Think Scientology’s Weird? Read This!
Here is a list of of questions asked during a sec check. What’s a sec check? Good question, because as far as I know Scientology’s the only “religion” which requires them and then logs them. This isn’t the same as a Catholic confession, and here’s why:
Potential blackmail
Scientology researcher Jon Atack, who is a former Scientologist and a known critic of Scientology, posits in his book A Piece of Blue Sky[1]:“In theory, Security Checking could be applied either as a Confessional, in which case the replies obtained were said to be confidential, or during the course of an investigation, in which case they were not. In practice, the Confessional has proved to be a double-edged procedure, sometimes giving genuine relief, but always harboring the potential future use of the material as blackmail. An enthusiastic convert is willing to expose even his most tortured secret. Should he become disillusioned by Church practices, he will keep quiet for fear that his confession will be disclosed.
See that, once again Scientology takes a perfectly useful tool which has been proven to ease people’s minds, confession, calls it something creepy and sinister, logs is for future use by the auditor and BAM! instant compliance. Law enforcement is effective at using this mind trick too when getting criminals to confess. As Mr. Atack states above, initially confessing gives genuine relief, but once you know that information is being kept somewhere, it provides and effective means of coercion.
Glosslip, in the interest of being fair, will now undergo a sec check:
“Whole Track Sec Check”
Have you ever enslaved a population? No, unless readers of celeb websites count?
Have you ever implanted anyone? Is this a personal question? How DARE you!?
Have you ever sacked a city? Hmmm…thinking…..no?
Have you ever sunk, or otherwise destroyed, a non-combatant vessel? Only that one time, and it was a complete accident. Sorry.
Have you ever abused hostages, or prisoners? Not in this decade.
Have you ever ordered, or yourself committed, genocide? One time I sprayed some ant spray over a huge swarm of ants entering my garage, so I guess that’s a yes.
Have you ever annihilated a population? See above. I am pretty sure they were all dead.
Have you ever poisoned food or drinking supplies? Is this a trick question? I better com back to this one.
Have you ever strangled anyone? Only with my mind.
Have you ever deliberately spread disease? Well, I have a cold right now and I went to the grocery store today, so YES, I have.
Have you ever degraded a religion? Hehehe, trick question again.
Have you ever raped a child of either sex? NO, unless hermaphrodites count, and then still NO!
Have you ever warped an educational system? It’s interesting you’d ask that. I was once forced to sit out in the hallway for an entire quarter for disrupting my algebra class, and my teacher said I was the most obnoxious student he’d ever had, so maybe.
Have you ever deprived people of hope? Every single day. Twice on Sundays!
Have you ever committed murder? Does that ant colony count, because like I said, I killed them all.
Have you ever destroyed a culture? I was afraid you’d ask that. Does New Wave 80’s count?
Have you ever forced anyone into an undesired beingness? Um…hrmmm, can I hear that in a sentence please?
Have you ever stolen a body from another being? LOL! Seriously, I just laughed right now.
Have you ever destroyed an economy? No, but I know a guy who did, can I tell on him? His last name starts with B and rhymes with tush.
Is anybody seeking to discover your whereabouts? Likely, a lot of people.
Have you ever violated a nation’s neutrality? I make fun of France sometimes, but hey, who doesn’t?
Have you ever broken a treaty? Official or unofficial.
Have you ever blanketed bodies for the sensation kick? WTF? Seriously, WTF?
Have you ever upset an ecology? I peed in the woods a few times and may have dropped a deuce once, but there were NO bathrooms. Cut me some slack.
Have you persecuted others for their religious or political beliefs? Not any “real” religions, and yes to the last part.
Have you ever interfered with the free flow of trade? I refused to buy some underage kids beer once, so yeah.
Well, that was fun, and weird. Are there a lot of dictators in Scientology? Those are some really strange questions.
Ok, where’s my certificate?
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Yep, strange questions indeed. HEH. But what is missing here is statement of how frequently a sec check is used, what its use and purpose are, why it exists at all, what degree of training is required to give one, to whom the results of the sec check go. And more. I’ll happily inform you that an effective security check would have a wide range of uses, from national security to nuclear power plant security through commercial application and even FBI, CIA and police force. But the questions are interesting, no? heh.
Comment by Terryeo (yes, that one) — March 31, 2008 @ 8:57 pm
Dawn got Terryeo’d.
(It’s like rick-roll but without teh lulz.)
Comment by Lord_God_Xenu — March 31, 2008 @ 9:33 pm
That’s not the whole sec check, I think. I remember looking at it and it was as long as longcat. Also, it asked about your sex life and details and junk.
It might be posted on somewhere like xenu.net or lermanet or ocmb–one of the oldschool sites.
