Wonder what sort of candy she gives out?  Or if she lets Ali dress up like big sis for trick-or-treat?

Hold onto your credit cards, Dina Lohan is starting work on a new reality series for E! tomorrow, and it promises to be a doozy:

Get ready to see a lot more of the Lohans. Filming is set to begin Oct. 30 on the untitled E! reality TV series primarily starring Dina Lohan, and her singer-actress daughter Ali, Dina Lohan tells PEOPLE.

The first shoots will take place in New York City and Long Island, N.Y.

“There are so many misconceptions about me and my family,” says Dina. “I’m setting the record straight.”

I wonder what misconceptions there could be about Dina?  That she’s fame-hungry, that she will do anything for money, that she wants to turn her children into stars?

But wait, there’s more…

Apparently, over fifty years of refuted clinical scientific data means nothing when you are a celebrity. Clearly having a healthy baby means nothing to certain celebs either.

An article in the New York Post states a very pregnant Nicole Richie has been seen smoking on at least two occasions. Of course we can only imagine what she does when people aren’t around to catch her in the act. Ts, tsk, I really had hoped she’d have better sense. Then again, she’s probably prepping her body for that post-baby weight-loss diet of ciggies and diet Red Bull. You can never be too thin, too rich or too stupid in Hollywood.

Cindy Adams says:

MOMMY-to-be Nicole Richie. 3:30 p.m. Pony tail, black jeans, waistcoat. Exits DaSilvano with one young girl, one middle-age lady. On the sidewalk, after checking who’s at which outdoor tables, she lights up. They jump into a waiting black Caddy Escalade, Nicole into the front seat. Still smoking.

Three days later, 7:30 p.m., Nobu. For somebody who doesn’t eat, she sure frequents lots of restaurants. She’s there with the baby in the bun’s father. They leave. Outside she lights up again.

Now, two cigarettes doesn’t necessarily equal a premature baby, a baby with asthma, an underweight baby or any other host of issues that smoking while pregnant can cause. But it doesn’t help either. I won’t get into the various degrees of how gross and unhealthy smoking is for an adult, because by now, we all know the dangers of smoking.

But to expose your unborn child to any needless toxins shows a real lack of maternal instincts, a vast degree of selfishness and absolutely ZERO discipline.

Whatever, chances were pretty good her baby is already at a major disadvantage anyway, just look at the parents.

 

If you haven’t seen Helen Mirren’s award-winning performance as Queen Elizabeth II in the movie, The Queen, go rent it now and watch it.  Right now.  Go ahead.  I’ll wait.

The five Corgis in the film, named Poppy, Anna, Alice, Oliver, and Megan (I believe only four were shown at a time), were awarded Top Dog honors at London’s inaugural Top Dog Film Festival:

“I know one should avoid acting with animals and children,” Mirren said. “But these little chaps were a pleasure to work with and deserve all the plaudits for their fine performances.”

The five Corgis, who were the monarch’s pets in the movie, were rewarded Sunday with a gong at London’s inaugural Fido Film Awards, which are part of the British Film Institute’s London Film Festival.

“The inaugural Fidos are a first in more ways than one: dogs have truly come in from the cold,” said Toby Rose, the event’s organizer. “Dogs take up considerable minutes of film time, but they never get a nod. Nodding to dogs is the way to go.”

The canine quintet’s success at the Fidos takes the tally of awards won by the movie to 59. In real life, Queen Elizabeth II has owned more than 30 Corgis during her 55-year reign.

The little dogs steal a couple of scenes in this movie with their unabashed cuteness.  But where are the awards for the Labs who were featured in hunting/stalking scenes at Balmoral?  Well, perhaps they were just stock.

Really, you should see this movie.  I rented this and Elizabeth I (also featuring Mirren) one weekend and had a royal good time.  Elizabeth I was a bit factually off, but an enjoyable movie nonetheless.  And besides, The Queen introduced me to the adorableness that is Michael Sheen.

