Word on the internets is that, for the first time in its 80-year history, the Academy Awards could be cancelled because of the ongoing (and going and going) writer’s strike:

Oscar producer Gil Cates insists that isn’t going to happen. ”The show is going on,” he says. ”I’m looking forward to it. We’re on schedule and, hallelujah, I can’t wait until the 24th.” Good news, right? Except that the Globes insisted that the show was going on too, and look how that turned out. ”If this is still not settled in a month, we should boycott the Oscars,” Don Cheadle tells EW. ”We have to be consistent. We can’t go, ‘Well, the Oscars is a bigger show and it is more important so we should go to that one but not the Globes.’ I kinda feel like all shows should be boycotted to drive the point home.”

As you may (or may not) know, the Golden Globes, Oscar’s red-headed stepchild, was cancelled because of the strike, reduced from a glitz-filled champagne-fueled televised party to an hour-long press conference preceded by a Dateline NBC show featuring the strike. Oh, how fun. I’ll be sure and break out the popcorn and hot cocoa for that one.

If cancelling the Golden Globes and turning it a press conference is akin to cancelling the high school prom and announcing the King and Queen over the PA during first hour announcements, then cancelling the Oscars, to the entertainment world, is like planning all your life for a Cinderella-style wedding at a five-star resort only to show up and be taken to the Justice Of The Peace with your future mother-in-law and her dog.

To make a long story short, if the awards were to go on, host Jon Stewart would be basically left to either write his own jokes or improvise an hours-long telecast shown around the world. (And frankly, I’ve never quite understood comedians’ reluctance to write their own material…when they started out, they surely didn’t have a staff of writers, did they? Aren’t they used to writing their own stuff?) Actors, most of whom are themselves members of unions such as the Screen Actors Guild (and yes, some of them are members of the Writer’s Guild), are refusing en masse to cross the picket lines to attend the ceremony. ABC, who is set to televise the show, is ready to pull the plug if it looks like there will be an empty auditorium, although some reports say that they are willing to wait a while to see if the strike ends in a relatively quick hurry. And studio bigwigs are content to continue golfing and receiving massages, perfectly willing to wait out the strike in relative comfort, while the struggling writer who is burning through what little savings he has is wondering just how to pay the rent this month and still have gas to drive to the picket lines. (Haven’t I been saying that for a few months now? I believe I have.)

However, the complacent attitude of the studios might come back to bite them in the behind, because most ad spots for the telecast have already been sold, most for upwards of a million dollars each, and advertisers are starting to get antsy about whether or not their ads will even air. Millions of dollars in ad revenue are on the line, and I have a feeling that is what it is taking to make the head honchos sit up and take notice. The faithful employee of the studio might be freezing on the picket line, wondering if he can afford to eat this month, but there’s ad money at stake! Cancel the champagne lunch, we’ve got a crisis on our hands!

To actors who have waited years for an Oscar moment, the news that the show could be cancelled must be a blow. I mean, I know that acting is not curing cancer, but it would suck to put in years, even decades, of work, only to be told that what could be your big night might be reduced to a nameless announcer reading your name off a card at a press conference. To think that you could join the ranks of famous winners such as Clark Gable, Audrey Hepburn, James Stewart, Vivien Leigh, Laurence Olivier, Julie Andrews, Jack Lemmon, Katharine Hepburn, and Anthony Hopkins, then learn that your moment in the spotlight has been stolen because the writers and studio honchos can’t seem to sit at a table with some coffee and donuts and come to a decent agreement over an honest day’s wages for an honest day’s work.

However, if the ceremony is cancelled, winners this year could take heart in knowing that the very first Academy Awards, held back in 1929, was the only one (thus far) not to be broadcast in some way; and the entire ceremony, not including dinner, took about five minutes to complete. In fact, the very first person to receive an Academy Award didn’t even show up to collect it; Emil Jannings, winner of Best Actor, had decided to return to Germany before the ceremony. Plus, the ceremony was held in May, but the winners had been announced back in February, so he already knew that he had won and collected his statuette beforehand. Douglas Fairbanks and William C. deMille handed out all the awards after dinner at the Roosevelt Hotel, and the whole thing was a very low-key affair. And another bit of information…in 1935, writer Dudley Nichols refused his screenplay award for The Insider because, you guessed it, the Writer’s Guild was on strike at the time (of course, back then, I don’t think television writers were included in the guild, and it was still the Screen Writers Guild at the time, not becoming the WGA until 1954).

But here’s the real question…if the Oscars are cancelled, do you care? I’ll admit, I haven’t watched the Oscar telecast in years. It just isn’t relevant to my life. Why should I care who wins Best Actor or what wins Best Picture? It does not influence my thoughts about my entertainment choices one bit. I’m not one of those sheeple who must see a movie based on its winning Best Picture or because it has a Best Actress nominee in it. And while I am a detail person when it comes to my movies, noticing things like set design and costuming (hey, it’s the curse of the terminal ADD), I am not making my viewing choices simply because the Academy handed out a statuette for Costume Design to this or that movie.

I’m not trying to belittle the hard work put into movies by actors, directors, makeup artists, writers, and the like. I know they work hard and to be nominated is a great honor. And it would be a shame if their awards ceremony was to be cancelled. I’m just saying that my choices are not influenced by nominations, therefore I am probably not the viewer that they are trying to reach by putting “ACADEMY AWARD NOMINEE” on the DVD case. I’m capable of making up my own mind, thanks.

Plus, let’s face it…the ceremony is usually an hours-long snoozefest. I’m not saying winners don’t deserve their time in the spotlight after all the work they do, and I don’t mind acceptance speeches (even the long ones), but all the filler in between is just boring. Stale jokes and overdone musical numbers? If I want to see that, I’m sure I can find a local high school putting on a production of The Mikado.

So, while advertisers, ABC, and nominated actors are wringing their hands and swigging Maalox, wondering if their showcase ceremony is even going to have a life this year, I’m sure I’m not the only one out in the Real World wondering just what the fuss is about. Yes, I hope the writers and studios settle this stupid strike once and for all, and soon, if for no other reason than innocent workers on productions are being affected through no fault of their own (as happens in any strike, from Hollywood writers to the automobile industry). And yes, I’d like to see the ceremony go on, mainly for nostalgia and to give those who have worked hard a chance in the sun.

But will it affect my life if it doesn’t happen? I’ll let you know after I get done paying my own mortgage and buying shoes for my kids and trying to get supper on the table in a timely manner. Sorry, but life goes on, and I’ve got one to live.