“Hot, salty tears” — what an amazing description. I’m sure it must have been exactly like the time at the Country Club when she found out they were out of caviar.

What in the Sam Hill are you doing up at this hour of the night?

I thought I was the night shift.

And Lindsay, well, she’s not a slut, she’s a nympho. Big difference in my book.

Because she’s not, she’s just misguided!

I wonder how long until she learns that her fans consist of two groups, and only those two groups.

The people who want to laugh at her, and the people who want to sleep with her while laughing at her.

But it would be better overall if people just started ignoring her, unlikely as that is to happen. It’s like that old saying about ignoring the elephant in the room. Except that the elephant isn’t so much an elephant as it is an untalented slut.

Good for the Oscars — they rarely make a decision that can be applauded by the world as a whole, but this time they appear to have gotten it right.

But hey, maybe she could save the dress for next year’s Razzies?

Feh. She’s such a fame-ho that she’d probably go if it meant she’d get her picture took.