Oprah Winfrey To Get Her OWN Network
The First Church Of Our Lady Of The Massive Head is going to get its own network, starting in 2009. I can hear the flocking Oprahloonies singing and genuflecting in rapturous praise from here:
Ms. Winfrey and Discovery Communications said on Tuesday that they would jointly create OWN, the Oprah Winfrey Network, a cable television channel to make its debut in 2009 on what is now the Discovery Health Channel. Discovery Health is available in more than 70 million homes.
The new channel will not initially carry “The Oprah Winfrey Show,” the top-rated syndicated daytime talk show featuring Ms. Winfrey as host. But Ms. Winfrey said that she had the option to end that show in 2010 or 2011 and could move the talk show to the new channel then.
“Eventually that will happen, we hope,” Ms. Winfrey said in a conference call with reporters on Tuesday.
Oh, trust me, I hope that too. Maybe she’ll get her own satellite package and then I can opt out of having her show on my television at all. Not that I ever watch her televised cultfest, because I’m afraid whatever laser beams originate from the broadcast will shoot into my home and I’ll become a brain-dead Oprahloonie too, unable to do anything except what The Great Massive-Headed One orders me to do.
She is excited about this new venture, mainly because she’ll have control over Every. Little. Thing, unlike when she was involved with Oxygen, where she had to, gasp, be responsible to somebody other than herself:
Asked about the difference between Oxygen, which was sold to NBC in October for $925 million, and the latest venture, Ms. Winfrey said Oxygen “did not reflect my voice.” That assertion is subject to interpretation, however; Ms. Winfrey was host of a 12-part series called “Oprah Goes Online” on Oxygen. The show was sort of a primer on the Internet. She also was frequently referred to as a co-founder of the channel in news reports at the time.
“I was not a participant in the development of the channel,” she said. “That’s why after a couple of board meetings I took myself off the board.”
With the Oprah Winfrey Network, “I will have editorial control,” she said. “I have a vision for what we want to accomplish with this network.”
Dun-dun-dunnnnnnn. That is Oprah-ese for she wants every man, woman, and child within satellite reach to not be able to walk, talk, breathe, eat, sleep, buy books, raise children, wipe their behinds, or have sex unless it is done according to her “voice”. Let’s face it, there are people out there who do everything according to the First Book Of Oprah, Chapter One, Verse One: “Thou shalt have no other thoughts other than mine.”
Oh, and if it couldn’t possibly get any better, guess what? It does!
In addition to continuing her syndicated talk show, Ms. Winfrey said she would also continue to produce programming for other outlets. A new reality show, “Oprah’s Big Give,” is scheduled to begin on ABC in March.
Gag gag gag. I wish I hadn’t eaten my supper before reading this article. Why does she feel the need to document and chronicle every so-called charitable thing she does with cameras? So she can pull out the footage to prove just what a wonderful and generous person she is? I’ll bet the people who have been recipients of her so-called “charity” beg to differ, especially those who have been on her show. She needs to shut up and take notes from Johnny Depp.
And oh the humanity…the Discovery Channel? Home of the almighty fine and deliciously yummy Mike Rowe? Perish the thought! A dirty job, indeed!
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Appalling awful.
Oprah that is.
Comment by D — January 15, 2008 @ 11:08 pm
the big o was a news anchor/ talk show host in my town before she left to go to chicago. i liked her when she was here, but she certainly has gotten a huge ego along with bank account since those days. i can’t figure out how she got so popular and influential. it must be her name”oprah”. they made a big deal of her unusual name and she took off here.
Comment by sally — January 16, 2008 @ 1:11 am
how long until she asks her faithful desciples to drink some “kool-aid”? sounds like some freaky oprah cult network for people who don’t know how to have their own thoughts or opinions.
Comment by D-Bomb — January 16, 2008 @ 9:53 pm
[…] go through, it would be the best thing since Christmas. I’m serious. Dr. Phil is the Head Disciple of the First Church Of Our Lady Of The Massive Head, and frankly I’m so sick of his mug that […]
Pingback by GlossLip » Is Dr. Phil Being Investigated For Practicing Without A License? — January 17, 2008 @ 9:05 am
http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=news/special_reports&id=5926807
January 31, 2008 — She is the third headmistress
to leave Oprah’s school in South Africa since it
opened last year.
Lisa Thomas-Laury put an entire new spin on this
Doperah Winfrey sex scandal last night.
Doperah is telling the world this local woman
is the problem but Lisa Thomas made it seem
that Doperah is going off half-cocked again
and playing the blame game without knowing
what the hell she is talking about.
Well that certainly is a surprise !
I’m sorry but when you have 3 hand-picked
head-mistresses in a year you either are
doing a very poor job “hand-picking” them
ORR they aren’t the problem and Doperah
should probably stop running her mouth and
start taking some of the blame herself for
once in her life.
http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=special_coverage&id=3658204
I also just noticed that Lisa Thomas has been
a personal friend of Doperah Winfrey for over
20 years and she probably did not do this
interview on a whim.
Doperah is a VERY petty, vindictive, woman and
I suspect this friendship will be over as soon
as as she gets wind of this interview.
Major props to Lisa Thomas-Laury for knowing
that and doing the right thing anyway !
Nomvuyo Mzamane made a very compelling case for
herself and whatever the problem is with that
school, I doubt that she was the cause of it
or involved in anything that could have been
prevented.
Hopefully the truth will start with Lisa Thomas
in Philadelphia and resonate across the entire
country and expose Doperah Winfrey for the self-
righteous fraud that she truly is.
And I hope Nomvuyo Mzamane sues her useless
butt for a ton of money too.
I wish people would stop buying all the crap
Doperah is constantly selling and start
thinking for themselves.
Hugs and Kisses Everybody !
Lois
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PhiladelphiaNewsMedia/
Comment by Lois Little — February 1, 2008 @ 11:21 am