GlossLip » Thanks, TMZ, For Filling Day 2 Of The Super Bowl Lull

01/23/2008 (8:30 am)

Thanks, TMZ, For Filling Day 2 Of The Super Bowl Lull

Tawmmy Braaaady!

â€œManBalmâ€ is your eye on sports gossip, or whatever BC Sports editor Matt Sussman finds funny, which means you probably wonâ€™t.

Eight more business days, TMZ. Eight more business days until the Super Bowl. Good work on distracting us from the fact that there’s one more football game in the season with some petty news that Tom Brady — gasp! — is a football player and sustains nagging injuries from week to week.

That’s right, Brady hurt his ankle a little bit. He was also on the injury report in last week’s AFC championship game with a shoulder injury, and the other quarterback didn’t even have a freakin’ ACL. This just in: football is a contact sport played by large mammals who crash into each other with hard plastic helmets.

So reporting that Tawmmy Brayyyyydy is nursing injuries from football games two days ago is a good start, TMZ. Digging up that Kevin Faulk is recovering from a banged-up knee just doesn’t have the same panache. But we need more. Since these stories come in waves, and usually the next business day is used for people to say “Okay, this really isn’t a big deal,” it will take exactly four more BOMBSHELL OMG BREAKING stories to fill the space until Super Bowl XLII.

Thursday: Giants defensive end Michael Strahan is found sleeping with a stripper in his New York apartment.

(Next day aftermath: turns out, he’s divorced.)

Next Monday: New England head coach Bill Belichick is caught spying again when he plans cameras all over the New York Giants locker room and the nearby hallways.

(Next day aftermath: those were actually security cameras installed when the stadium was built. Bill Belichick only has the feed of the cameras in the women’s bathroom. Disturbing, but well within NFL rules.)

Next Wednesday: Injured Giants tight end Jeremy Shockey is arrested for trying to solicit oral sex from an undercover cop late Tuesday night.

(Next day aftermath: It wasn’t Jeremy Shockey. It was Falcons defensive back Eugene Robinson. And it wasn’t late Tuesday night. It was nine years ago.)

Next Friday: Gisele Bundchen eats a cheeseburger.

(Next day aftermath: …okay, this one’s actually legit.)