Authors Ian Halperin and Andrew Morton

Ian Halperin, best-selling author and documentarian, took every precaution to make sure the premiere of his new film “His Highness Hollywood” went smoothly. The film, which chronicles Halperin’s investigative foray into the world of Hollywood, is a side-by-side, chapter-by-chapter look at his experiences writing the book, Hollywood Undercover.

Ian and I first communicated with each other back in January during the blitz of media coverage surrounding the release of Andrew Morton’s Tom Cruise biography and the leaking of a video featuring an unhinged Cruise extolling the “virtues” of Scientology. Ian’s book, much like Andrew’s, deals with the inextricable link between Hollywood, Celebrities and the Church of Scientology.

Simply put, they are two sums of a whole part. Not only does Scientology present an imposing physical presence in Hollywood, with their gothic-style Celebrity Center nestled comfortably on Hollywood Blvd, but they have a stable of stars which would make any organization envious. As Tom Cruise says, “it’s KSW” and the CoS has Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, John Travolta, Kelly Preston, Nancy Cartwright, Kirstie Alley and many, many more, who are doing their part to “keep Scientology working.”

Switching coasts, I find myself invited to Ian’s premiere, held at the prestigious National Arts Club in Manhattan. While Glosslip has been fighting tooth and nail to carve a niche for ourselves in fly-over country, in no way was I going to let a little thing like distance keep me from attending this premiere. Eric, my husband and the publisher of Blogcritics.org, was supposed to go with me, but alas the timing was not right for us both to be gone, so with his blessings and support I was told to go forth and represent.

Ian asked me not to publicize the premiere, somewhat contrary to how these types of events go. But then again, Ian’s got a good reason to fly this event under the radar: The Church of Scientology. As part of Ian’s documentary, he goes in undercover as a “gay actor and member of a wealthy, royal Israeli family” and asks if the Church of Scientology could cure him of his gayness, oh and ostensibly, to help him with his budding Hollywood career. If you didn’t laugh about the fictitious “Israeli royal family” thing, you certainly should have about the “curing him of his gayness.”

Ian’s not just being paranoid, he’s being cautious. Right before we interviewed him for Glosslip Radio, Ian received several threatening phone calls and a brush with an intent cab who barely missed the author outside his residence. Ian went into hiding for a while, hoping the Church would move on. It seems they didn’t.

I arrived the day of the event booked at the very nice, but reasonable Kimberly Hotel in east-side Manhattan. New York is a expensive place to visit, but this place was clean, semi-luxurious and I was treated well (hey Kimberly, how about a discount for the next time?). While traveling to the inner sanctum of New York City may be a non-issue for most cosmopolitan people, I was well out of my element. So I had an escort for the evening, no, not the kind ex-NY Governor Eliot Spitzer used, but rather BC Theater editor, musician, all around nice guy and Manhattanite Jon Sobel.

I arrived early to the premiere to interview Ian live from the NAC. I immediately recognized him from pictures I’ve seen, though he was momentarily out of “his Highness” character. Minus the sunglasses, Ian is handsome, commanding, personable and most glaringly, a sincere guy. Trust me, that last one is hard to fake with me. Despite the fact that Sony Pictures, Vanity Fair, Gawker, The New York Times and The New Yorker were there, Ian treated me like I was a special guest and gave me as much time as he could. Who says small media isn’t important?

After the interview with Ian, I got a call from Jon Sobel who’d arrived and we finally meet. If Buddy Holly, Elvis Costello and Woody Allen had a baby, they’d name him Jon Sobel. Of course if those three had a baby, we’d be living in some kind of alternative universe where everyone “ate rainbows and pooped butterflies!”

Jon and I saddled up to the open bar and procured our red wine, while I kept my eye out for a face that would be both familiar and foreign at the same time. I asked the door people to look for a distinguished gentleman with glasses who went by the name Andrew Morton. Eyebrows raised. I showed them the picture from the book I was clutching, much nodding and winks were exchanged.

The screening was held in a an upstairs area set up just for this type of event. There was seating for approximately 200 people and by the time we finally sat down to watch the film, all seats were filled and at least 70 people were turned away for lack of room.

While we waited for the screening to begin, Jon and I were getting to know each other. He was shared some of the rich history of the NAC which is located in the historic Tilden Mansion in Gramercy Park. Jon, who’d been there before, discussed the architecture and amazing art work display throughout the center. It was quite breath-taking and a real honor to be there.

At some point, I caught sight of Andrew Morton and before long, Ian, incredulous and smiling, joined us and we descended on a literary hero for us both. When I spoke with Ian later about Morton’s surprise and impromptu attendance, he had this to say:

“I was amazed with how Glosslip secured and delivered Morton to the premiere. I was the most shocked person in the room.”

That makes two of us. Ian admitted later this was a amazing feat, as Morton is one of the most in demand and famous writers in the world. We were both stricken by how all of this fame had very little bearing on Andrew’s personality, and Ian was not shy in expressing his delight:

“In my 15 years in this rather sleazy industry, it was refreshing to meet a man with as much class as Morton, I have never met a more solid, upfront, and genuine person as Andrew. It was the highlight of my career, and I’ve met Oprah, Bill Clinton and the Dali Lama. I advise anyone reading this to buy every one of his books because there’s no finer writer in the business.”

I can’t disagree with any of those sentiments.

