Kirstie Alley Says Scientology’s “Fun.” Sure, But Only If You Are A Celebrity
“Fat Actress” Kirstie Alley did a Q & A with Playboy Magazine and of course, she revealed once again, how she lives in a special bubble, for special people, made special for celebs. This is especially true of her faith, which she shills for whenever the opportunity arises.
Here’s some illuminating thoughts on Scientology from Ms. Alley’s interview in Playboy:
PLAYBOY: What should America pay attention to?
Kirstie Alley: How about the fact that our kids are on psych drugs and that they’re in school systems that don’t teach them anything? How many kids are on Ritalin? It’s bullshit. The same kind of kid who stuck pencils in his nose 30 years ago is now called sick? While we’re so worried about street drugs, how much of the population is on psych drugs? And yet we’re sitting around wanting to know who’s fucking whom?
PLAYBOY: What’s left out of everyone’s story on Scientology? For instance, what don’t the Germans get about it?
Kirstie Alley: That it’s fun. Say you have a problem in your life: a compulsion to strangle mice. [Pauses] That just came up. No reason. Anyway, say you wake up every day and you just can’t wait to find a mouse, and it’s taking up a lot of your time. You’d have a couple sessions in Scientology and soon you wake up and decide you’d rather go to Home Depot. You’d see a mouse on the way and not have any desire to strangle it. You’re just, “Hey, there’s a mouse.” Scientology takes barriers out of your life and lets you have more fun. What I’m saying is that it’s fun to have control, to solve problems, to eliminate compulsions. I define compulsion as anything you feel like you have to do that you don’t necessarily want to do. It all boils down to whether what you’re doing gives you more survival or less survival. If it gives you more survival, then it’s a good thing.
PLAYBOY: Sounds like you have all the answers. Where do we go when we die?Kirstie Alley: We just pick another body. We go to the nearest hospital where women are giving birth, find some good-looking parents and jump in. I don’t think there’s a rest period, though there might be a confusion period if you were killed in an accident and knocked out of your body. It would all depend on the shape you’re in as a spiritual being, which is our natural state. The better the shape you’re in, the less confusion. At least that would be my hope. This is just a prison planet–and here’s what it takes to get out: a Get Out of Jail Free card or a Get Off of Planet Earth Free card. You should have one in your wallet or purse at all times, just in case. You know how we’re all looking for the big secret in life? That’s it.
PLAYBOY: As a Scientologist, you must own an e-meter. What happens when your non-Scientologist friends come over and want to play with it?
Kirstie Alley: I own three. I do the pinch test with them. When somebody’s not a Scientologist, they want to know what an e-meter is. All an e-meter does is help a person locate moments of pain or unconsciousness and disagreement. It doesn’t tell right or wrong, it locates moments. For the pinch test I have them hold the e-meter cans. Then I show them the meter face, the dial. Then I pinch them. When I do, the dial reacts. The needle jumps. Then I say, “OK, good. Recall that pinch.” They think of the pinch and the needle jumps again–without the actual pinch. You think again and again about the pinch, and each time the needle jumps less until the memory of it isn’t painful anymore. Finally I’ll say, “Recall that pinch,” and the needle will “float,” just move back and forth, and my friend remembers no pain. A new pinch starts it all over again, but that would be a new pinch.
PLAYBOY: When you were a kid, what did your friends say about you that you hated but which has now become an asset in your life?
Kirstie Alley: I’ve always been told I’m crazy. Always. When I wanted to come to Hollywood to be an actress, I was crazy. When I was at a party and wanted to do something, I was crazy. I’ve always believed I was sane but extroverted. And when I look back on the things I’ve done, I can honestly say that very few of them were harmful or destructive. They were crazy but fun. I guess being called crazy is a good thing.
PLAYBOY: If you never gained weight, what would you eat?
Kirstie Alley: I’d drink five glasses of wine and eat caviar and tons of sour cream, and then eat a box of chocolates, then have a big bowl of pasta as a snack. I like everything in abundance. I’ve always aspired to be a lush. I guess I’m like Henry VIII, except I don’t have syphilis.
Clearly Kirstie, lives in a self-indulgent, self-absorbed world on her island of crazy. One wonders if these famous celebs are aware of the horrors of Scientology.
