(sorry, had to say it)

Wait, no, don’t say anything, I’m not listening, I can’t hear you, LaLaLaLaLa.

Further, I would like to believe that Adnan is actually good for Britney, because she’ll try to pull herself together if only to look good in front of him (honest to god sometimes a crush can be really good for borderline mental instability, not kidding), and that it’s a good thing for her to be involved with someone who at least has one foot in the “real world.”

Is this really, absolutely, completely impossible? He doesn’t seem to have sold her out so far, after all. Sure, Finalpixx seemed to be the only agency that got pics of them on their little retreat, but they weren’t terribly revealing, and we don’t know that she’s not cooperating with that anyway. She could have a kickback arrangement going with them. A certain other website certainly seems to be over their love affair with her, most likely because she has opted out of the exclusive arrangement she had with them. They certainly sound like a jealous, spurned lover, if you ask me.

As for the reports that she’s thinking of converting to Islam and running off to Pakistan with him, well, he’s obviously NOT a Muslim - what Muslim wears a cross around their neck? - and he’s originally from Afghanistan, not Pakistan. So this seems like typical UK tabloid fiction to me, just like the reports that she took a horse trailer full of meds the night of the breakdown.

I’m not worried about the wife, they don’t seem to have a “real” marriage in the sense that we like to think of marriages. She apparently has no say in his love life, it’s simply a marriage of convenience.

Clearly Adnan isn’t a bastion of virtue and clean living, but then neither is Britney. It’s not like she’s some unsullied farm girl whose purity might be impaired by consorting with a nefarious bad boy. I think she likes bad boys, anyway.

Further, I actually think that Britney’s mental illness is not as severe as some would have us think. I think she certainly has something going on, but it’s exacerbated by a selfish, narcissistic personality and she’s just never had anyone be able to tell her what to do and is in her own little power bubble. I actually think Britney is capable of making her own choices, as much as we all might disagree with them. This is a bit of a shift from my previous speculation that she could even be schizophrenic, but I have a good reason. There is a certain ex-bodyguard of hers that my sister is good friends with…I don’t want to identify him because I don’t want to get anybody in trouble (he was in the media and his name is known to the public at large). But my sister has known him well, for years. She got together with him about three months ago. He wouldn’t say much about Britney, said he wasn’t allowed to, but he did say a couple of things: that Kevin is a big asshole, and that Britney’s mental health, although unstable, is not nearly as bad as the media makes it out to be. She is largely the victim of disapproval over her choices, not out-and-out batshit crazy. So, there is the word from, if not the horse’s mouth, at least from the stable boy’s mouth.

Ultimately, as much as I dislike Britney, I am hoping this all turns out well or at least okay. I think there was some sympathy for her that got sparked in me by the Dr. Phil thing. It just seems so terrible that everybody in her life is out to capitalize on her. I’ve never liked her music, am not a fan in any sense of the word, but watching this drama play out is engrossing and fascinating, and I can’t help but take an interest.