I realize that Paris probably thinks she looks sexy in this Alice and Wonderland get-up, but if you look again, you can see Marilyn Manson trying to claw his way out of her diseased body. Come to think of it, those two would make a great couple: the Prince of Darkness and the Heiress of Whoreville.

More of Paris being an ass after the jump. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
But wait, there’s more…

Talk-show host and media mogul Oprah Winfrey was put in an incredibly awkward and humbling position when she was forced to apologize to parents and student at her Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy in South Africa this past week. Abuse allegations surfaced at the school, including sexual abuse when it was revealed a “dorm parent” on staff at the academy fondled a student, choked a student and cursed and screamed at students. Both the principal and the “matron” have been placed on leave pending further investigations. Here’s more from an article in the NYD News:

Oprah canceled appointments and flew to South Africa twice in the past few weeks after allegations that one of the matrons fondled a girl and that other pupils had been physically abused.

One pupil has said a matron grabbed her by the throat and threw her against a wall. Girls have also said the “dorm parent” swore and screamed at them, assaulted them and sexually fondled at least one girl. The alleged incidents came to light when one of the pupils ran away from the school because the reported abuse had become intolerable.

South African police and the Family Violence, Child Protection and Sexual Offenses Unit are now investigating.

Oprah, who has spoken openly about being abused as a child, gave the girls her personal telephone number, her e-mail address and her postal address so that they could contact her around the clock.

I am NOT an Oprah Winfrey fan. While she’s undoubtedly talented, powerful and wears many hats - she also comes across as very arrogant, self-serving and can be deceptively manipulative. To be perfectly honest, Oprah seems like a major control freak.

But, with all that being said, I have genuine sympathy for Oprah having to deal with these kinds of issues. There is no doubt she feels terrible that these young women were exposed to someone who clearly was ill-suited to be working with children. The academy isn’t even a year old (it opened in January 2007) and Oprah used her own vast wealth and resources to build the facility. Clearly Ms. Winfrey wanted to give these young women an opportunity to excel and succeed in a country with a very negative history of oppression toward blacks and certainly women in general.

Africa is a continent which can use all the charitable works the Western world has to offer, but this kind of negative attention may make some who wish to be philanthropic think twice. Oprah does NOT deserve to have her efforts to do good turn into some kind of embarrassing backlash, yet, that’s what has happened:

A tearful Oprah Winfrey begged for forgiveness Sunday as she met the parents of students at her all-girls academy, which is reeling from lurid allegations of sexual abuse.

“I’ve disappointed you. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” the talk show queen told families in an emergency meeting at the South African school in Henley-on-Klip, south of Johannesburg.

By lending her name to the school, the onus is on Winfrey to make sure proper screening and employment practices are being used when hiring staff for the school. Obviously a bad apple slipped through. This type of oversight has happened to Oprah before. Like here and most recently here.

Rest assured though, there will be severe repercussions for those who humiliate the Oprah. Remember James Frey, the author of A Million Little Pieces? No?

Exactly.

Mad Posh done went and got her hair did.  Which look do you like better?

Blonde Posh bob?

Or retro Spice Girls look?

The Daily Mail says it is a wig, but I’m not so sure.  As seen in the above photo, she’s let the Posh Bob grow out quite a bit, it isn’t as asymmetrical as it was before.  The new look seems to be the same only darker.

I sorta like her hair darker.  She doesn’t look all ice queen fakey LA soccer mom with it darker.  She’s quite pretty if she’d just stop trying to be the International Pout.

Apparently the new look is for the upcoming Spice Girls tour set to kick off December 2.

It would seem that Kevin Federline is living in fear of getting a call that Britney has killed herself, and taken the boys with her, according to girlfriend Nicole Narain:

Kevin Federline, who is battling for custody of their two boys, said: “Britney’s behaviour has already put our kids at risk and I can’t let things get any worse.

“She’s lost all grasp on reality and is dragging the children through hell. Her mood swings are now so wild that I live in fear of getting a call telling me that she has killed herself.

“I can’t allow her to have custody because I seriously believe she could harm our sons. I’ve shared her life and I know she’s capable of anything with pills and a few drinks inside her.”

