Angelina, Brad, Jennifer: It’s Goin’ Down Next Week
Whoever was in charge of scheduling this little party might find him/herself out of a job on Sunday, if the Battle Of The Century erupts on Saturday. Yes, Hollywood’s weirdest triangle–Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, and Jennifer Aniston–is fixing to converge in one spot for one night only:
Angie and baby-daddy Brad Pitt are on the host committee of The Night Before—a charity event held the evening prior to the Academy Awards—but Brad’s ex-wife, Aniston, is also a hostesses with the mostest. If all parties show it cold be the climax to a colossal confrontation that began three years ago when Brad left Jen in 2005 claiming it had nothing to do with Mr. & Mrs. Smith co-star, spent the next several months denying he had any relationship with his Mr. & Mrs. Smith co-star, then proceeded to publicly, kiss, cuddle and raise half the world’s children with his Mr. & Mrs. Smith co-star. The two women have yet to meet since—yummy!
Well, well, well. I wonder just how many Rolaids ol’ Brad has consumed since learning of this little date on his calendar.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not on Team Aniston, Team Jolie, or Team Pitt. I think they’re all overpaid, narcissistic, self-important blowhards. Between Angelina’s compulsion to adopt more children than most people give birth to in a lifetime (and apparently producing more of her own biological ones as well) and her conviction that she’s the only one who can save the world, Brad’s wishy-washy approach to life, marriage, his ex-wife, and his commitment vows, and Jennifer’s inability to move on already from a two-timing, lying, hit-with-the-ugly-stick loser (and I’m not talking about Vince Vaughn), they could all disappear into the background and I wouldn’t cry.
But wait…the Battle Of The Century may not happen after all:
The annual pre-Oscars party is being held this year on Saturday, February 23, at the pool at the Beverly Hills Hotel, and three of the event’s hosts are none other than Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston. The event planner tells PageSix.com that all of the hosts have committed to hosting the fundraiser. However, don’t get too excited for the girls to finally throw down over Brad because Jen’s rep tells PageSix.com that she might not be able to attend.
Although her rep confirmed that Jen, who is currently filming Traveling in Vancouver, is on the host committee, the former Friends star “doesn’t know if her production schedule will allow her to attend.” Looks like we will have to wait and see what Jen — sorry, what her production schedule — decides.
Oh, come on, Jennifer. You’ve played the “poor jilted woman” long enough. You stay in a mindset, you start to believe it. Stop wasting your time pining after a man who thought so little of your relationship that he succumbed to She Who Must Not Be Named’s magic vajayjay. And if you really want a child bad enough, there are many children waiting to be adopted who would love a good home.
And Brad/Angelina? Yeah. Stop with the kids, already. You have enough now. Whatever Angelina is attempting to bandaid, she needs to work out some other way besides amassing a brood of children. Oh, and tell Angelina she needs to stay home and actually take care of those kids. But who am I? I believe that if a celeb has a kid, they need to drop out of sight for eighteen years.
Not that it would be such a bad thing in this case.
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To hell with Brad Pit, anyone who would dump that insanely beautiful Aniston for a nasty whore like Jolie has a special place in hell waiting for them.
She looks way to much like her father anyway. And don’t get me started on her shitty attempts to be a “humanitarian” by going over-seas to adopt a baby when the country she lives in has plenty of children who need homes. But of course that wouldn’t have been nearly as media worthy.
They can both fuck off out of the public eye for all I care.
Comment by Anonymous — February 14, 2008 @ 1:51 am
I knew I liked you for a reason. I’ve been saying that for months now:
GMTA.
Comment by k — February 14, 2008 @ 1:58 am
Xenu bless you K. You may steal me away from D yet!
The reason though? Because in the U.S. she wouldn’t have been able to have her “pick of the litter” as it were. She would have had to take whatever child was available. That might mean developmentally, physically, or emotionally disabled. On top of that the child might have been -gasp- OLD! That’s right, she might have had to adopt a child more than a year old!
Who knows, she might not have qualified at all, money might buy you a six pack of babies over-seas, but here you have to not be a fucking psycho.
Comment by Anonymous — February 14, 2008 @ 2:10 am
Oh, I’m sure D isn’t worried. She’s got that super brain, mad smart skillz, and way cool way of using her intelligence, while all I am is dead sexy. I just can’t compete with her.
I totally agree with you (you have quite a way with words, lutz). Read further in that article I linked to. I also pointed out that over here she would have to deal with birth parents who would not be so willing to hand over their child for what amounts to little more than colorful beads and shiny trinkets. In impoverished sections of the world, mothers and families don’t have the money to contest adoptions, nor do they have Larry King or the National Enquirer.
