Will You Be Paris Hilton’s Friend? Oh Wait, She’s Got A Boyfriend, Never Mind
Lots of Paris Hilton news, so let’s get caught up. First of all, she’s on the prowl to find a new friend…you know, someone she considers fat or ugly so she can stand beside them and look hot:
“The show is going to be about her searching for a new best friend,” a source tells Usmagazine.com. “Paris is tired of the haters and she’s looking for someone new. She’s looking for someone new and cool who she can trust.”
The untitled project – expected to be picked up by either MTV or VH1 – will be her second foray in reality television. Hilton’s The Simple Life, costarring pal Nicole Richie, aired from 2003 to 2007.
The new show is “going to be full of good chick drama and you will see a side of Paris not seen on Simple Life,” the source tells Us.
So much material, so little writing space to appropriately fit it all in. First, I’m sure she’s totally going to find someone “new” and “cool” who is completely trustworthy by using a reality TV show. Because, you know, people are so totally honest and real when they go on reality TV. They never do anything like make stuff up or lie about themselves. And I’m not sure there is a side of Paris we haven’t seen, thanks to Rick Salomon and her own pantyless escapades.
Plus, all you Paris-wannabees, how pathetic is it that she has to use a reality TV show to find herself a new friend? Oh wait…it’s not about friendship, it’s about money. Forgot myself for a moment there.
Next, she has looked a bit closer to home to try and find luck in the romance department:
Paris Hilton and Benji Madden are officially a thing, meaning if all goes well, Paris and Nicole Richie could be … sister-in-laws. And you thought the Manson family was scary. [...]
Sources close to the situation tell TMZ, “They are dating for sure,” and that they actually met a while back but were in other relationships at the time. “It was all about the timing,” we’re told.
Apparently Paris and What’s-His-Name (hereafter to be known as “The Nottie and the Nottie”) were spotted at Home Nightclub in St. Louis danc–wait, St. Louis? Missouri? Paris knows where that is?
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The last time I checked, once Paris gets a man in her life the girlfriend thing goes out the window. Hope any of the potential Paris beeffeffs don’t plan on getting too chummy.
And animal-hoarding Paris was spotted out at a controversial pet store. Yes, Pets of Bel Air, the pet place linked to a puppy mill and supplier to people like Paris and Britney Spears and Denise “Thumbody’s tampered wit da bawwwwwwwmb” Richards and Robin Williams (what? Yep), was graced with the presence of Nottie and Nottie on Monday. Like Paris needs any more pets. What she needs to do is get rid of most of the ones she already has…you know, the ones she’s never home to take care of and that she let breed irresponsibly.
Okay, my fingers are officially revolting against writing anything else about her, so I’d better stop before they jump off my hands and run aw
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Y’know, as that guy’s tattoos fade and his skin slackens with age, he’s gonna get uglier and uglier. It’ll be quite a horrid sight in the geriatric ward.
Comment by Narcissus — February 26, 2008 @ 3:15 pm
He reminds me of a potato covered in tattoos. Everyone loves a potato right?
Comment by Christy — February 26, 2008 @ 7:25 pm
I think Joel got the better end of the looks deal, and Joel is pretty homely himself. So what’s that say about Benji?
Comment by k — February 26, 2008 @ 7:58 pm
Joel definitely got the better end of the twin looks department. Maybe Benji has magic powers? Yeah that’s it.
Comment by Christy — February 26, 2008 @ 8:00 pm
She’s probably going to get herself knocked up because that’s what people who serve no real benefit to humanity do for publicity these days.
“What? You mean it’s a REAL baby? Oh, that’s okay, I’ll just have a new reality show about me trying to find new and cool parents to adopt my kid.”
Comment by crazymom — February 26, 2008 @ 9:38 pm