GlossLip, Celebrity Gossip From Our Lips To Yours

12/18/2007 (6:46 pm)

Monster From Cloverfield Finally Revealed, Maybe

There’s a new monster movie coming out in January by Lost creator JJ Abrams called Cloverfield. Using viral marketing and annoying secretiveness they have generated an absurd amount of interest. Except for me, I don’t really care. The best Godzilla movies were made long ago and no amount of cgi is going to change that. The film is set in New York and mimics the 9/11 terrorist attacks New Yorkers endured, including insulting scenes of the Statue of Liberty being raped by a big skyscraper sized gila monster. I am against raping large historic figures, even those given to us by those cheese-eating Francophiles.

Anyways, many a rumor has been generated about what kind of monster will eat NY in this new movie, as Abrams has hinted his inspiration came after visiting Japan and seeing a Godzilla-type creature with his son. Who knows if any of that is true. But, after doing some extensive and exhaustive investigation I have discovered what I think might be the monster. There is very little warning I can give you for what you are about to witness and I am sorry for those with weak hearts who may be stricken by sudden heart failure, but rest assured, this is only a photo and there is no real danger from the monster known as Brooke Hogan.

Sadly, just moments after this photo was taken, the innocent human standing next to Brooke was eaten. Remember, Hollywood is a dangerous place.

brooke.jpg

Posted by D
Filed under: Blockbusters, Brooke Hogan, Crazies

7 Comments »

  1. That was retarded. I can’t believe you bother to write because you suck at it.

    Comment by Pat — December 18, 2007 @ 7:58 pm

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  2. Pat, don’t hold back, tell us how you really feel.

    Comment by D — December 18, 2007 @ 8:10 pm

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  3. lame.

    Comment by jay — December 19, 2007 @ 11:06 am

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  4. There is? This is the first I’m hearing about it.

    So much for marketing.

    Comment by k — December 19, 2007 @ 11:46 pm

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  5. ‘Francophile’ is one who admires the French and all things French. Not the French themselves. The French themselves are usually called ‘the French.’

    Comment by Steveuk — December 20, 2007 @ 9:45 am

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  6. Dude u absolutely suck for writing this!!

    Comment by London — January 20, 2008 @ 4:00 am

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  7. Acting cool huh? you failed. :)

    Comment by null — January 21, 2008 @ 8:26 am

    8.  

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