Oh Lord, Won’t You Buy Britney A Mercedes-Benz? Oh Wait…Forget It, She Can Buy Her Own
Somehow this doesn’t seem fair. Britney has more money than she knows what to do with, and can just go down to the local Mercedes dealer and walk off the lot with a new Mercedes AMG SL65, with a V-12 and 604 horsepower. She’s got tons of money to throw at this and at partying and drugs (there’s a hearing today on that, y’all) and about a bazillion Fraps and bags of Cheetos, but I can’t get a decent-sized vehicle to drive out of state to visit my father (from whom I am not estranged, mainly because I didn’t do anything stupid to drive a wedge between us).
V-12?  604 horsepower? Brit probably doesn’t even know what that means. The salesman who drew up her paperwork probably made a killing on commission…he could have told her the glove compartment dispenses Starbucks and the exhaust shoots out candy canes, and she would have believed him plus signed up for the McDonald’s Drive-Thru discount. She probably thinks there are 604 My Little Ponies under the hood making it go fast. What gas price crunch? She runs over a pap’s foot with that thing, it’ll be halfway down the street before he even realizes it is gone.
Look at all those guys standing there watching. They’re probably thinking about how much scrubbing they’re going to have to do on the seats in her trade-in after she’s drove it around all summer with no underwear on. Did she ever wash the Starbucks off that thing?
Do they give out cookies in car dealerships now? That’s probably why she decided to trade…look, free cookies!
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a four-door used Cherokee? My dad’s out of state and he wants to see me…
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Besides the dented fender, what was wrong with the old one? Too much blood on the tires?
My guess is that her old car looks much like my current car. The backseat looks like a war zone. Old McDonalds bags, lollipop sticks, socks, dolls, Bratz feet, crayons stuck to the upholstery — and that’s only with ONE kid.
Yeah, if mama had the money, mama would certainly go out buy herself a new Camry, even without the added incentive of free cookies.
Comment by crazymom — November 8, 2007 @ 3:04 pm
I haven’t taken the time to do the research myself, but I read that the new car is a two-seater. In other words, no room for kid seats in the back. In other words, is she TRYING to get rid of her kids, and plans on not having them around?
Comment by Mitsu — November 8, 2007 @ 4:51 pm
Nothing was wrong with the old one. That’s the problem.
You know, back when she was actively working, I’d say if she wanted a new Mercedes, then great. She earned it. She may not have been all that talented at anything other than looking sexy, but at least she was doing something for her paycheck.
Now, she’s just wandering around lost, stoned, drunk, and Frapped, while living off an income of over $700,000 a month, saving none of it, and wasting it on partying and drugs and a new Mercedes when there was nothing wrong with the old one…didn’t she just buy it?
And those of us doing an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay can’t get a break. There’s something wrong with the world today.
Comment by k — November 8, 2007 @ 4:54 pm
Pictures I’ve found show a rear seat that folds up out of the way.
She has another Mercedes, though, a black one.
I’ll bet Kevin is worried sick about those boys. We’ll find this car wrapped around a tree, mark my words.
Comment by k — November 8, 2007 @ 5:07 pm
Yeah it’s kind of scary to think of someone that lost driving a 600+ horsepower vehicle, isn’t it? I predict that she’ll drive through the front of a Starbucks within 7 months.
Comment by Mitsu — November 8, 2007 @ 6:15 pm
Maybe her and Nick Hogan Bollea Whatever could carpool to Les Deux. Oh wait, he’s in jail.
Comment by crazymom — November 9, 2007 @ 2:54 pm