The cocktail hour carried on a bit past the screening time and the space was filling up with media people, arty types, patrons of the NAC, friends of Ian, and several important people who worked on the film itself. I was delighted to meet Ian’s close associates including a Broadway music legend, the suave Laurent Medelgi who did the original score for the film and treated the audience to beautiful classical guitar, as well as, a rocking blues number with Ian on sax performing an original number written by Ian’s 6-year old daughter, Clover. Apples do NOT fall far from the tree!

The room fell silent, and the screen came to life with the tapping of a typewriter which corresponded with a cautionary warning springing to life on film. This is important to note, as we witnessed this three times within a 2 hour period. More on that in a moment.

About five minutes in the film, something happened. Leading up to a complete and abrupt halt in the movement of the film, the sound began to fall out of sync. The audience muttered what we were hearing was not what we were seeing. The lights came on, a mad rush occurred in back, and soon we were addressed.

“Folks we are having a technical difficulty, so, while we wait, I will do my best to entertain you.”

Or something close to that, because this was Laurent saving the day, and his French accent, though sexy as all get out, lost me in translation. Laurent lulled us with sweet guitar sounds, as tinkering was done to the film in fits and starts. About 15 minutes passed, people reseated and we were going to try this once more. Hey, no big deal tech stuff happens.

Once again, the tapping, those cautionary words appear and we settle into our seats. Five minutes pass and BAM! A grinding halt occurs at the same place. Audible groans and confusion can be heard. Jon Sobel and I look at other with puzzled expressions. Jon even considered jumping in, since his day job is as a tech guru. We decide to stretch our legs as the frenzied scramble begins anew. The crowd is clearly getting restless, but all the while, Ian is holding up under the pressure. Andrew keeps himself busy conversing with those who are beginning to recognize him (plus Ian gave the most famous man in the room a shout out during the introduction).

Another 30 minutes of nervous chatter pass, we are informed that something drastic is going to take place to fix this problem (dumping the avi file to another hard drive) and we are assured this will solve the problem at last. At this time, most people are visiting the bar for more heavy-hitting drinks, and the 9:00 hour has come and gone.

Finally, we are called back, refreshed with spirits and ready to go. Ian, still smiling, is sure he and his team can salvage this. Familiar tap, tap, caution, five minutes and SLAM, nothing. Even the positive goodwill still left in the room would not make this film move beyond this five minute mark. What is Ian going to do, what am I going to do was running through my mind. And likely many others. This was the third attempt. By all accounts, Murphy’s law was in affect.

People left at this point. Gawker left. Andrew Morton remained. I was going nowhere, this was my final destination. Something had to give. Just when the tension in the room had reached critical mass, a commanding woman took the stage and said:

“You have two options, you can politely say your goodbyes and disperse, or we can show you the unedited version about 15 takes back. I don’t want you to see it, because it’s not what the final version looks like, but you came here to see something, and this is what we have.”

“Show US” pleaded those who remained, now about 150 people. Impressive considering what we’ve all been through.

Finally, at 10:00pm we took our seats for the FOURTH time… tap, tap, cautionary tale, five minutes…it was like a midnight showing of Rocky Horror where everyone repeats the lines….but then a miracle happens and the film keeps going. Uproarious cheers erupt and the entire room madly applauds. It was both rude and necessary.

We quiet down for a film which is 30 minutes too long — we know and understand this — but is still amazingly funny, full of tremendous insight and at times sad, shocking, and utterly entertaining. Ian is a natural story-teller, and he takes us along on his journey undercover, as willing accomplices into a world we all know, but so few truly understand: Hollywood.

It really was a great viewing, and I can’t wait to see the final version to compare. Editing is a skilled artform, and now I will have a greater appreciation of the effort that goes into it.

So, are you wondering about the sabotage part yet? Yeah, so were we.

After I get back to Cleveland, I receive an email from Ian. All it says is: the film equipment was tampered with. I call him and in a frantic and excitable voice Ian explains what happened.

They had tested the film at 5:00. It was hooked up to a projector and playing on a computer as an AVI file. At 5:00, all went well, the film ran as expected, no problems. Secure and satisfied everything was ready to go, Ian and crew left to take a break before the premiere and await guests.

They even did a brief run through at 7:00 while Ian and I did our interview. You can hear the tell-tale tap, tap in the background. But there were several people coming and going and what happened during this time period is unclear.

After the freakish events of the night before, the NAC staff decided to investigate the incident themselves. This WAS their equipment and surely they too wanted to know what went wrong. Well, something was wrong. In fact, everything was wrong.

All the professionally tinkered with settings were adjusted, and adjusted in such a way that the end result of the film stopping in the same place and not budging was the only possible outcome. This was a hit job. All of Ian’s precautions, all of the advance press he gave up just to ensure the safety and unimpeded viewing of his professional baby were for naught. This was SABOTAGE.

I asked Ian what he thought happened. He just kept saying, “I don’t know, we tested it, we were ready to go, everything should have gone smoothly.”

I had to ask it, it would have been wrong and unprofessional for me not to: Ian, do you think Scientology did this?

A long, pregnant and thoughtful pause, “I can’t comment.”

I pressured Ian for more details, but he gave me all he had. In his words, “we tested it, everything was ready to go. Something is not right.”

We’ll keep you posted if any new details emerge as to the exact nature of the tampering.

Despite this cringe-worthy snafu, all in all, it was a huge success. The film was great. Then to top it off, Andrew Morton, a real trooper I’d say, stayed through all of this until well past midnight. He then met us around the corner for drinks and to congratulate Ian. What a class act.

In true Hollywood style, the show, must go on.

[Editor's note: this is NOT a review of the film, I will await the edited version for a proper review]