their last goodbye. Later that summer, both Angie and Brad met in Africa for their work in separate countries and that was when a relationship was discussed- 6 months after he announced the finish of his marriage. Jennifer has attested to all this. They’ve dealt with the fact that their relationship didn’t work as a marriage and let it go. I can’t understand why the public is even interested in making it more than what it was and continues the rumor mill.
Comment by Barb — September 22, 2007 @ 11:54 pm
Barb - why are you defending this pathological liar, aka skanky nutcase? And btw - I think I know you. You are quite the AJ yourself. No matter how one dissembles, the truth is the truth. Stop deluding yourself.
Comment by redhead — October 1, 2007 @ 12:58 pm
Barb can box the jolie pitt relationship up and put a pretty bow on it but it doesn’t change the fact that Pitt was unfaithful to his wife. He fell for Jolie while filming - while still married. Actions speak louder than words. Within moments of filing just for a separation, Brad was posing with the skank on the cover of W. Less than a month after Jen filed for divorce he was caught by papz in Africa on the beach with Jolie and son. Jen filed for divorce in March 2005 (look it up) and Brad flew with Jolie to adopt Zahara in July (4 months later) and had her and the kids move in with him! DO NOT try and convince anyone that he waited til he was separated to fall in love with Jolie. I agree that everyone has a right to be happy and maybe she does make him happy (or did) but it doesn’t justify his selfishness and lack of sensitivity to his ex (who was suppose to be his best friend). As for Jolie sleeping with 4 men. I find it ironic that she feels the need to defend herself let alone actually name her lovers! She’s become quite pathetic in her attempt to clean her dirty slate.
Comment by K — December 12, 2007 @ 9:52 am
okayy look people she is one of my favorite actresses and I have a lesbian thing for her and I just hate seeing her name being slan just because people in this time and age are sluts and whores going around to everything with a pulse and pulling there pants down doesn’t mean anything why is it so fucking hard for people to get through there thick skulls with no brains that just because ur favorite hollywood celeb has slept with everybody and everything doesn’t mean anything damn bro this fucking world is stupider than I thought. cause last time I checked you people weren’t in her bed or her lovers bed so four men or not its her choice and I’m going to stay supporting her to the end of time cause I believe peoples word and don’t bring a celeb down because u can’t keep ur word.
Comment by charice shipley — August 14, 2008 @ 3:10 pm