Comment by Anonymous — March 31, 2008 @ 9:41 pm
“The very vocabulary of the people was under Party Control; a system called “newspeak” was encouraged. One of the most dreaded words in the arsenal of Newspeak was the most heinous offence according to the Party – that of “thoughtcrime” which was sure to be punished by the Thought police.”
-George Orwell 1984
Comment by Anonymous — March 31, 2008 @ 9:46 pm
Without exactly defending Scientology or approving, I will say that I do *understand* the Sec Check thing, because don’t forget the person taking the test is attached to a Star Trek looking polygraph machine. Therefore, I can see how getting answers to these questions isn’t the actual point. They’re *supposed* to be crazy sounding and shocking, and how the person reacts on the E-meter to hearing these insane questions actually could probably tell you loads about where their head is at. Like if they ask you how many planets you’ve eaten, and you calmly say “five” as the needle shows you sincerely believe yourself to be telling the truth! Then the auditor files a report, “this guy’s nuttier than we are. I recommend we promote him.”
Comment by deely-bopper — March 31, 2008 @ 9:54 pm
You are right, this is a brief segment of the sec check, and again you are right the whole this is longer than looooooonnnnnngggg cat, which is almost as fun as Rickroll!
Comment by D — March 31, 2008 @ 11:27 pm
One of the by-products of the Anon “entheta storm” has reportedly been a wave of sec-checks throughout the orgs. Someone has to be responsible for this, right?
…oh, and its also a nifty way to raise cash, since they charge you for these (of course!)
Just another way the CoS is fracturing their own morale. I mean, srsly, all we’re doing is standing on freakin street corners and they’re shaking themselves apart.
Comment by Rick A — April 1, 2008 @ 1:36 am
#1 I have a question for Terryeo do they surgically remove your smile or is it just the brain washing at work. Funny stuff D
Comment by Leslie — April 1, 2008 @ 1:40 am
“And more. I’ll happily inform you that an effective security check would have a wide range of uses, from national security to nuclear power plant security through commercial application and even FBI, CIA and police force.”
Why are we worried about Scientology, that does’nt sound chilling or un-American in anyway?
Comment by bob dobbs — April 1, 2008 @ 4:13 am
Dawn that is too funny.
“Have you ever deprived people of hope? Every single day. Twice on Sundays!”
Nahhhh don’t beleive you on that one.
Comment by Mitsu Too — April 1, 2008 @ 6:31 am
Just so you know, when you are given a sec check, this is done on the meter. You don’t just answer the question, if there is a read on the meter when the question is asked, you have to answer it. The person asking you the questions cannot let you go until they get the exact answer of what was done, when was it done, who almost found out about it, and whether you justified this harmful action in some way. Your needle has to float after answering all those things, and then the auditor will REASK the question, checking the meter again to see if there’s a read. Your needle has to be absolutely floating for the auditor to leave the question. So you cannot just give some glib answer. If you have a dirty needle (a specific way the needle reacts) it means you’re not telling something, so the auditor has to make sure the needle is clean and there is a floating needle. So the question of “have you ever been a coward” may read 20 times and each time EVERYTHING is gotten relating to that question.
Comment by lazy sue — April 1, 2008 @ 8:29 am
Whew, Lazy Sue, whew. That would make a long session. Thinking of how many many civilizations I’ve enslaved, how many cities I’ve sacked and how many Anonymous’ I’ve lulzed, hey, it would be a loong session.
Comment by Terryeo — April 1, 2008 @ 10:36 am
Dawn dropping deuces in the woods. Awwwwwww.
When’s that Jamie Dewolf story coming up?
Comment by OT666 — April 1, 2008 @ 11:30 am
Great Job!
Keep the world informed on these evil criminals. Hit em’m hard where it hurts - choke off their money supply whenever & wherever possible and in time they will wither, dry up and blow away…
Comment by Jim — April 1, 2008 @ 4:01 pm
Sec checking seems alot like hitting yourself with a hammer..it feels good when you stop. Just when one thinks the CO$ could not get any more bizzare.
Comment by truthseeker — April 1, 2008 @ 4:20 pm
When my friend Jane and I were seven, we invented the Cylclon Star Empire™. She was the eeeeeeeeevil empress and I her trusty vizier in charge of subduing our conquests. With naught but a cardboard spaceship and some control panels fashioned from black plastic and Jujube’s™, we enslaved Captain Kirk and the whole bloody United Federation of Planets™ and made them our bitches. We were but seven years of age and we made up waaaay more believable stuff than the Sec Check. Hubbard couldn’t run a pretzel factory let alone an empire.
Enslaved a population? Damn straight we did . . . at seven. Xenu lived at home with his mother until he was 38, and only then did he begin to start thinking about taking on the Marcab Confederacy. Sheesh.
