Tom Cruise, Oprah Winfrey To Reunite For Atomic Foot Bullet
MSBNC’s Scoop is reporting some very interesting news on the Tom “I molest couches” Cruise front:
The actor hasn’t appeared on Winfrey’s daytime talk show since his June 23, 2005, appearance where in addition to promoting “War of the Worlds,†he very enthusiastically expressed his love for future wife Katie Holmes (we’re putting the whole couch incident in the past).
It’s not clear what the focus of this show will be, but it is well-timed to May sweeps, and a quick look at the calendar shows that this summer is the 25th anniversary of Cruise’s breakthrough role in “Risky Business.â€
A rep for Warner Home Video does confirm that there are “special plans†for the anniversary, and details are being finalized. Other celebrities have been contacted about being involved in the show according to sources close to them, so expect it to be an A-list hour of television. Cruise’s publicist wasn’t available for comment and “The Oprah Winfrey Show†didn’t respond by deadline.
Let’s think about this for a second. The last time Tom Cruise appeared on Oprah’s show he made a complete ass out of himself and spawned a new term in the cultural lexicon “couch-jumping” which is synonymous with “bat-shit crazy.” It was this singular event which caught the eye of celeb biographer Andrew Morton and was the impetus for his explosive book on Cruise. A book mind you, which was the lead domino in a slew of toppling dominoes on the whole Cruise/CoS backlash.
Also going on during this major Cruise brain-fart, was the whole TomKat debacle. Cruise was clearly on a one-man cruiSAde to destroy his career (most likely by the ill-fated prompting of his “friends” at the Church). Not only did Tom attack Brooke Shields for treating her post-partum depression and tell Matt Lauer he was being glib, but he also managed to burn the most powerful bridge in Hollywood — no, not one that leads to “total Freedom” — but rather the one that leads to Steven Spielberg. And if anyone has the power to destroy the Church of Scientology and its pervasive tentacles slithering in every aspect of Hollywood, it’s Steven Spielberg.
Nope, not even the massive army of Oprahites are going to resurrect Tom and his doomed career. Only leaving the CoS, denouncing their abusive practices and sworn testimony against certain misdeed-doers will do anything to help the poor guy.
I almost feel bad. Almost.
(hattip: Enturbulation.org)
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this will likely be the most tightly scripted, un-spontaneous show in the history of oprah.
the studio will be knee deep with $cientology goons and handlers.
Comment by Ben — April 24, 2008 @ 4:16 pm
Just think how many times and how long it took for Mr. Cruise to get those backward jumping moves just right. For, we all know that was anything but spontaneous. As many journalists have observed and pointed out…
“It took quite a lot of practice jumping up and backwards on sofas to accomplish that move. You don’t just “do that” and it works!â€
I speculate he watched himself in the mirror over and over so he could get it just the way he wanted (not to mention ensuring he didn’t fall off, because that would have made him look even more asinine than the show he put on.)
I wonder what kind of gymnastics he’s working on with a trainer right now. Anyone want to guess? A backwards flip over the coffee table? A Cartwheel entrance? You just know he’s gonna pull something that he hopes will fool everyone into looking spontaneous.
What a creepy thing to even think about. Yuk.
Comment by Jack — April 24, 2008 @ 4:29 pm
Andrew Morton said he tried it and almost threw out his knee. Those crazy Brits, they are committed!
Comment by D — April 24, 2008 @ 4:38 pm
I hope, when they take questions, that someone has the balls to ask, “So how long did it take in practice to get that move down just right?”
Then we’ll see him lie his ass off while smiling… “Practice? Practice? That was all me baby! I’m in Love don’t cha know!” Sure you are, Tom. Sure.
Comment by Jack — April 24, 2008 @ 4:57 pm
Spielberg always defended Tom, why do you still beleive this crap?
He went to Tom’s party wedding in LA. Come on.
Comment by Anita — April 24, 2008 @ 6:28 pm
Sorry, this won’t save “Valkyrie”, Tommy! Wonder if La Oprah will ask anything about the CULT? Doubt it!
Comment by mavis — April 24, 2008 @ 6:45 pm
I sad, we got a winner!
Comment by failfag — April 24, 2008 @ 7:23 pm
Apparently the interview will be filmed at Tom’s house.
Comment by Anonymous — April 24, 2008 @ 9:27 pm
When Oprah found out James Frey (author of “A Million Little Pieces”) had lied to her on national tv and made her look like a fool she couldn’t wait to get him back on her show to give him a public tongue-lashing. He lied, and she HAD to call him on it.
Oprah has the perfect platform to expose Scientology as a scam because it does the exact opposite of what she preaches.
But Tom Cruise only made himself look like a jackass on her show, and she’s not gonna go anywhere near the Scientology topic. It will be really hypocritical because she’s always extolling the virtue of being honest with yourself and others, of “knowing thyself” blah, blah, blah.
Get ready for a fluff piece.
Comment by HellaWeird — April 24, 2008 @ 11:28 pm
oprah is a fool, just like cruise, look at how many guru’s she keeps falling for.
Comment by sally — April 24, 2008 @ 11:34 pm
Anita…What in God’s name are you rambling about? Spielberg? Huh? But since you brought him up…why don’t you read the stories about how he and members of the War of the Worlds set got creeped out by the COS people on site and their recruiting tents. They were finally asked to leave. I’m sure Sir Steven thinks Cruise is a good actor, but as far as endorsing his CULT? No evidence. Zip. Nadda. What, because he went to party for his wedding? So what? Brook Shields was there too and she thinks Tom is a loon. Have you forgotten that or just chose to ignore it.
Comment by Jack — April 25, 2008 @ 12:29 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAmxu8FyyjI
Comment by Jack — April 25, 2008 @ 4:01 am