Just recently, it was confirmed to Glosslip the head of Kirstie’s Church, David Miscavige violently beats his staff, or how members (not celebs, not ever) get sent to Church’s equivalent of prison, the RPF (Rehabilitation Project Force) for not performing up to standards or for daring to question their faith, or how hundreds of women in the Sea Org have been forced to choose between aborting their baby, or destroying their life in the Church. Honestly, the list goes on.
Once again, even in spiritual faith, celebs get treated special and are rewarded for simply being famous. I there were no Kirstie Alleys, Tom Cruises, John Travoltas, Jason Lees, Becks and so on, Scientology would have been treated like any other cult. Ridiculed, outlawed and held accountable in a court of law for their vicious crimes.
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She goes right to attacking psych. Typical.
I wish she could meet some of the kids I’ve encountered as a nurse, those who truly benefit from Ritalin or Adderal. There’s a distinct difference between children who are misdiagnosed and given meds that have no benefit to them and the ones who truly need it and derive great benefit from the meds.
Oh well, I’m not gonna waste my breath on the brainwashed. They’ll never get it. They can go play with their cans until they’ll numb to reality all they want and I’ll go live a life and experience all the highs and lows and everything else in between. Somehow, I think I’ll have more fun along the way.
Comment by Joanie — April 29, 2008 @ 11:15 am
out of all the examples she used, she had to pick strangling mice…..
Comment by RealityMonger — April 29, 2008 @ 12:37 pm
Too bad that e-meters can not cure Scientology of its compulsion for emotionally strangling its members.
Comment by Capcom — April 29, 2008 @ 12:43 pm
I like what Kirstie says but have fun, anyway. Lulz.
Comment by Terryeo [copyleft] — April 29, 2008 @ 2:53 pm
I smell a rat.
Comment by manny — April 29, 2008 @ 3:17 pm
Seriously, She would lose weight and not feel like strangling mice if she’d get off the e-meter. Sitting around trying to blow BT’s can make you heavy and insane.
Hey, check this out! L Ron says our souls were caught in a electrical trap and then dissed by Zenu - yet look how he uses an electrical devise right off the bat to hook people to scientology.
L Ron is Zenu!
Comment by tuffyt — April 29, 2008 @ 3:35 pm
After what Germany’s been through Kirstie wants to let them know how ‘fun’ her cult is? Seriously? Another example of how completely out of touch celebrity cult members are from their public. Could she have said anything more stupid than that? Oh yeah, just EVERYTHING she said right after that. And just before it.
Comment by ugh — April 29, 2008 @ 3:36 pm
We just pick another body? Yeah, that makes sense.
Comment by Zip — April 29, 2008 @ 3:47 pm
Scientology: making Earth safe for mice, one fat, deluded actress at a time.
Comment by David Mudkips — April 29, 2008 @ 4:14 pm
At the end of the day, no one is really going to give a crap about what she says because she is a nobody. Her semi-famous days are long gone. But I did find the comment on the mouse amusing and insightful, due to all those rumors…COS must have dynamite blackmail on her.
Comment by Sam — April 29, 2008 @ 4:15 pm
Thanks Dawn! Awesome as always! It is good to see that some ARS people have found their way here as well!
Comment by Billy J — April 29, 2008 @ 4:15 pm
Maybe next time she’ll pick a fit body.
Comment by k — April 29, 2008 @ 4:27 pm
Edit: Say you have a problem in your life: a compulsion to overeat. You’d have a couple of sessions in Jenny Craig and soon you wake up and decide you’d rather go to Home Depot. You’d see a donut on the way and not have any desire to eat it.
As I’ve stated in other posts, I don’t understand how Tom Cruise (who has personally helped people kick heroin habits) and Scientology combined couldn’t help Kirstie stay away from the pasta, wine and caviar.
And didn’t I hear that she’s going to have her own reality show where she’s going to help people deal with their weight issues? Wouldn’t it make more sense to direct them to Scientology?
Comment by HellaWeird — April 29, 2008 @ 4:30 pm
Oh sorry, it’s not a reality show, it’s a weight-loss program, like Jenny Craig’s.
You gotta love the nonsense.
