Hide Your Men: Paris Hilton And Benji Madden Call It Quits
I used to think that Paris Hilton only went after hawt young pieces of freshly ripped manmeat, but when she started dating Benji Madden it became clear that either she was capable of expanding her horizons, looking past the outer shell, and totally going for the bald, slightly pudgy type, or he has some hidden “talent” that we don’t know about. Either way, I’m locking up my husband, and I’m not going to tell you for which reason. Why? Because Paris and her boyfriend Benji Madden have ended their relationship, and that means Paris is on the loose again:
Paris Hilton and Benji Madden called it quits Tuesday after nine months of dating, a rep for Hilton confirms exclusively to Usmagazine.com.
“Even though they are still in love, they felt it would be better to just be friends,” a source close to Hilton, 27, tells Us.
The reason for the split?
“Benji was overprotective and controlling. He doesn’t get along with any of her friends,” the source tells Us. “Friends thought Paris had changed since being with Benji and she wants to be herself again.”
I agree with her friends. She had changed…she wasn’t out until 3 in the morning, she wasn’t falling down drunk out of clubs, she wasn’t flashing her knickers (and her nethers) at every possible opportunity, and she was generally behaving herself…well, as much as anyone named “Paris Hilton” can.
But then again, it seems like he’s usually glaring at the camera like he is ready to rush the cameraguy and take a bite out of the lens. Every so often he’d look human (like in the photo above), but mostly this is one angry-looking dude. Of course, a lot of that could be just putting on for the press (after all, he has an image as a bad boy rocker to uphold), but you never know.
Anyway, she’s discovered what those of us who love a baldie have already learned…bald men don’t waste their hormones growing hair. Once you go bald, you never go back. There’s a whole new territory that’s been opened to her now…I’m telling you, if you have a short, slightly overweight guy who’s losing his hair, lock him up. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.
Just another public service I offer at no cost or obligation to you.
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