Let’s Help Hulk Hogan Celebrate Wine And Mirth!
 Yesterday, as most of the United States watched Eli Manning and the New York Giants take down Tom Brady and the New England Patriots, New Orleans (any more “New” names? Okay then, we can continue) took time out to have a parade, and guess who reigned as Bacchus?
Do you know what it means to be king in Orleans? Hulk Hogan, named King Bacchus by the Carnival group that first brought celebrities to lead their parades, said Friday that he was just starting to.Â
“This is better than winning the World Wrestling Federation championship and slamming Andre the Giant!” he told a small crowd of patients, parents, doctors and other employees in a parking lot outside Children’s Hospital. “It’s just now hitting me how big this is and what an honor it is.”
He styled next to a huge plaque naming him Bacchus, god of wine and mirth, held up by krewe captain Owen “Pip” Brennan. [...]
Each year the Krewe of Bacchus’ celebrity king visits Children’s Hospital to meet the patients. In a statement released Tuesday by Bacchus officials, the celebrity wrestler said one reason he accepted the offer to lead this year’s parade was Bacchus’ relationship with the hospital.
Well. Isn’t that nice. He can do good things for children in the hospital (and let me say that I in no way am belittling visiting children in the hospital), but he can’t take care of his own children or help them grow up to do things like, oh I don’t now, accept personal responsibility? Or perhaps not supply alcohol to a party that teenage son Nick was at the day of his accident which put his friend, Marine John Graziano, in the hospital with life-threatening injuries? You know the accident where Nick was found to have alcohol in his bloodstream? (Now, before anyone jumps my butt, I didn’t say Hulk gave his son a beer, just that he supplied alcohol to a party that his son was at. Any other conclusions, you’ll have to draw yourself. You see, I have to say these things so that certain people can have what I did and did not say made clear to them.)
Chairman of the Crewe of Bacchus King Committee Michael Hunt (yeah, if I had that name I would want to be called “Michael”, too) defended his choice of 1980’s has-been wrestler and drunken-driver-father as its celebrity monarch:
Hunt is clearly frustrated with the knee-jerk criticism of the selection.
“People don’t know what goes into the process,” Hunt said. “We don’t sit around toasting marshmallows. It’s a very exact science.”
Hunt explained that he and a group of advisers begin by throwing celebrity names around. Then, he said, “as arrogant as it sounds, I deem if they’re worthy.” [...]
Hunt wishes the public would trust his selection instincts. He points out that last year he presented TV mobster James Gandolfini at the height of his popularity. Though, he cryptically recalled, Gandolfini “did what most people should never do: believe that they are the god of wine.”
Hunt views the controversy surrounding his selection of Hogan as a perverse plus.
“Running Hulk Hogan is the perfect choice because it incites controversy,” he said. “Controversy isn’t always bad.”
Look up “irony” in the dictionary and you’ll find this.
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my apologies, I stopped reading when he said “exact science”
IT’S MARDI GRAS, FER CRYIN’OUT LOUD!!! DO THEY REALLY THINK I’M GOING TO BELIEVE THERE’S ANY SCIENCE (apart from the obvious chemistry) INVOLVED?
Comment by crazymom — February 4, 2008 @ 5:45 pm