Comment by HellaWeird — April 29, 2008 @ 4:33 pm
Slob.
scientology is about as fun as dehydration and roach-bites.
Comment by ben — April 29, 2008 @ 5:04 pm
*sigh* Kirstie, Kirstie. It’s so easy for the self-absorbed and self-righteous to glom onto “something” that’s resolved to keep a 24k spoon in your butt and a wall in front of your eyes to keep you from seeing all the ugly in life. Who cares what the Co$ does to other people, right? I mean if they’re miserable, tortured, oppressed, harassed, humiliated or even killed, it was just their own damned fault anyway, right?
More bon-bons Kirstie?
Comment by OT666 — April 29, 2008 @ 5:08 pm
Anyway, proof positive that she’s about as thick as her backside.
Comment by OT666 — April 29, 2008 @ 5:09 pm
Still lulzing at #12.
Comment by Mudkipz like you — April 29, 2008 @ 7:14 pm
apparently homonovis is unable to fit in a normal sized body.
Comment by NEWanonymous — April 29, 2008 @ 8:15 pm
So why can’t Scientology help her with her weight problem?
Comment by Desert Rain — April 29, 2008 @ 11:31 pm
So Germans hate fun and Scientology can stop mice murderers…….
with spokespeople like this Scientology is sure to fail.
Comment by On the Bridge — April 30, 2008 @ 9:48 am
um, this story is from 1999. it’s funny, but it’s also 9 years old, and presented online as “new.” it’s old.
Comment by jenny — April 30, 2008 @ 1:21 pm
I don’t see anywhere in this article that this is a “new story” per se. So what’s your point? Also, earthlink users need not apply.
Comment by d — April 30, 2008 @ 1:32 pm
yea…seriously, if $cientology is so great and so helpful, how did she become a lard ass who weighed about 300 pounds?? She was obviously stress eating, which means she’s got major problems which means she’s a walking advertisment that $cientology is a big FAIL
Comment by Libraesque — April 30, 2008 @ 3:51 pm
Here you have a Scientologist who is successful and willing to talk about her religion, her success and her personal feelings. I applaud her for doing so.
Comment by Merrill — May 1, 2008 @ 11:07 pm
I would hardly call a beached whale successful.
Comment by David Davis — May 2, 2008 @ 2:01 am
Please mommie! No more wire hangers!
Comment by Terryeo — May 2, 2008 @ 9:48 am
David Davis:
Excellent logic Mr. Davis - anyone with a weight problem can’t possibly be successful. (Oprah anyone?)
Grade school arguments void of logic don’t make you a very credible commentator.
Really people, just because someone battles with their weight is no reason to belittle them and provides no foundation for negating their beliefs.
Comment by Merrill — May 2, 2008 @ 5:51 pm
“There’s a distinct difference between children who are misdiagnosed and given meds that have no benefit to them and the ones who truly need it and derive great benefit from the meds.”
As I recall, there were kids in my school who really “benefitted” but actually had put on a big play act so they would be recommended for med prescriptions and then when they went to get their prescription they would palm the meds while pretending to take them and then sell them on the street and pretend they derived “great benefit”. Often they would put on a different play act in order to get a different prescription that they could get more money for. Sometimes the kids would start out throwing them away and straighten out their act so nobody would suspect. Then they would find out they could sell them for money and a little extra money. I remember after going to the nurse’s office for something else I was asked by a number of other kids if they put me on prescription meds and I knew some of these were selling the stuff on the street. Just another one of the things that happens to our hard earned tax dollars.
I remember Kirstie Alley on Cheers. She was OK. I certainly wouldn’t have a problem being her or Tom Cruise for that matter, except for the part about Suri and Katie being attacked by the gossip sites.
Comment by JohnnyD — May 3, 2008 @ 2:41 pm
i remember when this website was first out. it was rubbish but now its ok
Comment by charlotte daverenport — May 8, 2008 @ 4:18 am
Anonymous is in the process of rising protest against Harpo Productions and all these Scientologist Celebrities in a massive boycott. Tell your friends. If you take away the money, they have nothing. Watch them squirm when they can’t pay for courses.
Comment by Anonymous — May 14, 2008 @ 6:21 pm