Blake: It’s My Fault That Amy Winehouse Is An Addict
In what seems to be a rather candid and stunning interview, Amy Winehouse’s husband Blake Formerly-Incarcerated admits that he is the one who introduced Amy to drugs, cutting, and the high life:
Blake Fielder-Civil, spoke of the extent of their drug-taking, how he introduced his wife to hard drugs, and his fear as she collapsed with a seizure after an all-day binge.
The music video assistant, who is currently in a drug rehabilitation centre, broke down as he told the News of the World how Amy, 25, asked him to let her try crack cocaine as she watched him taking it. Previously the singer had only tried cannabis. [...]
Fielder-Civil took the blame for Winehouse’s current state, as he spoke of how the singer didn’t even recognise him after her collapse, and began to cut her arms after seeing him self-harm.
‘Amy got really upset about seeing me bleeding. And because she’s loyal and f****d up over our love — like Romeo and Juliet — she cut her arms too.’
The 26-year-old began taking heroin at the age of 22. Admitting that he was old enough to know better, he said: ‘Crack is the nastiest drug. It makes you paranoid, unreasonable, edgy and totally suspicious of everyone.
‘I made the biggest mistake of my life by taking heroin in front of her,’ he said. ‘I introduced her to heroin, crack cocaine and self-harming. I feel more than guilty.’
He revealed how he was so consumed with remorse, that he has even considered taking his own life. ‘I feel like killing myself. I feel like f***** dying.’
Fielder-Civil, who has recently been released from Pentonville Prison after serving five months for GBH, spoke of his lowest point, when Winehouse nearly died in front of him last year.
He told how they had taken heroin and crack all day long. ‘We didn’t really think to stop. We both pushed things too much. And while I was getting out of my head, I wasn’t thinking that I was taking somebody with me.
‘Then my wife, who I love with all my heart and soul, just started shaking violently in front of me.’
He said that he started crying as he lay her down in the recovery position, clearing her airways to prevent her from choking or biting her tongue.
‘It was heartbreaking, seeing someone you love more than yourself, someone you would die for, someone you would kill for on the floor shaking.’
Worse still, the singer didn’t even recognise him when she came round. ‘I will go to my grave with that picture of Amy asking me, “Who are you? Who are you?”
‘I knew f***ing then that I had ruined something beautiful. It was all my fault. It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life.’
Blake is still in rehab, and says that when he gets out there will be no reconciliation:
‘When I see pictures of Amy and the state she’s in it tears my heart out. I just want to pick her up and help her.
‘But I can’t — because I’m the man who caused it all. It scares me to death that I can’t fix Amy.
‘I will do anything for her — and that includes walking away.’
He has vehemently denied that he has been planning a divorce in order to get a share of the singer’s £10million fortune.
‘I’m not interested in her money,’ he said. ‘I always offered to do a pre-nuptial agreement before we got married.
‘It doesn’t matter if I turn up in the divorce court homeless and with no shoes on, I’m not taking a single penny off her.’
Fielder-Civil spoke of his dream that he and Amy could one day have a future together. ‘In an ideal world me and Amy would live together in a nice house with our two kids and all of this would be a distant f****** memory.’
‘What people don’t realise is that Amy is an amazing wife, an amazing home-maker and a beautiful figure in the home.
‘You would be surprised the domestic bliss you can have with Amy just doing the cooking and caring for you.
‘But because of drugs we can’t have a normal life together. That’s why I have to let her go.’
What Blake says about introducing Amy to hard drugs backs up what her sorry father told an interviewer back in February:
Amy Winehouse’s father Mitch has blamed his jailed son-in-law for his daughter’s addiction to class A drugs.
While Mitch concedes Blake Fielder-Civil is “not entirely responsible” for Amy’s drug problems, he believes they worsened after the two married last year.
Before getting together with Blake, Amy had told her dad she thought class A drugs were “for mugs”.
Well, while I’m tempted to be all cynical and heartless about this, I’m not so sure that he isn’t telling the truth here. I mean, could it be possible that he actually has had a change of heart, that he truly is trying to get his life back together, that he really does want the best for Amy even if that means he walks away? I want to believe it. I really, really want to believe it.
But I also think that Blake takes a bit more than he deserves. If someone has an addictive personality to start with, they will latch on to an addiction like a fish to a baited hook. The desire to self-harm, to take drugs, has to be already present inside of someone…you don’t just cut yourself because your boyfriend thinks it’s a good idea, there’s got to be something already there inside you that urges you on. While he does definitely need to take responsibility for his part in getting Amy messed up and hooked, he can’t take all the blame and leave Amy with none. She also has to accept responsibility or she’ll never get better.
I’ve certainly ragged on Blake in the year or so I’ve been writing here, and he’s deserved it. But if he really truly is trying to change his life and be a man, I’ll be the first one in his corner. Only time will tell and it’s a bit early yet to make snap judgements.
Pink Stripe WordPress Theme Designed by Joni Mueller &
I would be more sympathetic if I hadn’t read those love letters he wrote in jail.. to another woman.
Comment by Brooke — December 2, 2008 @ 12:50 am
[...] Source: k [...]
Pingback by Celebrity Blog | Babelogs | Celebrity Gossip » Blog Archive » Blake: It’s My Fault That Amy Winehouse Is An Addict — December 2, 2008 @ 8:43 am
Too little too late from Blake
Comment by Matty — December 2, 2008 @ 10:10 pm
[...] but then again these two aren’t exactly deep, introspective thinkers. From Blake’s blaming himself for introducing Amy to drugs to his own lack of interest in honoring his marriage vows, I find it [...]
Pingback by GlossLip » Husband Of Amy Winehouse Has Had Enough, Wants Divorce — January 13, 2009 @ 10:00 am