Kirstie Alley’s Plan To “Clear” The Planet Of Fat People
Proud Scientologist and former Jenny Craig spokesperson, Kirstie Alley, has a new weight loss in the works since parting ways with the popular weight loss plan. Alley has represented the company for three years and while both parties spoke positively about the experience, Kirstie is ready to venture out on her own.
People Magazine reports:
Though she called her experience with Jenny Craig “extraordinary,” she [Kirstie Alley] says: “I want to create something new that will help millions of people end the seemingly never ending fatty-roller coaster ride.”
Scott Parker, VP of marketing for Jenny Craig, said Tuesday that “we are sorry that she did not accept our offer” to continue appearing in the company’s ad campaign, “but we wish her all the best in her future endeavors.”
Kirstie Alley knows a thing or two about fatty roller-coaster rides, while claiming to have lost 75 pounds on the Jenny Craig diet plan, she’s never really resembled anything that would remotely be called “in shape.” Nor do I think she’s been honest about her real weight. Nevertheless, she’s got something planned, unfortunately whatever that is will have to wait, because Kirstie’s not ready to share the details.
From Alley’s statement exclusively to People:
…”The weight-loss field is wide open and not immune to new ideas and improved solutions for the fat problems that plague many of us Americans every day. I want to create something new that will help millions of people end the seemingly never ending fatty-roller coaster ride. I am especially passionate about seeing to it that our next generations are not struggling with the same weight issues that my generation has struggled with.There was a time when America was not fat, and that was in our not-so-distant past. I’m confident that I can create something exciting and innovative: something that if all goes well, will help change a fat America back into a fit America and will offer this country the healthiest, yummiest, easiest and most effective weight-loss program on the market.”
Let’s hope Kirstie doesn’t plan to incorporate any of Scientology’s business model into her plan, or we might have to wait until we “cross the bridge” to lose those stubborn last five pounds.
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Anyone want to bet that the program will not be an ineffectual/borderline harmful dianetic rehash a la Narconon?
…Anyone?
Comment by An Anon — February 20, 2008 @ 5:04 pm
To be a leader and a successful launcher of any business, you have to inspire, to lead in a way that people will follow, and “walk the walk” so to speak. Kirstie Alley hasn’t enough credibility, consistency and public gravitas to influence a large number of people. She’s become a joke, a sympathetic one since no one envies her that nororiety, but still, a bit of a joke. She’s no leader.
Comment by Bilbo — February 20, 2008 @ 5:31 pm
She can call it Fatanon! Flabanon? Cellunon!
Isn’t it funny how Scientology has a course called Narconon, and then you have Anonymous?
Anyway. Being overweight and attempting to lose pounds and get in shape is hard enough, without someone like her coming along and coming up with their own “plan”. Since Scientology “courses” are not based on any kind of medical technology, or even on facts of how the body works, I expect it to be something like learning how to feed our inner Thetan (or is it starve our inner Thetan? I’ve never been sure, I get confused).
Comment by k — February 20, 2008 @ 5:51 pm
she is a voracious cocaine whore
Comment by J-Roc — February 20, 2008 @ 8:08 pm
Well, if what Scientology has done for Katie Holmes is any indication of their weight-loss techniques — where do I sign up??!!
http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/02_03/1KatieHolmesG_600×1213.jpg
I kid. I kid.
Maybe she’ll do an exercise video with Jessica Simpson. (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23241317/)
Comment by crazymom — February 20, 2008 @ 9:43 pm
it will take years and years to get ‘there’ and when you do you’ll be lighter by about $300,000 oh and you’ll be fatter and for an xtra 100,000 you’ll get the copyrighted secret which reads to loose weight burn more calories than you consume now give us all your money or besides being fat you will also be fair gamed
Comment by jay — February 20, 2008 @ 10:26 pm
aaah, CO$ have found some more potential victims to their cause… Sadly Kirstie has as much credibility as her ‘religion’… Too late David, you missed the diet revolution boat by atleast a decade… Not to worry - just hit the celebs up for more ‘development’ money - their frail little egos crave the CO$ attention…
Comment by beebee — February 20, 2008 @ 11:27 pm
THIS WEBSITE IS SUPPRESSIVE. IT DEALS IN LIES & INNUENDO. SCIENTOLOGY IS CLEARING THE PLANET AND WILL SOON BURY WEBSITES SUCH AS THIS ONE. One day this world will be clear and all people will live in harmony under the control of a single ethic. If you are reading this you will probably go mad before that day comes. We will keep you in a SP ZOO and show you to our children as examples of the disposed. ANONYMOUS is composed of low-IQ slackers with short attention spans. As they drift away from their terrorism we will pick them off, one by one. Have a nice day.
