Behold Beyonce’s Beautiful Burgundy B’Phone
(It looks fuchsia to me)
Now, you can take a little piece of Beyonce with you everywhere you go. Introducing the B’Phone, a tricked-out Samsung UpStage SPH-M620 Sprint-mobile music phone, personalized by Beyonce herself:
The handset features gold-and-burgundy colors designed by Beyonce, a Beyonce-themed startup screen and the ability to download exclusive Beyonce photos, videos and a song she recorded as a child.
“When I was 10, I recorded a song called ‘632-5792′ — a phone number. It’s a little embarrassing but it’s cute. There’s a recording of that song on the phone exclusively for my fans,” Beyonce told journalists. “I wanted to make sure people got a feel for who I really am. It’s only through this phone that you can get this close to my life.”
You know, just this morning when I got up and was eating my Frankenberry cereal, I was ruminating on what was missing in my empty life, and I came to the sad conclusion that there just was not enough Beyonce in my life. I didn’t feel close to her, I didn’t have any sort of feel for who she really was. It was like she was a stranger to me. I felt so….alone.
Then, as if on angel’s wings, the heavens opened and the news that I could, at last, achieve my dream came to me, and now I know that I’ll truly never be alone again. My life has new meaning. I can both feel close to Beyonce and give her money that I’m sure she so desperately needs. After all, somewhere there are orphaned weaves who need the kind of home that only Beyonce can give, and now I can be a part of that.
And the best part? They will go on sale November 4 at Wal-Mart. As if it couldn’t get any better, along comes the best part. Wal-Mart! Now even the most remote corners of the world can have the gloriousness that is Beyonce in their hip pocket. I’m sure, somewhere in Iowa, a farmer is dancing in his cornfield, secure in the knowledge that it is just a few short weeks until he can drive his tractor to Wal-Mart and get his very own B’Phone so he, too, can feel close to Beyonce.
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[...] Chris Ziegler wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptNow, you can take a little piece of Beyonce with you everywhere you go. Introducing the B’Phone, a tricked-out Samsung UpStage SPH-M620 Sprint-mobile music phone, personalized by Beyonce herself:. The handset features gold-and-burgundy … [...]
Pingback by Hollywood » Behold Beyonce’s Beautiful Burgundy B’Phone — October 12, 2007 @ 2:24 am
It’s a freaking shame that comedy like this is only commented on by the lowly likes of myself. K is the midwestern Jerry Seinfeld.
Comment by D — October 12, 2007 @ 9:30 am
Mmmmmm. Frankenberry.
Comment by crazymom — October 14, 2007 @ 2:35 pm
#3…and this is the only time of year I can buy it! That and BooBerry….mmmmm.
Comment by k — October 14, 2007 @ 9:09 pm