Oscar Pwns Paris
That’s because everyone’s favorite nottie, Paris Hilton, has been banned from the Oscars.
Yep, you read it correctly…Paris has been given the old heave-ho by Academy Awards organizers and told that she’s not wanted there…mainly because her latest film The Hottie and the Nottie totally tanked at the box office, bringing in about $25,000 (or $225 per theater showing it). I mean, how far down on the level of bad do you have to descend to be completely and utterly snubbed by the very people who are as close to your peers as you’ll ever have?
The Daily Star said it best, I can’t possibly put it any better than this, and I’m not even going to try:
Paris Hilton’s fairy godmother has furnished her with a £2million [$3.9M USD] outfit for the Oscars.
But the wonky-eyed Cinderella won’t be going to the ball.
The blonde irritant, 27, has been leaking her eyes all over ugly sister Nicky, 24, after being refused a chance to get her publicity fix at the swish ceremony next Sunday.
Ever the presumptuous and stingy carbuncle, Paris blagged a bum-clenchingly expensive dress and diam-onds from designer Kira Plastinina.
But her latest movie The Hottie And The Nottie has been voted the worst in history by users of film bible IMDB. So organisers of the ceremony have pointed out that giving her an invite would be like sending Jim Davidson a VIP ticket to a Gay Pride party.
Our man in the pumpkin said: “She cried hot, salty tears when she was banned from the Oscars.
“She’s desperate to be taken seriously as an actress and hoped she would be able to network with the film bods.â€
Unfortunately, Paris’s greatest screen glory was in night-vision in her infamous 2004 grumble flick 1 Night In Paris which she made with her equally wooden ex Rick Salomon, 40. Rather gallingly for Paris, she actually had to do real work to promote her latest offering to the silver screen, which sees her push the boundaries of character acting as the “Hottieâ€.
A gossiping mouse squeaked: “She’s tempted to go to the parties afterwards, but might wear her trademark brunette wig to save her dignity.â€
So if any Prince Charmings find a glass slipper by Chateau Marmont sniff the OdorEater for traces of Paris.
PWNED!
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Is she crying in that photo, or just sweating really harshly?
Good for the Oscars — they rarely make a decision that can be applauded by the world as a whole, but this time they appear to have gotten it right.
But hey, maybe she could save the dress for next year’s Razzies?
Feh. She’s such a fame-ho that she’d probably go if it meant she’d get her picture took.
Comment by crazymom — February 19, 2008 @ 11:28 pm
I believe it is a still from the movie House Of Wax, her character is crying.
Comment by k — February 19, 2008 @ 11:32 pm
Another excellent step in her education.
I wonder how long until she learns that her fans consist of two groups, and only those two groups.
The people who want to laugh at her, and the people who want to sleep with her while laughing at her.
But it would be better overall if people just started ignoring her, unlikely as that is to happen. It’s like that old saying about ignoring the elephant in the room. Except that the elephant isn’t so much an elephant as it is an untalented slut.
Comment by Anonymous — February 19, 2008 @ 11:44 pm
Hey, I thought you liked sluts.
Comment by d — February 20, 2008 @ 12:09 am
When the hell did I ever say that? Or are you trying to be clever and call my precious Lindsay a slut?
Because she’s not, she’s just misguided!
Comment by Anonymous — February 20, 2008 @ 12:24 am
Instincts perhaps.
And Lindsay, well, she’s not a slut, she’s a nympho. Big difference in my book.
Comment by D — February 20, 2008 @ 1:44 am
D!!!
What in the Sam Hill are you doing up at this hour of the night?
I thought I was the night shift.
Comment by k — February 20, 2008 @ 1:48 am
Long story…..
Comment by D — February 20, 2008 @ 10:25 am
getting back on track…
“Hot, salty tears” — what an amazing description. I’m sure it must have been exactly like the time at the Country Club when she found out they were out of caviar.
Comment by crazymom — February 20, 2008 @ 2:32 pm