She’d also have to possibly deal with an open adoption, which her control-freak nature couldn’t handle. But two of her adopted children were over the age of two when she got them.
I’m all for adoption, but there are horror stories in the US too. And I know it’s difficult, but it can be done.
Comment by k — February 14, 2008 @ 2:20 am
As a person who was adopted, I too know it can be done. I skimmed that other article and read the comments there, the ones about the foster system pissed me off.
The foster system in the states is a fantastic thing when compared to the systems in other countries. But that kind of comparison is stupid. My earliest memories are of abuses (non-sexual in nature thankfully) I suffered in various foster homes. Saying that the children in the foster system are better off is exactly equivalent to saying: “But they’re only being abused a little bit.”
That kind of idiocy infuriates me to no end. But all of this has nothing to do with your article so I’ll let the subject drop. I get carried away when it comes to adoption and foster care. I once had to be physically restrained from strangling a man over an argument on the topic.
Comment by Anonymous — February 14, 2008 @ 2:45 am
Ah, I don’t care if the comments deviate from the article. We aren’t the Comment Nazis here!
But yeah…sometimes the comments left on certain stories can be infuriating. Drop by in the evening, after the Brangeloonies have come by to have THEIR say. I’m telling you, these fans can be out for blood.
In the meantime, thanks for being a reminder that yes, you can adopt in the US.
Comment by k — February 14, 2008 @ 7:29 am
Well, I won’t come between Anon and k, I would like to point out that I have been bashing Pittstain and Whoralina long before it was fashionable.
That said, carry on you two, you are cute together and it is VD-day!!!
Bravo k, couldn’t have said it better myself, ‘cept I do like Jennifer WAY more than the Succubus called Angelina.
Comment by d — February 14, 2008 @ 8:42 am
also, I agree complete about all the adoption stuff you both said. Angie with a disabled child? Puuuulleeeeazzze.
Comment by d — February 14, 2008 @ 8:47 am
I love it! To hell with them! Jenn Rocks!
Comment by blady02 — February 14, 2008 @ 9:52 am
What’s wrong with these haters? Angelina is the most
beautiful celebrity and Jennifer is cute but looks
like a man with a horse face.I’m surprised Brad Pitt
married her in the first place.It’s Jen’s fault Brad
left her,she cared about her career more than giving
him a child,she kept putting off starting a family
because she was making 1 million/episode of Friends.
Brad is the victim here.Now Angie cannot be a whore
just because she fell for this man.The haters who call
her a whore were probably left by their husbands too
Some people cannot stand this woman coz she has everything-a beautiful face and a hot body,fame,wealth,a happy family and Brad Pitt.
Comment by Philip — February 14, 2008 @ 9:58 am
Call me crazy but I would have loved to see that — why, if only because anyone with a computer would have built it up to be bigger than the superbowl.
It would have been interesting to see how they handled themselves, knowing that everyone was watching them and all three would have had to face what their reality without hiding behind publicists or spokespersons.
Did you ever hear of the story that before Mr. & Mrs. Smith started shooting, Jen saw Angelina somewhere and (supposedly) said “my husband is so excited that he’s going to get to work with you, he can’t wait.”
Comment by crazymom — February 14, 2008 @ 10:00 am
Yes, D and I were all over Angelina and her anti-Christ ways a long time ago.
Comment by Josh Hathaway — February 14, 2008 @ 10:34 am
Sorry, I wasn’t here then or I would have joined you.
Comment by k — February 14, 2008 @ 10:39 am
Wow, someone feed Angelina a donut! It’s scarey how far she has starved herself since Tombraider. Not that I’m a fan of the movie, but she’s starving herself.
Comment by Dan — February 14, 2008 @ 10:50 am
I was just reading an article on the internet and it stated brangelina have been listed as the most influential couple of 2007. Now I am wondering what have they influenced except cheating, attention grabbing by using the other party name (jennifer) and pretending to by humantarians. I love jennifer and feel really bad because she gets dragged into articles through no fault of her own. Will tabloids and internet articles stop dragging her in. She looks fine and has moved on, maybe the tabloids should move on as well.
Comment by jackie — February 14, 2008 @ 11:55 am
Jolie? Hot? I have never seen a picture of her where the expression on her face didn’t scream “I’m going to fuck you with a steak knife!”
You must be joking. My grandpa had a saying that he passed down to me when I was still young.
“Son, never fuck crazy, because crazy always fucks back.” Truer words were never spoken.