Comment by Artoo45 — April 1, 2008 @ 4:29 pm
If you think those questions are creepy, intrusive and a bit too useful as blackmail / coercion fodder… you should read some of the questions asked on the Church of Scientology’s “Sea Org” application:
http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk119/dr3kwins/soapp4.jpg
http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk119/dr3kwins/soapp3.jpg
http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk119/dr3kwins/soapp2.jpg
http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk119/dr3kwins/soapp1.jpg
Feel like giving them the dirt on every sexual experience you’ve ever had… including full name, date, place, sexual act and number of times performed?
Feel like telling them about your “deviant” behavior (like, um, being gay… how deviant).
Creepy cult is creepy. I’d rather fill out a job application for the FSB or Stasi. Less intrusive.
Comment by David Mudkips — April 1, 2008 @ 5:05 pm
You forgot “Have you ever given robots a god?” That one’s the best.
Comment by anonymous — April 1, 2008 @ 11:21 pm
So why doesn’t someone take these questions and turn them into one of those viral emails that everyone sends to their friends where they answer questions about themselves. It would be kinda funny and would get folks to be more aware about the, uh, “finer nuances” of “Cryintology.” Speaking of which, why has Anonymous not yet started a public “Free Katie Holmes” campaign? Seems like everywhere I read she is unhappy and wants to get out. Perhaps if enough “Free Katie Holmes” signs were held up and bumper stickers given out… and enough media attention given to it, she would see the support and become a defector. Wouldn’t that be a coup? I personally am not a member of either group. But am fascinated by the battle…. like any perpetual battle of the sides of technology. It’s like a bugs bunny cartoon where first their are sticks, then knives, then guns, then cannons, then missles, then boom and no one wins. Then again Anonymous is the March Madness Underdogs in all this. MMMM Perhaps the general public hopes they are the cinderallas who end up in the Final Four and eventually win the big dance. Can they make the jump shots? Can they keep the grass roots innocence with keen intellect to undermine the savy of control for the sake of control. Fascinating. Fascinating.
Comment by Say no to LGAT — April 2, 2008 @ 12:36 am
The Katie Holmes thing is a non-starter. Sucks to be her, but short of a serious incident there’s no way she’s escaping. Remember, you’re basically asking for a wife to leave her husband and daughter behind (Tom doesn’t seem to be the “mother-knows-best” type of father…and probably isn’t even the “mother should have visitation” type either).
So besides being incredibly…fruitless, it narrows the debate. Like I said, it sucks to be Katie right now, but she’s living comfortably. Theres a whole slave underclass (RPF) in scientology that doesn’t get to sleep on designer sheets in their prison, and have pressures a bit more immediate than “Suri needs a playmate, spawn more overlords!”
Of course, she has a support network if she ever wants to evac out of that madhouse, but there is nought we can do to accelerate her freedom besides driving Tom even more batshit crazy by cracking Tom’s BFF DM’s can of secrets wide open.
As for literature, one auspicious anon has taken it upon himself and a small team of proofreaders and contributers to put together an 80 page packet of pure documentation goodness–literally, it describes all the criminal convictions, IRS shenanigans, and other government-documented, sworn-statement-given incidents. Its one hell of an eye opener–pity its 80 pages, but it is an easy read and is one helluvan eye opener. CBA to post link now, mebbe tomorrow. Check out the “info packet released” thread on enturbulation.
Comment by Anonymous — April 2, 2008 @ 2:59 am
Okay, this questionnaire is weird! So, what if it is a real scientology thing? And what if it is used to see how a person reacts to weird questions?
Guilty of being weird, okay. Weird is not illegal. There’s all this yap yap yap about crimes but it all seems like speculation to explain the weird things we don’t understand.
THE GUY IN THE MASK SAYS: Scientology has murdered thousands of people and has never been found guilty of all those crimes because they infiltrated the government and hypnotized all the prosecutors across the world with their emeter-death-ray-machines.
TM SAYS: Report crimes and otherwise, stop making up stories and spreading rumors.
TM ALSO SAYS: Live (oddly) and let live (oddly)
POWER TO THE WEIRDOS!!
Comment by tm — April 4, 2008 @ 8:07 pm
Simple answer to the Sec checks of Scientology is “judge not lest ye be judged”
The late Hubbard I believe would not have passed his own devised sec check.
On the Johannesburg sec check I believe a question exists about what nasty things a person has or may think about the late Ron. Paranoiac tendencies indeed making the minds of converts also of a related mental disease.
Grand illusions or delusions go together with paranopiac tendencies.
Look at the current Robert Gabriel Mugabe as one example of this.
Comment by Moneen — April 5, 2008 @ 6:31 am