Britney Works Out With A Chair, And GlossLip’s Britney Hypothesis
I know this is sort of a lame Brit post, but it’s actually sort of normal behavior for her, so I thought it would be nice to include her doing something NOT train-wrecky for a change. And I’ll be honest, I needed a way to introduce my latest Brit hypothesis.
It seems on Sunday night, Brit went to the Millennium Dance Studio to do some choreography work for a new video:
“She is working on the choreography for her song ‘Hot as Ice,’” [owner Robert] Baker said, “She rehearsed an amazing routine with a chair.”
Well, that’s sort of normal, right? After all, Brit is an entertainer, and she has a CD to promote, so of course she’s going to rehearse and work on her dance moves. Normal stuff.
Of course, after she left she asked for her buddy Filipe, who was one of the paps she invited into her house over the weekend for a little party, at which it is alleged that pal Osama bin Loopy showed them a copy of a restraining order she’s taken out against Anon Brazilianwax. Problem is, the police don’t know anything about such an order, and neither does Anon:
Ghalib, the paparazzo who has been Spears’s near-constant companion in recent weeks, shot back, “I am only now becoming aware of what is being said. I hope to be back home in Los Angeles soon and to be in contact with Miss Spears.” (The L.A. police and sheriff’s departments both said no emergency protective order had been issued.)
Hmm. Okay, we’re sliding back into not-quite-normal territory. Why make up a restraining order, if in fact that is what happened? Or are the police not allowed to say?
So that brings me to the GlossLip Britney Experiment.
As you know, Brit was caught out early last Thursday morning shopping at Kitson when she had a little, um, accident. Now, I understand that these things happen when you aren’t quite expecting it (although, let’s face it, some PANTS of some sort would have been nice). And it’s been fairly well-documented that Brit’s mental state isn’t the best at the moment, with possible bipolar problems which could have been caused or aggravated by post-natal depression. And women everywhere know that our hormones can cause us to do some pretty strange things, even without other mental health issues to deal with.
So I sat and made up little calendars for January and February (I may update them or post different ones, I’ll let you know). On them, I charted when I assumed her “little visitor” came to call (I’m going to assume early Thursday morning, since it does seem to have caught her off-guard). Assuming a five-day cycle, those dates are in red. I also charted “no-no days”, which are possible ovulation times and includes a cushion of two days before and after possible ovulation (generally around the fourteenth day). Those are “no-no days”, which means no zexytime, at least not without protection! And days in pink are just counting down a generally assumed twenty-eight day cycle.
Now, before you skewer me and roast me and leave nasty comments, let me explain: My hypothesis is that Brit’s possible mental problems are made worse by hormonal changes relating to her monthly cycle. Right now, Brit seems happy and relatively normal. According to my calendar, she’s at the beginning of her cycle. This is when we, as women, usually feel good emotionally and our hormones are pretty stable (now, I’m using generalizations, so please no scathing comments about your own personal irregularities). Once we get to around fourteen days, ovulation starts, PMS may begin to show, the hormones start to get going, and we start to feel different, crampy, just a little off, not quite ourselves.
As we get closer to the end of the cycle, PMS really starts to wind up, and there are a multitude of symptoms that start to show…irritability, pain, anger, hot flashes, skin problems, anxiety, panic attacks, crying, and many others. Plus, the hormonal cycle can even trigger bipolar symptoms in bad cases, or mimic bipolar symptoms in those who don’t already suffer from it. And then right before the cycle starts over again, you’ve got a rush of hormones that overload one’s system, possibly causing very erratic behavior (like her behavior shortly before and during the Kitson’s spree). And remember, the ill-fated court non-appearance happened towards the end of her cycle, when hormones are likely to be doing all sorts of funky things.
If Brit truly is bipolar, and symptoms do show a possibility (but remember, I’m not a doctor), then could the fluctuating hormones of the menstrual cycle be exacerbating the mental health problem? I want to keep an eye on things for the next month and see what happens. If my theory is right, expect more drama around Valentine’s Day…but since her next court hearing is February 19, she just might be more hormonally stable by then (although mentally is still in doubt), perhaps enough to go in and actually attend the court proceedings.
I’m not doing this to be snarky or make light of her mental state. I’m truly and genuinely interested in what is going on. Plus…let’s face it, somebody needs to take an interest in her other than as a walking ATM.
UPDATE: As of 5:00 PM ET, Britney has left the scheduled deposition at the offices of MVKaplan, Kevin’s attorney (I totally forgot about this, I need a PDA…anybody want to chip in?). According to her lawyers, Sorrell Trope and Tara Scott (I thought they were dropping her?), she was in “good spirits”. She stayed nearly two-and-a-half hours, after showing up almost two hours late to the last one and staying only fifteen minutes. Maybe I’m on to something?
The deposition is scheduled to last at least a couple of days.
UPDATE: OK! Magazine says Brit looked “furious” upon leaving the deposition, and that Kaplan didn’t even touch some subjects. She is expected back tomorrow.
