Britney Spears Knocked Up AGAIN? Someone Needs Mandatory Sterilization
Heaven only knows if this is true, but rumors abound that Britney Spears is pregnant again. Hell why not, she did a great job the first two times. Total success I say.
The always accurate, never false InTouch Magazine’s lead story this week is Brit-Brit is preggo with JR Rotem’s baby. They are citing email exchanges with her friends as the damning proof of her fertility, which are said to contain ultra-sounds. Apparently, JR Rotem, that fat-faced producer scum she was hanging out with is the father. InTouch says he admits it. Well, you know what they say, admitting you have a problem is half the battle. And if Britney’s pregnant, we have a problem.
“It’s true,” he says. On November 16, she proudly e-mailed a copy of the ultrasound to her inner circle. For all her recent troubles, she seems convinced that having another baby will turn her life around — and she believes that J.R. will make a great father, even though he explicitly talked about their sex life in Blender magazine earlier this year. “Britney’s not looking for another husband,” an insider says. “But she does like having a man in her life.”
Seriously, if this is true, and it could go 50/50 either way, this would be an act of terrorism against responsibility. It would be on scale with some of the worst atrocities known to mankind. The UN Council on Domestic Responsibility is having a special meeting at this very moment to decide how to react if this is true. I have it on good authority that the National Guard is standing by with authorization of the leaders of the free world to deal with this event using the most extreme measures.
The potential magnitude of this horror can not be underestimated. We all must brace ourselves for the worst.
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nah - don’t believe it. You can’t get ultrasounds at 4 weeks. Unless they have new technology that I was not privy to.
Comment by ebayer — November 28, 2007 @ 11:23 am
good lord.
She’s becoming the Pete Doherty or Amy Winehouse of childbearing. Like in it’s obvious that they have a problem but they just can’t seem to stop.
Comment by crazymom — November 28, 2007 @ 11:34 am
supposedly her flunky minder Osama Lufti called Ryan Seacrest to deny this story as b.s. (per Perez).
B.S. - that’s irony for you!
Comment by D — November 28, 2007 @ 11:50 am
Well, I had an ultrasound at about five weeks, and this was back in the early nineties. Tiny, but he was there.
But it’s hilarious how these papers look for baby bumps at four to five weeks pregnant!
Comment by k — November 28, 2007 @ 2:06 pm
Oops!
The celebrity world has dodged a bullet, it seems.
“Telltale bump” — it’s telling allright, but not of pregnancy, it appears.
In other news, Perez sez that Paris Hilton told Ellen DeGeneres that SHE (Paris, not Ellen) would like to have a kid.
Yeah, and if everyone jumped off a cliff would you do that too?
Oh wait, I’m making that sound like it would be a BAD thing.
Comment by crazymom — November 28, 2007 @ 2:21 pm
Even if this turns out to be false (and I think it is…this magazine isn’t exactly Newsweek), how long will it be until it IS true?
And the telltale bump? Too many venti Fraps with whip. She’s going to give birth to a short vanilla latte.
Comment by k — November 28, 2007 @ 4:56 pm
I have seen the future for little JJ and SP, and it’s not beautiful. I predict addiction problems and disastrous attention-seeking behaviors, and possible suicide attempts. Oh and they’ll both be gay, and not happy about it.
Comment by Mitsu — November 29, 2007 @ 10:18 am
hey my sis is acting just like her and crap she has to and now one more on the way…i am a fan of brit and if thin thay peopl shout leave her a lone she is doing good now and i think that if people left her alone that she would of not had that break down that she had
Comment by dianna — March 24, 2008 @ 1:52 am