Jennifer Lopez Sells Babies For $6M
Or at least the photographic representations of them.
News today is that JLo has finally checked into that suite at North Shore University Hospital (you know, the suite specially outfitted for her, with a brown leather couch and furnishings untouched by the blood or amniotic fluid of the little people otherwise known as the “non-famous”) to deliver her babies, widely reported to be twins, and it seems that staffers on that floor are all in a tizzy because, well, it’s JLo, and apparently she used to be somebody.
“Sources” also say that she’s sold the first public photos of the little tykes for $6M, to be split between People and OK!, who will distribute the pics in their international magazines. And finally, the babes will snooze in style in nurseries which cost over $120K to outfit in high style, including chandeliers and 18-karat trim. In three homes, nonetheless.
Okay, I gotta stop. Huh? First of all, what makes Jennifer Lopez so special that she gets a special, unsullied room and nobody else is allowed to touch it? It’s a hospital, I’m sure they clean the delivery rooms extremely well between birthings. Had the room been used even the day before, I’m sure it would have been sanitized in time for Jennifer’s arrival. Yeah, the argument could be made that a room needed to be kept ready for whenever she went into labor, and I’m sure there needs to be things taken into account such as security measures and privacy. But still…she couldn’t use the room as it was, it had to be specially outfitted just for her? She’ll be in the standard issue hospital bed anyway, I don’t see what difference it makes. And I’m sure they have more than one room which could have accommodated her. What makes JLo and her babies so much more special than any other mother who comes in to give birth? And will she change her mind and have a silent birth after all?
And all that money, for nurseries for babies who’s eyes can’t even focus properly? What is that about? I’m not against having nice things, but why not donate some of that money to mothers who NEED it? Last time I checked, babies eat, sleep, and poop…sometimes all at once, many times not in a neat and orderly fashion. What does any baby need with nurseries that have gold trim and chandeliers? Sounds more to me like indulging the egos of the parents. I wish I could be a little fly on the wall (yeah, like she’d allow a fly) when those babies spit up or get runny diapers all over their expensive sheets. I’m not trying to be mean, just pointing out that babies will poop on anything, from $116 organic blankets to $5 polarfleece from Wal-Mart. And no matter the price of the materials, baby poopy stains, stinks, and generally makes a mess.
And lastly…$6M for baby photos? Of what? Little wrinkly babies? Let’s face it, newborns pretty much look the same. They may have different color skin depending on their ethnicity, but they’re usually wrinkled little monkey-looking things. Hey, I’ve had two babies, and while I thought they were the most beautiful babies in the world (and they were…I dare JLo to produce babies as beautiful as mine), the truth is that they were also little wrinkly, red-faced, slobbering lumps. You know why? Because they’re BABIES. This practice of doling out small fortunes to celebs who are already full of themselves just for some baby snapshots is the most greedy, ridiculous thing I’ve seen yet (and I’m not just talking about JLo and Marc here).
Can’t Marc Anthony do something with her? He’s never said anything (he’s probably too scared) but I’d hope he’d be embarrassed by his wife’s ostentationess.
But, having said all that, I do wish her a good delivery and healthy babies. I just wish she’d grow up and live in the real world, not Jenniferland.
I’ll personally give $100 of my hard-earned money (and to me, that’s a huge amount) to the charity of choice of any celebrity who will come out of their house to greet the assembled paparazzi throng (behind a gate or fence, of course), ask if they’d like to see the baby, and then bring out Junior for photos. They can stand at a reasonable distance for a few minutes (again, probably behind a gate or fence…gotta have a barrier between the paps and the baby), and then go inside. Or they can snap a picture of Little Missy, print off a bunch of snapshot-sized prints, and go hand them to the press outside. No big money, no huge fanfare, and it wouldn’t look like they’re greedily selling their kids for cash that they don’t need anyway.
I’ll start holding my breath now.
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everything this woman does flops, so how the f can they pay her that much money? i don’t get it.
Comment by sally — February 20, 2008 @ 6:09 pm
She is SO obnoxious. I mean REALLY.
Comment by D — February 20, 2008 @ 6:11 pm
18k gold….chandeliers in a nursery? Huh? Wow, what a waste. Just think what could be done with all of that money. All very strange. I don’t know about you - but when I was in labour with my son I could have cared less where I was. I heard she is going to wear a Cavalli dress to the big “event” kookoo. Hello planet J-lo. Waters breaking, severe contractions and other unmentionables will sure give her a reality check. I think she watches too many soap operas.
Comment by ebayer — February 20, 2008 @ 8:05 pm
Um, K? You’re turning blue.
Comment by crazymom — February 20, 2008 @ 9:28 pm
She’s a high-class chola!
Comment by D — February 20, 2008 @ 9:32 pm
Dear, dear, dear K. Honey, that’s what nannies, maids and assistants are for.
Do you honestly think that our precious, delicate, divalicious mami J-Lo is going to change a 950 thread-count organic cotton diaper? PSHAW.
She will pose (in full-on hair and make-up) with the babies for the photos and then quickly hand them off to someone else when it’s over.
I can TOTALLY picture her going batshit over wire hangers someday.
Comment by crazymom — February 20, 2008 @ 9:33 pm
Would it be catty of me to mention how “puffy” she looks? I mean we all look a big off when pregnant, but the recent pics of J-Lo were hard to look at. Yikes!
Comment by D — February 20, 2008 @ 9:54 pm
Jennifer Lopez went to a all-girls private high school. Though in the Bronx, not exactly the ghetto life she markets herself living. Any how…how about giving back a little to the life you left behind…instead of furnishing three nurseries.
Comment by S L E - Bronx — February 21, 2008 @ 3:24 pm
Oh yeah, I’ve always suspected she’s not the “Jenny From The Block” that she likes to portray herself as.
As we say in the Midwest (if your parents were from the South, that is), somebody done got above their raisin’.
Comment by k — February 21, 2008 @ 4:15 pm
i think that everyone needs 2 stop worrying about everyone else’s life and think about getting a life ur self, bc obviously if u have time to put j.lo down u clearly dont have ne thing better to do…
Comment by noelia — February 22, 2008 @ 12:28 pm
Anything better to do? Oh, you mean besides learning how to write and spell?
Hilarious how people actively read and seek out celebrity sites, only to tell the writers they need a life.
Comment by k — February 22, 2008 @ 12:39 pm
u know whats also hilarious? u understood it. so i clearly didnt do a bad job;) ur THINKING that ur putting me down bc i abbreviate words MY way…idc what u think or ne other person for that matter…so stfu. luv ya boo *besitos*
Comment by noelia — February 26, 2008 @ 1:07 pm
Well, I’ve had experience with little kids, so reading childish spelling isn’t new to me. Ta!
Comment by k — February 26, 2008 @ 1:50 pm
childish? ha u MUST b kidding….if im childish ur just as childish as me, considering u keep putting in ur 2 cents….
Comment by noelia — February 26, 2008 @ 4:52 pm
[…] name, instead of giving it to greedy celebrities who will undoubtedly use it to purchase yet more gilded trim for the nursery. This is simply a publicity stunt for Jennifer…it’s to stroke the […]
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