Britney Spears Possibly Believes Her Civil Rights Are Being Violated, When She Takes A Break From Going Out To Think About Them
In case you’ve been under a rock for the past week, there have been court papers filed that say Britney is being held prisoner by the conservators over her estate, her father and a lawyer:
In a document filed Thursday in U.S. District Court in Los Angeles, attorney Jon Eardley writes that Spears has not “received the benefit of a single hearing before the court,” and “is being confined by the conservator to the private prison of her own home,” in violation of her civil rights.
After more than a year of bizarre behavior and two stints in a psychiatric hospital this year, Spears was placed under a conservatorship by a Superior Court commissioner at the beginning of February. Conservatorships are established when a court determines someone cannot take care of themselves or their affairs.
In his federal court filing, Eardley asks “whether an adult child may be subjected by her parents to their complete and total control” and claims her conservators — her father, James Spears, and attorney Andrew Wallet — control what prescription medications she takes.
But unfortunately for Britney, attempts to prove that her rights are being taken from her probably won’t hold up in court. You see, having your rights taken away is kinda the point:
“Anyone who’s under a conservatorship can argue that they’ve lost their civil rights,” said Peter Tiersma, a law professor who teaches trusts and wills at Loyola Law School. “That’s what a conservatorship does, it takes away some of your rights.”
If the federal court were to take jurisdiction of the Spears case, said Tiersma, “that would mean that anyone under a conservatorship could do this, and that’s a loophole you could drive a truck through.”
Family law attorney Alexandra Leichter said the existing orders in the case, including Goetz’s decision that the pop star cannot retain counsel, will stand until a district court rules on whether it will take the case, which she said is highly unlikely.
“This is strictly a state matter. The fed court will not take jurisdiction of this case. That is so far-fetched and off the wall,” said Leichter. “They’ll laugh them out of court.”
I highly doubt that Britney contacted this lawyer herself. After all, the very essence of the conservatorship takes away her freedom to hire/fire her own lawyers, since the heart of the whole thing is that she can’t be trusted to take care of herself at this time. So…round up the usual suspects. Osmegma bin Loopy is the only one who would benefit from having the conservatorship removed. Not even Anon Brazilianwax would profit as much as Osmegma.
In other Brit news, she went out to eat with her father over the weekend, looking at least like she’s trying to make an effort with her appearance. She’s got something funky going on with her lips, but nothing that a little Carmex (or a smoother application of lipstick) can’t fix. She needs a manicure, and I still think she needs to rip out that ratty weave and just let her natural hair grow…but babysteps, babysteps. She also went shopping and tried on some wedding dresses. Well, again, babysteps…we can’t have a Brit outing without a little bit of crazazy, can we? It’ll all even out in time.
But really…if all I can find is stuff like she’s got a red spot on her lip and her nails are looking icky, that’s a huge step in the right direction, right?
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Yes, these steps are huge for Britney. Nice, succinct roundup. Has Osmarmy bin Doucheti been served with that restraining order yet? I hope when they do, it’s tacked onto the grill of mack truck and he gets it all up close and personal.
If I ain’t being too subtle.
Comment by D — February 18, 2008 @ 6:46 pm
What’s the point of her getting a manicure, she would just rip/chew them off within a day anyway.
Comment by sally — February 18, 2008 @ 6:50 pm
Dear Mr. Jamie Spears,
I understand your daughter is 26. I understand that she’s a grown woman and that sometimes you might feel a little awkward talking to her about stuff like bras, underwear and tampons. But, sadly while your ex-wife is off in Louisiana dealing with your other daughter (who should have learned to keep her underclothes on), it’s your job as a father (and conservator, no less) to gently instruct your daughter Britney on the use of intimate apparel.
Perhaps you’re a bit unfamiliar with the subject, being a man and all, but when a woman gets older and has the added benefit of having had two children in succession, well, let me be frank — the ol’ boobies just ain’t what they were when she was, say, 19.
Maybe while you have Britney locked up in her room like Rapunzel with a really bad weave, you might consider sending the assistant out to buy Britney some cute bras. Nothing too fancy, I’d hate for her to get the wrong idea and think they were OUTERgarments. Just something simple yet functional with a bit of support. Get her a strapless one while you’re at it, so she can’t complain about bra straps ruining the lines of her high-priced designer clothing.
Trust me on this one, Jamie. Years from now, she will thank you.
Very Truly Yours,
Crazymom
Comment by crazymom — February 18, 2008 @ 10:33 pm