An Open Letter To Nicole Richie
Dear Nicole:
You don’t know me, but I’m k, and I write for GlossLip. Wait…don’t run off! I’m not that kind of celeb reporter!
Anyway, I wanted to address the photos of you taken the other night as you and husband Joel Madden went to a party. Everyone is saying how pale you look, how thin you already are (just two weeks after little Harlow joined you!), and how they are afraid you are sliding back into some sort of bad self-image which might cause you to revisit the mindset behind those horrible skeletal photos taken of you in the time previous to your pregnancy.
People saying things like that need to back off, because they are out of line. You are a new mom, and those first few days/weeks/months with a newborn can be extremely trying. All those midnight feedings, diaper changes, walking around with a crying infant trying to get her to sleep, possibly dealing with a colicky baby, all the new worries that go through your head…I mean, come on! When I had newborns, I didn’t look my best either. Nobody does. It’s called life.
But personally, I think you look fine in the photos taken the other night, other than perhaps needing a bit of sleep (hey, I need a bit of sleep, and I have teenagers instead of infants!). And I do want to say that I thought you absolutely glowed when you were pregnant. You looked healthy and happy, really for the first time in years.
So let’s take a moment and revisit what you said during your pregnancy:
She recently revealed her baby had saved her life. “I owe this baby everything and I have a responsibility now,” she said.
“Besides being responsible for myself, I’m now responsible for someone else.
“And I have to set the right examples. I have to really be someone that I would want my child to look up to.”
I know that tackling poor body image can be rough. But you are on the right track, knowing that you now have a responsibility to your new baby girl, to be the kind of woman she would want to grow up to be. And yes…it’s hard to look at a post-pregnancy body, seeing lumps and bumps and a wrinkly peach pit where a taught tummy used to be, remembering fitting into size zero clothes, looking around at looks-obsessed Hollywood at people who’s sole purpose in life is to look good, and wondering just what is going to happen to you.
But being true to yourself and living the kind of life your daughter would want to emulate is better than all the magazine covers and press and money in the world. I’m sure your daughter will n ot want to grow up seeing her mother constantly struggle to “fit in” and be what everyone else wants her to be…she’d be much better off growing up seeing her mother be her own woman, a strong and confident person who doesn’t need to fit into some unrealistic cookie-cutter mold of Hollywood’s making.
And let’s look at what Joel had to say in his blog just a few days ago:
Me and her mother feel like the luckiest two people alive right now. This time in our life has been amazing. We both look at our little girl every single moment everyday and know there is nothing we wouldn’t do to protect her and her perfect little innocence. It seems like you turn on the tv, or get online and its all bad news.
We dont want her to know any of that yet. I actually never want her to know any of the pain and suffering we see out in the world everyday, or how harsh people can be as a result of it. Having this baby has really made me realize we all start out that way, then somewhere along the way something happens and people go one way or the other. But all started out sweet and innocent just like my little daughter.
Yes, Harlow right now is a sweet, innocent little baby. But bad things don’t just exist in the big, bald world. She doesn’t need to know the pain and agony that struggling to stay abnormally thin can bring, and you as her mother can be the greatest example she has.
You seem to be trying very hard to overcome your personal demons and I applaud you for that. Just keep trying…it’s a struggle every day, every moment, I know it is, but you can do it. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it, and don’t be afraid of making a mistake now and then. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again. I’ve always thought you were more than your party-girl persona, and I hope you can prove me right. I’m in your corner.
And don’t worry about what the press is saying about your looks right now. Between zillion-watt flashbulbs, a newborn, and sleepless nights, you’re going to look pale and tired. But so what? Personally, I think you’re beautiful. Just remember that it’s very important to keep your strength up right now, especially if you are nursing, so eat right, healthy, and often. A few extra pounds looks good on you, you know? Nice womanly curves, nothing to be ashamed of. Wear them as a badge of honor, because you earned them.
Oh, and don’t let Paris anywhere near that baby. Do you want Harlow to grow up to be her in sixteen years? Nuff said.
Write when you can!
Sincerely,
k
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K, if there were more yous an less Paris Hiltons, the world would be a beautiful place.
Wonderful post.
Comment by D — January 28, 2008 @ 6:53 pm
This was excellent. I hope someone close to her shows her this or something akin to it. (Not that it would probably be as well written) I wish her only the best and hope she and Joel distance themselves from the slippery slope of vanity that is Hollywood. Not just for Nicole’s sake but for Harlow’s as well.
Comment by Christy — January 28, 2008 @ 7:18 pm
Fantastic. This really needed to be said, thank you.
Comment by Shawnacy — January 28, 2008 @ 9:27 pm
Yes, girl power and all that.
Nicole looks fine just tired as hell. she’ll get used to that. I’m sure she won’t have trouble ditching the body image obsession for a baby which, after all, is a little more important than how she looks.
Comment by Quinn — February 11, 2008 @ 3:00 am