Comment by SCIENTOLOGIST — February 21, 2008 @ 9:51 am
Lisa McPherson lost 30 pounds in just 17 days.
Comment by guessWho — February 21, 2008 @ 10:47 am
Celebrity scientologists should be ashamed of themselves.
Click on the “interviews” at xenutv.com
The pain that this mind-controlling money-grubbing “religion” inflicts on people is terrible. The human rights abuses are lamentable.
And Kirstie and Tom Cruise support it. Shame.
Comment by Sean — February 21, 2008 @ 11:18 am
Wow, scientologist! You sure do paint a pretty picture of what kind of freaky controlled world we would live in if the CoS were allowed to run rampant.
- locking people away who question authority in zoos
- control of media to prevent people from expressing opposing views
- living under the control of “ethics” written by a scifi writer
Sounds like George Orwell’s novel, 1984.
I’d have to call YOUR IQ into question if you think that appeals to people. Thanks for coming out and representing the nature of your “Church.”
Comment by Anon — February 21, 2008 @ 11:29 am
Re: “Comment by SCIENTOLOGIST — February 21, 2008 @ 9:51 am”
I thought Scientologists aren’t allowed even glance at the Web?!? Doesn’t that make you an “SP” by default for doing so? LOL
Comment by LRH — February 21, 2008 @ 12:18 pm
Will someone in the media please ask her why, if $cientology is so great that she had to turn to Jenny Craig for a little problem like weight loss.
Comment by marcab — February 21, 2008 @ 12:19 pm
marcab, have you seen Alley lately? Her weight is no “little” problem.
I can’t imagine how someone with her track record would have any credibility as a weight-loss guru. She is truly delusional.
Comment by Narcissus — February 21, 2008 @ 1:09 pm
I can’t resist suggesting this title: Battlefield Girth
Comment by Narcissus — February 21, 2008 @ 2:07 pm
You know something, I think the whole internet is “suppressive.” Maybe scientologists should just “disconnect” since they can’t seem to “handle” it.
Comment by Anon — February 21, 2008 @ 3:13 pm
L Ron had the foresight to comprehend billions of years past and future, but not the internet. hmmmmm
Comment by guessWho — February 21, 2008 @ 5:54 pm
I’m sure her plan will consist of drinking copious amounts of olive oil and B vitamins. Then slowly braising yourself in a hot sauna. Add a couple of leeks and garlic and root veggies. Splash in a dash of that barley water. Drop in the placenta from Katie that Tom Cruise never did eat. Allow to simmer over the E-meters you extort from eBay sellers. After acking your wins under a cover of old Dianetics books (the ones with all the original racist writings before Scn “rewrote LRH’s words”) for 5 hours, run on that Bridge to Total Freedom and leap into those gazillion-year-old Hawai’ian volcanoes.
And then voilà ! Super Vegan Thetan Xenu Pie.
Comment by anonterryeo — February 21, 2008 @ 7:29 pm
SCIENTOLOGIST…you should jump into a pool with your e-meter plugged in to an electrical outlet. SOON! You sound like a total freak.
Comment by sillygrrl — February 21, 2008 @ 10:25 pm
I’m not a Scientologist but if her weight loss plan includes some of the extremely workable technology that has allowed Narconon and Criminon to help so many people than I can’t but help thinking it’s going to be a success!
Comment by Terryeo-Lightfield-Arkaitz-Churilov-GrnApl-luana-chewyandbert — February 24, 2008 @ 3:04 am
#20, if the “technology” is so “workable,” then why hasn’t it worked for her? She’s still struggling with her weight.
Also criminon and narconon are shameful fronts to recruit the vulnerable. The only “sucess” they’ve had are what’s published in scientology run publications and media sources. Why is it their “success rates” never stand up to peer review?
Comment by Nonya — February 25, 2008 @ 8:47 am
#21: I’m sure #20 was just being facetious. Hint: Always check the link on their usernmame.
Comment by anonymous — February 29, 2008 @ 8:12 am