Vanessa Hudgens Not Only An Expert On Photography, But On Relationships As Well
Teen movie queen Vanessa Hudgens has revealed how you know you’re in a successful relationship…it’s when you don’t have to work at it, because that would be, like, hard and stuff:
“If you really love someone, you shouldn’t have to work at it,” the 19-year-old tells [COSMO Girl]. “You finish each others’ sentences and have the same sense of humor.”
Oh, really. And here I’ve been spending the better part of two decades attempting to do things like work out our problems and resolve differences and make an effort. What was I thinking?
The article also describes how Vanessa, when Zac walked into the room, ran over and gave him a big kiss and rubbed his belly in an affectionate way, and this spoke more than her words can say. If that’s how people gauge true love, I truly despair for young people today.
Let’s ask little Vanessa her opinions on this same subject in about twenty years, when Zac Efron has a bit of a potbelly and his career is in the tanker. I guarantee she’ll have a different opinion, because this sort of thing only happens in silly teen movies and Barbara Cartland novels. Sure, after a while you know what the other person is thinking, but that is just a byproduct of spending time together, not necessarily the sign of a successful relationship. And having the same sense of humor is nothing more than two people who…share the same sense of humor. Um, HELLO?
A friend of mine once told me that true love is when you’re willing to wash the other person’s dirty underwear. I’d take that a step further…a successful relationship doesn’t just happen, it is a choice. You make a choice every day to have a successful relationship when you are picking up their nasty, smelly, stiff socks off the floor for the umpteenth time (that day), when you are listening to Beethoven’s Fifth Fart Symphony, when you’re tripping over the trash that they were supposed to take out yesterday, when they have a headache (again)…
You see, so many times this is exactly where people make their mistake. Once the “honeymoon” phase of the relationship is over, and there comes a time when the relationship actually requires work, and it isn’t as easy as it was in the beginning, and that sense of humor is working your last nerve and the sentences you’re finishing are the ones in the middle of an argument, people think there is something “wrong” with it. Then they think it’s time to trade in the one with mileage for a newer model, thinking that because everything is “easy” again this must be “right”. I know it isn’t as cut and dried as that, and some relationships that take work really are destined for failure, but you get the idea. It is completely irresponsible for anyone in the public eye to promote this skewed view of relationships.
Yes, it is definitely a choice, and something one has to work at every day. Anything that you care about takes work, and that includes relationships. No matter how much “in love” you are with the other person, there will come a time when that relationship will require a degree of work. But when you are truly in love, and truly in a committed relationship, those choices aren’t a burden to make. There’s the difference.
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Vanessa needs to get a grip of realtiy she is not sexy and not pretty!!!!!
Comment by shonda — June 26, 2008 @ 5:54 pm
I think we can add this to Nessa baby’s brilliant insight from a recent interview equating “success at acting” with the number of paparazzi that stalk you.
Noooo sweetie pie. That’s not career success, that’s failing to wear pants in public success.
Comment by Kati — June 26, 2008 @ 7:06 pm
She needs to know that she has so many child fans..ugggg………..WHORE
Comment by Buela — June 26, 2008 @ 8:30 pm
K – I’ll take the meaning of true love one step further. The real test of love is when you’re feeding, and dressing, and cleaning, and changing diapers after wiping your loved one’s butt 24/7 as they are dying of Alzheimers. My dad is doing that right now for my mom. I never figured they would last, but they have, and as she’s descended into nothingness from this awful disease, he’s stepped up to the plate to take the best care of her possible, and to help her stay in her home until the very end. That’s the real test of true love.
Comment by Ann — June 26, 2008 @ 8:34 pm
Ann, I completely agree with you. And I think it is wonderful that your dad has stepped up to take care of your mother.
Vanessa, I’m sorry to say, is in for a major rude awakening. It’s when times get tough and you don’t feel like you’re in love any more that you’re really tested.
Give your mom a hug for me. And your dad too.
Comment by k — June 26, 2008 @ 8:41 pm
YOU R DUMB
Comment by savannah — June 26, 2008 @ 11:18 pm
I kind of a agree with her. Yes, even the most ideal romantic partners have problems and disagreements that have to be dealt with, but when a relationship requires endless “work” (usually that almost constant talking and talking and talking about stuff and picking at problems until they bleed, which seems to be the modus operandi of most women), maybe that’s telling you something. Of course, I’m a guy. If I’m doing something thoughtless that annoys you, just let me know and I’ll stop. If I’m always doing stufff that annoys you, maybe you should start looking for another guy, preferably one who doesn’t annoy you as much.
Comment by Bilwick1 — June 27, 2008 @ 12:57 pm
Bilwick: I do agree with you (and I did allude to it in the article) that if you have a relationship that requires a lot of work, a huge amount in comparison to the results you’re getting, then maybe it’s time to step back and reevaluate (and possibly get gone).
But I do stick by my original analysis that just because a relationship requires work, that doesn’t make it a bad relationship or one that isn’t meant to be. I’ve been married almost two decades, and the past several years have been extremely rough to say the least. If we had money we’d probably be divorced. But we rode out the worst, put a bit of work back into it when we were on civil terms again, and now things are better than they have been in years. It just takes some effort. But had we been able to divorce, four lives could have very well been ruined (there are kids involved). Even had it just been the two of us, it would have had an effect.