UPDATE: I’ve been looking at that picture, and it finally hit me who she reminds me of in it. A white Janet Jackson! Does anybody else see it? Or is it just me….(probably)
Pink Stripe WordPress Theme Designed by Joni Mueller &
I had the same thoughts, so your comments may well be timely. I also wonder — and have wondered — how much she is affected by the moon.. we had a full moon Saturday night, the night she stayed up all evening with the paps at her house and seemed so restless she just wanted to drive around aimlessly listening to music and talking to anyone she could find, which always seems to be the paps these days.
What is sad beyong belief is this girl has NO FRIENDS… I don’t consider Sam her friend, I consider him her Howard Stern and that scares me for her.
Comment by Rappy — January 21, 2008 @ 5:10 pm
RE: The “Restraining Order”
As TMZ so brilliantly pointed out, courts do not issue restraining orders against those who take pictures of you and then offer to sell them to the highest bidder. If that were the case, half of Hollywood would have restraining orders against the other half. Not to mention the fact that a restraining order would go pretty far in solving a lot of Pamela Anderson’s problems, no?
2) RE: Her “monthly bill”
I think you may actually be on to something. We should watch the PMS days carefully to see just how erratic her behavior gets. Did you do the “backwards count” to see when the “Hostage Incident” happened? I’m curious.
Comment by crazymom — January 21, 2008 @ 5:45 pm
crazymom: I actually did do the backwards count, and if I remember right the hostage thing occurred the night of January 3, which would have been around the no-no time block (14 days previous by my count, but I could be off a day or two).
The restraining order thing…I can’t help but think Anon is a bit controlling, considering that he has been pulling her around by the wrist. Did you see the scene in the restaurant the night of the Kitson’s spree? There were overturned tables and chairs and a rather angry-looking Anon leading a rather subdued-looking Brit by the wrist. I mean, I know you can’t get an order because somebody ripped you off, but maybe there’s more to the story.
Or…maybe Brit made it up.
Comment by k — January 21, 2008 @ 8:25 pm
Rappy, just what I was thinkin’, “I consider him her Howard Stern”. Exactly!
Anyway, Britney, we love you and yeah, I am not going to harsh out on you with armchair judgements of a very complex emotion and all those attacks.
I get it…
best,
DM
Comment by Douglas Mays — January 21, 2008 @ 10:18 pm
Oh, regardng the thought of ‘mental illness’. Hhhmmm…OK, with my experience on the subject (I’m not an MD, but do have professional and domestic experience in the field), I would say that Britney might be a little ‘bi-polar’. BUT not as much as people will want to believe for sake of justifying her behaviour.
A little bi-polar, sure thing. BUT her behaviour is much more environmentally caused, not congenitally (just a bit…). Situations that her popularty has put her in can get that bi-po pendulum swinging pretty far. If her situation was different in life, one would not really notice any ‘bi-po’ features.
It is a deep story. I wonder what truths are lurking underneath those sunshades and shaved head….
DM
Comment by Douglas Mays — January 21, 2008 @ 11:31 pm
Well, neither D nor I are justifying her behavior. She needs to get help so that she can take appropriate steps towards regaining her life back.
And I disagree…I do think that if she were Britney the Wal-Mart cashier, or Britney the Bored Housewife, people would still notice certain things, although it might take longer or take a different form than it does with someone who has money and fame at their disposal.
Comment by k — January 22, 2008 @ 12:26 am
[…] of this, to me…a couple of weeks ago I began my “Britney Experiment”, where I charted her menstrual cycle for a month. I wanted to see if her mental problems, allegedly bipolar […]
Pingback by GlossLip » Britney Had A Bit Of An Emotional Night — January 29, 2008 @ 9:32 am
[…] I tie this very irrational decision to my theory on the effects of her menstrual cycle to her possible bipolar […]
Pingback by GlossLip » Britney’s Pal Says Her Family Doesn’t Fit In Any More, Especially Not In Her New Car — January 30, 2008 @ 10:12 am
[…] quieter degrees of bad. And this latest phase started a few days ago, which coincides with my theory of her ovulation times being tied to the beginning of a phase of irrational […]
Pingback by GlossLip » Britney Taken To The Hospital, Again — January 31, 2008 @ 9:56 am
[…] I tie this very irrational decision to my theory on the effects of her menstrual cycle to her possible bipolar […]
Pingback by Celebrity Blog | Babelogs | Celebrity Gossip » Blog Archive » Britney’s Pal Says Her Family Doesn’t Fit In Any More, Especially Not In Her New Car — January 31, 2008 @ 6:39 pm
[…] really gonna hit the fan tonight. Just for the record, we are on approximately Day 16 of her cycle. Posted by kFiled under: Behind The Scenes Drama, Britney Spears var zorpia_story_url = […]
Pingback by GlossLip » Good News On Britney Spears — February 1, 2008 @ 9:12 pm
[…] stick with me. I first posted this theory back on January 21, and at that time I assumed that her menstrual cycle had begun early Thursday […]
Pingback by GlossLip » Is Britney Spears Not Only Possibly Bipolar, But Hormonal As Well? — February 8, 2008 @ 10:40 am