Comment by Anonymous — February 14, 2008 @ 12:49 pm
Yes you are a team fraudston! don’t lie. She is just draning being that is why every other man dumped her. But you her hens loves this so called triangle created by her crying wolf to mag. I bet Brad regrated marrying her what won’t ? That marriage doesn’t desrve this never ending deasise. And no man want to get to this woman. Unless he is a coketail rider too so they can live in harmony. I know you are not going to post this but anyways…
Comment by camela — February 14, 2008 @ 4:57 pm
Yes you are a team fraudston! don’t lie. She is just draning being that is why every other man dumped her. But you her hens loves this so called triangle created by her crying wolf to mag. I bet Brad regrated marrying her what man won’t ? That marriage doesn’t desrve this never ending deasise. And no man want to get to this woman unless he is a coketail rider too so they can live in harmony. I know you are not going to post this but anyways…
Comment by camela — February 14, 2008 @ 4:57 pm
Exactly the hens loves this hahahahahahaha that is what buys them to be her fans to begin with.
Comment by annon — February 14, 2008 @ 4:59 pm
how many HW actors adopted from forein countries? How many of them are known like Angie for talking about refugees children and orphans?
She can adopt from any country she wants like everybody the problem is she is Angie and your mind is twisted with that horrible divorce stories from a
phatatic woman. gosh!
Do you rembember what Jennifer said when she asked about adobtion she said that is not me.. it need a caring personality to take some kid to give him/her home and make his/her your child. It is a life time reposbiltiy. But the problem in this contry is pity is something that bring you fans and makes people to defend you not what you do to matter sooooo sad.
Comment by annon — February 14, 2008 @ 5:05 pm
#17-20
I’m sorry, what? Did you spill soda on your keyboards?
Comment by Anonymous — February 14, 2008 @ 5:16 pm
Hahaha…toldja!
Comment by k — February 14, 2008 @ 5:22 pm
You said they’d be out for blood. Not out of their minds.
Comment by Anonymous — February 14, 2008 @ 5:44 pm
I’m still trying to figure out what a “phatatic woman” is. Whatever it is, I have a feeling I want to aspire to be one.
And with your kind permission, I’d love to use that line from your grandpa. I love it, that’s great!
Comment by k — February 14, 2008 @ 6:20 pm
Help yourself to it, and use it in good health.
Comment by Anonymous — February 14, 2008 @ 6:53 pm
Jennifer Aniston is NOT playing up the jilted wife act on extended play - its the media whose doing that, Jennifer has moved on to new projects and life experiences. Did anyone see how happy she looked in her bikini (hotter than AJ any day) a few months ago? She has a blue look for a reason other than Brad and the media is all over it. The only people who bring up the triangle is Brad and Angie. And if Jennifer is hurting still - would you if it was paraded in your face over and over again? Unlike private citizens Jennifer can’t ignore or forget her adulterous husband and the whore who stole him. Why? The media insisits on giving the bdp pair all this coverage!
Comment by Kari — February 14, 2008 @ 7:03 pm
This husband-left-wife-for-another-woman situation is not new. It was not the first and it won’t be the last. There are gazillion other celebrities who have done this (i.e. Dean and Tori, Donald and Marla etc. etc.) STOP crucifying Brad and Angelina. They fell in love. One was married. It happens. At least, he left Jennifer instead of carrying on behind her back, which might have been easier. AND it doesn’t matter where they adopt as long as they provide the children love, a roof over their heads and education. Jennifer will forever be linked to these two. Until she finds someone else. But how can she find someone better than Brad?
Comment by Voice of Reason — February 15, 2008 @ 4:46 pm
#27: Oh, since other people do it, this makes it okay.
Oh, and at least he LEFT Jennifer. That makes it all better. I’m no Jennifer fan, but that’s a pretty lame excuse.
And sorry…yes it absolutely does matter where (and how many) they adopt. So many children here need good homes, yet they have to go to other countries.
How can Jennifer find someone better than Brad? I’d think closing your eyes and pointing to a random name in the phone book would yield her a pretty good shot at finding someone better.
Stop crucifying them? I’m not…I’m just pointing out the obvious. You stop making excuses for them. I’m just pointing out facts…facts which the mainstream media chooses to overlook and avoid discussing.
Comment by k — February 15, 2008 @ 5:14 pm
I don’t really care about what they do…
all I know is(in my opinion anyway)Jennifer is nowhere near hot/beautiful
Comment by mm — February 29, 2008 @ 4:58 am
I dont’ support any side but like AJ was like
“To be intimate with a married man, when my own father cheated on my mother, is not something I could forgive. I could not look at myself in the morning if I did that. I wouldn’t be attracted to a man who would cheat on his wife.”
But yet they were together when Brad was still married to Jennifer.
Hypocritical much?
Comment by someone — August 24, 2008 @ 12:37 am