Mariah Carey Stays In Love Witchu
“In love witchu”? Don’t try so hard, you’ll hurt yourself.
Mariah Carey’s new video has come out, and it looks and sounds like pretty much every other Mariah Carey song that has come out. It starts off soft and ends up with Mariah screaming and showing off her vocal range while dancing around and touching her heaving bosoms. Yeah, we get it, you can hit the high notes…and by the way, thanks for ruining millions of talent shows all across the world as entirely too many pimple-faced wannabees who stopped vocal lessons after the “project your voice” class try to be you.
Plus, this video is nothing more than an almost four-minute commercial for Mariah’s perfume. The logo is on the wall behind her as she dances as well as on her boot (which you see in the first few seconds), and just in case we missed the total subtlety of it all, she is seen applying the scent to her cleavage in the first fifteen seconds. Because “subtle” is Mariah’s middle name.
And just in case all that wasn’t enough, not only is Mariah trying too hard to be Mimi From The Block, but her song features such soul-stirring lyrics as these:
It cuts so deep
It hurts down to my soul
My friends tell me
I ain’t the same no mo’…
Oh, wait…that’s totally different. I can see now what the fuss is about. I’m framing those lyrics and hanging them on my wall. I need such inspirational thoughts to help get me through my day. Because, after all, I have to suffer through life without a Hello Kitty bathroom. The agony!
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Wow… What a witty article. This should cut deep!
Comment by Yen — October 28, 2008 @ 11:12 am
She is from the block. She’s an unbelievably hit-maker with more #1 singles than Elvis. You’re a trashy journalist.
Comment by Mike — October 30, 2008 @ 7:13 am