Dina Lohan Needs A Reality Check, And I Ain’t Talking About The Kind She Can Cash
I am seriously ticked off at Dina Lohan. She needs a reality check, and I’m not talking about the one she desperately needs from her new “reality” show to pay for her mani-pedis and designer lifestyle. Not only is she whoring out her remaining children to the god of “reality” television:
The cameras follow the party-mom and “manager” as she leads Ali down the same star-studded path as her troubled, tabloid-staple sister.
The pilot episode, called “Mommy Will Fix It,” centers around the family’s North Merrick, LI, McMansion.
See Dina buffer her family from rumor, protect Ali’s music taste from execs, and help Ali cope with her music producer Jeremy Greene, who is rumored to be dating big sis Lindsay.
“You’re not here to please anyone but you as an artist,” she says to Ali during a conference call with music execs.
Not only is she obsessively trawling the internets for tawdry news about her eldest:
In her daily news search for all things Lohan, Dina, 45, says she’s looking for “idiots who are talking trash.”
“I don’t live my life every day going, ‘Oh, they’re talking about us,’ ” Dina snaps. “I’m over it. Yes, it still does hurt, but people are just idiots.”
Not only is she spewing hypocritical garbage about how protective she is of her children:
“Oh God, everyone’s talking about Lindsay’s intervention,” she mimics in a valley-girl voice. “This is so stupid. They better not talk about Ali like this, or there’s going to be war. I’m like a lion with her cubs.”
One cub could have used a curfew. Lindsay was in and out of rehab three times, and arrested for DUI and cocaine possession. But Dina’s had some trouble of her own – she’s known for her booze-fueled nights in the city’s hottest nightclubs and for her bitter divorce with her jailbird ex, Michael.
As an alleged Lindsay sex tape shows up on a blog, Dina just clicks on the link and stares at the screen, trying to judge if it’s her daughter.
“It’s a big game of chess, and it’s our move. Bring it on now. Let’s go,” she says.
But a little blurb at the end of this article shows the depths of her narcissism:
And mom’s right there with the bad girls – leaving the kids at home to carouse at a party thrown in her honor, only to discover that her Long Island house had caught fire with her children asleep inside, says a source close to the family.
Grow up, Dina. Your job, and the only job you should be worried about, is that of MOTHER to the kids you have left. NOTHING is more important than that. The lives of your children should come before any party, and any real mother would recognize that. It is implied that the children were home alone, and if that is true then this woman is truly the scum of the earth.
Oh wait.
Yes, I know that things happen every day over which we have no control. My own house caught on fire and I had nothing to do with it. But…I was at HOME and there to get my children and pets out of the house and comfort them afterwards, not out carousing and acting like an idiot. I’m not saying moms should never have some fun, but come on…if she left her two minor children home alone to do so then she deserves to be investigated by the proper authorities. At the very least she needs a butt-kicking.
This is the first I’m hearing about any fire, and so it must have been small and contained, but I’m here to tell you that a fire can spread quicker than you think and it could have been a disaster. Thank God nobody seems to have been hurt, in spite of Dina’s appalling lack of maternal instincts.
Here’s a preview of her new show. I’m warning you, don’t eat anything beforehand, unless you like cleaning up your own vomit. And watch for the part where Dina is checking out a clip of two people having sex, trying to figure out if it is Lindsay. Ali walks in and watches the clip too, even asking at one point, “Is that Lindsay?”
Um…yeah. Fourteen years old. Wonder if Cirque Lodge has a juvie ward? Last time I checked, allowing a child to watch porn is against the law. And look…it’s all on tape.
E!…the network to go to if you want to pimp out your kids.
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She let her 14-year-old watch the sex video? WTF is wrong with this woman?
She needs a swat from my Clue Clubâ„¢
Comment by Joanie — May 20, 2008 @ 12:00 pm
What a useless “mother” this broad is. “Protects her cubs” ? “Unfortunately has to manage Ali’s career”? I’ve known strippers with more class.
Comment by Rachel — May 20, 2008 @ 6:40 pm
what a piece of poop this woman is
Comment by poop — May 28, 2008 @ 3:05 pm