The problem with us women (generally speaking) is that we want that fairy tale…somebody who comes in and the angelic choir starts singing, the heavens open, a ray of sunlight appears, and everything just automagically falls into place. Sometimes it does happen that way, but it rarely stays that way. After the choir goes back to Heaven and the clouds close up, that’s when the relationship really starts, IMO.
Comment by k — June 27, 2008 @ 1:26 pm
*snerk* What a foolish girl.
But really, what do you expect? She’s 19 years old. Weren’t most of us pretty clueless about such things at 19?
Comment by Amelia — June 27, 2008 @ 1:50 pm
And there may be a bit of a miscommunication between men and women. For example, when you say, “…problems and disagreements that have to be dealt with,” I personally lump that under “relationship work”.
Work doesn’t have to be backbreaking and sweat-inducing and making your fingers bleed. If you’d like, it can possibly (in some cases) also be renamed “effort”. Put a bit of effort into it, you get rewards. Put no effort into it, you soon find yourself alone.
(and I do realize I’m typing it to death…but at least I recognize it)
Comment by k — June 27, 2008 @ 1:50 pm
Amelia: Yes, she’s 19, and I’m taking that into consideration. I’ve said several times that she’s got a lot to learn…and from the looks of it, it’ll be the hard way.
And yes…I was pretty dumb about relationships when I was 19. Of course, I was engaged at 19, married when I was 20. I’ve also had to learn the hard way. (but I am still married to the same guy)
But the difference is that my opinions at 19 were not broadcast to the world at large. Vanessa’s are, and especially to her fan base, many of which are young, impressionable girls looking for anything to justify their fairy-tale, unrealistic notions of what romance and love are. When someone like Vanessa justifies those notions by such thoughtless comments, that’s when I have to stand up and say something.
Comment by k — June 27, 2008 @ 1:54 pm
if you really love someone, it means that you are willing to work at it – no matter the cost … e.g. see Ann’s post above
Comment by quasimodo — June 27, 2008 @ 1:55 pm
What an idiot, that girl.
Comment by 9 — June 27, 2008 @ 4:21 pm
Hopefully, her remarks reflect her age and not her upbringing.
Comment by kit — June 27, 2008 @ 6:24 pm
I don’t think it’s particularly surprising that a teenage girl has naive and simplistic ideas about life. What I find surprising is that anyone cares about her “deep insights” on life.
My friends and I had lots of dumb ideas when we were teenagers. The adults around us generally said, “That’s nice” and ignored us. When I was a kid and I had an actual problem, I was at least smart enough that I didn’t go to other kids for solutions, I went to my parents or teachers. Today we see the bizarre phenomenon that adults not only ask children for their opinions on the great issues of the day, but then they publish their answers in magazines and on the internet for other adults to study and learn!
Yes, I’m sure there are some number of twelve year olds who know more than most adults. But not many.
Comment by Jay — June 29, 2008 @ 4:00 am
Give her a break…all of us probably say things and it sounds good at first but then later you think…I could have said that better. Also, these paparazzi just want gossip and who knows how and what she really said. I think considering how long they’ve been dating they are more mature than others in relationships, i.e. the swapping of women John Mayer does. Or Cameron Diaz for that matter. At least these two are young and can still handle a relationship with all eyes on you. How many of us would want that or for that matter survive it? I say just laugh at the read and move on.
Comment by Megarro — June 29, 2008 @ 5:00 pm
It wasn’t a paparazzi thing, it was deliberately said in an interview. Read the article first before commenting.
Comment by k — June 29, 2008 @ 5:22 pm
K
I did read the article and what I was getting at is the paparazzi ask questions of people to get to the gossip. Yes I know she said this. Either way I just have a difference of opinion to your commentary above. Sorry for commenting and not agreeing with you.
Comment by Megarro — June 29, 2008 @ 5:42 pm
No, you don’t have to agree with me…people disagree with me all the time and it’s okay, it comes with the business.
But the way you worded your comment made it sound like this particular incident was in response to a pap question, when in fact it was in an interview she agreed to and sat down for. I was just trying to make that distinction. She wasn’t misquoted.
Yes, I agree that paps do shout ridiculous questions just to get a rise out of people or to get a weird quote for their shot.
Comment by k — June 29, 2008 @ 11:24 pm
you are not that sexy you know
you just bwhat zack to love you
Comment by mitt — June 30, 2008 @ 7:31 pm
You take what was said about love by vanessa and you come up with a different answer that gets everyone to go against her, making it seem like she is the bad one here, but really you are if you have taken the time to comment about what she said. Yes she might be too young to know what love is, but she is a person too in this world, the same world that you are in and the world that is full of mistakes. i’m a person who knows how that feels to have everyone go against you maybe not about love, but about life and with every word you say or every lie you tell even if it is harmless to say, you are messing up her life and just think to yourself if you were where she is now with people talking about you saying that you are a slut, whore, or even stupid, then you tell me if you like what you hear even if it is true and what it feels like to be surrounded by everyone hating on you. i think by these pictures being on the web, isn’t bringing her down, but making her strong and i know she has a better life than you, if you spend your time talking about her’s!
Comment by JayJay — July 1, 2008 @ 7:50 pm
I Agree With JayJay
Comment by Carrie — July 6, 2008 @ 11:52 am
OMG!!! whatev
Comment by KittyKatMan — July 14, 2008 @ 1:46 pm
first all of her fans are children not many
is she asian indian cause i smell something funny
19 makes her doable and stupid a bad duo just ask that younger spears pig all stretched out at 16 oh well theres always tommy lee
Comment by bilbo — July 14, 2008 @ 4:49 pm