No word yet, however, on whether he copped to being a gelatinous skidmark in the underwear of the music business.

Yes, Lou Pearlman, the musical genius behind (some would say literally) some of the world’s most famous boy bands, finally agreed to plead guilty to various charges:

The creator of the Backstreet Boys and ‘N Sync has agreed to plead guilty to charges he laundered money and made false statements during a bankruptcy proceeding. 

Boy band creator Lou Pearlman has agreed to plead guilty to money laundering and making false statements.

Lou Pearlman will appear in court Thursday, according to a 47-page plea agreement released Tuesday.

Federal prosecutors accuse Pearlman of lying to investors to raise millions of dollars for fake companies.

They say the total loss to investors is estimated at more than $300 million.

The plea deal says Pearlman will help investigators develop cases and testify against others who helped in his schemes.

Federal prosecutors still plan to seek a significant prison sentence for Pearlman.

Well, that’s good.  At least he still has a chance to use his talents.

So what exactly did Big Poppa (as he wanted his young proteges to call him) do, besides obviously exist on a diet of chocolate-covered bacon?  He fled the country after allegedly bilking investors out of almost $320M in fifteen years, duping people (mostly Florida retirees) in an intricate Ponzi scheme that eventually came crashing down.  He fabricated companies for investors to pour money into, he ruined lives with endless lawsuits, and in the end ran off with his tail between his legs when the truth came out.  He was eventually busted by the FBI on the island of Bali, where he had registered at a hotel under the alias “A. Incognito Johnson.”

As if that were not bad enough, it turns out that Lou, who had begun his empire in the blimp business (you can make up your own gas joke there), had an eye for the boys…not just for their talent, how well they could sing or dance or how nice they looked for the camera, but for his own nefarious purposes.  Starstruck young men (and their parents) were duped into falling for his line of bull, only to find themselves sharing more than profits with the rotund Svengali:

Some, especially the teenagers, shrugged and giggled when he showed them pornographic movies or jumped naked onto their beds in the morning to wrestle and play. Others, it appears, didn’t get off so easily. These were the young singers seen emerging from his bedroom late at night, buttoning their pants, sheepish looks on their faces. Some deny anything improper ever happened. But the parents of at least one, a member of the Backstreet Boys, complained. And for any number of young men who sought to join the world’s greatest boy bands, Big Poppa’s attentions were an open secret, the price some paid for fame.

“Some guys joked about it; I remember [one singer] asking me, ‘Have you let Lou blow you yet?’” says Steve Mooney, an aspiring singer who served as Pearlman’s assistant and lived in his home for two years. “I would absolutely say the guy was a sexual predator. All the talent knew what Lou’s game was. If they say no, they’re lying to you.”

Vanity Fair published a great article on this, from which the above quote was taken.  It’s a long read, but well worth the time if you want to know more about the seedy side of creating those innocuous boy band hits and the perfectly coiffed young males in them.  For example:

From outward appearances, Pearlman was not gay; in fact, over the years he dated several women, including a nurse. But even in those early years, when Pearlman shepherded the Backstreet Boys to appearances around the U.S. and Europe, members of the group and their families frequently gossiped about his sexual proclivities. “As a mother, you kind of put two and two together,” remembers Denise McLean, A. J. McLean’s mother. “Yet there was always that fine line where you sat back and went, ‘O.K., is this a guy who always wanted to be a father or an uncle? Is this all innocent? Or is it more?’ I kind of thought that there might have been some strange things going on. But you just didn’t know.” […]

It was during this period, in 1997 and 1998, that the first allegations of inappropriate behavior involving Pearlman appear to have surfaced. One incident centered on the youngest of the Backstreet Boys, Nick Carter, who in 1997 turned 17. Even for many of those closest to the group, what happened remains unclear. “My son did say something about the fact that Nick had been uncomfortable staying [at Pearlman’s house],” Denise McLean says. “For a while Nick loved going over to Lou’s house. All of a sudden it appeared there was a flip at some point. Then we heard from the Carter camp that there was some kind of inappropriate behavior. It was just odd. I can just say there were odd events that took place.” […]

In a telephone interview, Jane Carter stops just short of acknowledging Pearlman made improper overtures to her son. “Certain things happened,” she tells me, “and it almost destroyed our family. I tried to warn everyone. I tried to warn all the mothers.” Told that this article would detail allegations that Pearlman made overtures to other young men, she replies, “If you’re doing that, and exposing that, I give you a big flag. I tried to expose him for what he was years ago.… I hope you expose him, because the financial [scandal] is the least of his injustices.” When I ask why she won’t discuss it further, Carter says she doesn’t want to jeopardize her relationship with Nick. “I can’t say anything more,” she says. “These children are fearful, and they want to go on with their careers.”

I won’t go on, but trust me…the article is worth a read.  Grab a cup of coffee and some cookies and take a few minutes out of your life.

Oh, here’s a bit of Fat Louie trivia…I noticed this little throwaway sentence while rereading the article, and a little recognition bell went off in my head:

Other groups were soon in the works, including a five-teen band named Take 5, a three-teen group called LFO, and an all-girl group named Innosense.

And who was in Innosense, but none other than our own favorite trainwreck Britney Spears?