Hey, it was a pretty slow celeb news weekend.  From what I understand, NOTW is the British equivalent of the National Enquirer, so take that into consideration.

Yes, K-Fed has a girlfriend, and she’s talking.  She tells us how Kevin catching Brit breastfeeding little Jayden after wandering around the house with a vodka and coke, and how that last straw effectively ended the marriage.  She also spills on how Brit drives around in her car without locking them into their car seats (see the above photo) and leaves them both by and at the pool unsupervised.  Nicole says:

“He never shouts and screams about Britney in front of me. He does speak openly about his concerns for his children though.” According to Nicole, Kevin is especially worried about the damage Britney’s lifestyle is doing to their sons.

She reveals: “I was with Kevin on Monday morning when his kids turned up after spending time with Britney. He was overjoyed to see them, but deeply concerned about what they’d been through.

“On Monday he was treating Jayden for pink eye (conjunctivitis), and was worried Britney was to blame. He told me if they had joint custody he’d need two days just to get the children settled down and calm again after their stint away with Britney. He says she keeps them up and has no fixed routine which makes them over-stressed, over-tired and desperate for attention.

“He has tried to get Britney to change her ways, but gets nowhere. He gets so upset when the kids are with her that he won’t switch on the TV as he knows there will be news footage of her with them in LA.

“He can’t bear to see them looking stressed, traumatised and disorientated as she carts them off on another jaunt around town, seemingly for no reason.

“That’s one of the key reasons why he went for custody in court.”

But wait, there’s more…

I’m going to admit that I barely know who these guys are (Brody is the son of perpetually surprised Olympian Bruce Jenner), so go ahead and laugh at me now.  Apparently, that’s Brody on the left and Frankie on the right.

I just wanted to say that perhaps the wrong guy dressed up as Batman.

 

It would seem that Amy Winehouse’s European tour has hit a rough spot.  After a few successful concert dates in Europe, the beehive hit Zurich, and Zurich has hit back.  I had to translate the site (don’t be too impressed, I used Google), but even in strange translator jargon you can tell that the concert totally sucked, in any language.  (the above photo is not from the tour)

The review had what I assume are nice things to say about her voice:

And a man sings. So nice that he has almost no man can be. The voice of this powerful, unusually black soul voice that seems to be the only institution in the system to Amy Wine House, which still rely on. A body with a life of its own. Drum around a living corpse.

But they had what I think is a very colorful description of how Amy presented herself onstage, and in this I think the English translation sums it up:

And then they arrived, the little person with a big hairdo, is because in a long white Strickpulli, plucks it around, shivering, wipes always with the back of the hand over the nose, drink, drink, drink, it looks alternately like wine and Gin Tonic, weeps incessantly that her facial make-over runs, scrapes, yawns, sits down to the stage, that microphone out repeatedly running away. From the twisted mind of the famous black bars, we usually see only the white. A man toils. This is in large Art-Deco-Lettern her name on a mitternachtsblauen Rüschenvorhang. To the girl at least knows his name yet.

(btw, “man” here seems to be referring to Amy herself, in the “mankind” sense of the word.)

Crying, snotting, drinking, makeup running, yawning, sitting.  Yeah, sounds like the kind of event I want to shell out big bucks for.  They also say that:

Amy wants to leave, which is away from the first sound clear. Yet seldom has a man so genuine disgust in front of the audience and a so-total ignorance of everything except the drink in his hand experiences.

Britain’s answer to Janis Joplin and Mama Cass is ruining her life.  She admits she has a problem, but thus far refuses to do anything about it.  I sincerely hope she can get some help (and dump that husband…she’s to blame for her problems, but he sure doesn’t help) before it is too late.

Did anyone else think of this song when Brit cussed these lines at a reporter today:  “Eat it, lick it, snort it, f**k it!”  Seriously, her little fit of temper fits perfectly.  And she may not have actually said it in this tempo, but in my head she did, and after all, that’s what matters.

Here’s what came to my mind…make up your own post, it isn’t hard to find the lyrics that fit Brit’s life:

But wait, there’s more…